How much of these things do you consider a treat?

[LajesticVantrashell]

Person A has done/given/bought her DC the following this weekend. Person B thinks this is excessive and that they're all treats which should be given rarely and sporadically.

1. McDonald's
2. Soft play
3. Swimming
4. A new book
5. A small bag of jelly sweets
6. A magazine

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home.

How often do your DCs do/have the above?

1. McDonald's - wouldn't ever take DCs there

1. Soft play - treat

1. Swimming - fun active activity (if not a lesson)

1. A new book - treat, though reading is to be encouraged

1. A small bag of jelly sweets - treat, but not a big one

1. A magazine - treat, but not a big one.

I probably wouldn't do swimming and soft play on the same day, and might have bought the book but held it in abeyance for a rainy day.

Sweets and comic/magazine - probably weekly.

The real question is who is person B and why does it concern them.

@crustycrab what are you putting in your lasagna

To think of Mcdonalds as a 'treat' means that they have done a very good job of fooling you, and you are then fooling your kids. I would try never to support kids to think that Mcdonalds is a treat. Avoid avoid avoid... for every which reason imagineable.

Why is it any of your business?

We're not into McDonalds but everything else any time.

Loving the Mumsnet virtue signalling about Mcdonalds (the horror! only once a decade at most) and books (oh yes we buy a whole new library each week to show how cultured we are).

Overall I would say that all 6 would add up to a treated child, if all in one weekend. The activities and purchases would make a fair dint in many family's non-essential spends budget, and might also leave little time for day to day life, e.g. doing weekly shop, sorting out house, supervising homework, etc.

I would consider all of them a treat apart from swimming. If it was a fun pool/water ark it would be a treat, but an ordinary pool is just part of learning to swim, which is essential.

I would do one 'anyway' treat a month, and then extras for birthdays/extra special rewards.

I think it does depend on disposable income too. For one child, that probably adds up to £30 maybe? Thinking £6/7 swimming, £5/10 at McDonalds, a fiver at soft play, and then the rest for the book and magazine. Which to me is a very reasonable amount to pay a whole weekend of entertainment and activity, but to others that would be a huge chunk of money so things would have to be a treat for that reason alone.

Loving the Mumsnet virtue signalling about Mcdonalds (the horror! only once a decade at most) and books (oh yes we buy a whole new library each week to show how cultured we are)

Why is thinking McDonalds tastes like crap and buying books (from charity shops alright with you?) 'virtue signaling'?

Grow up.

But then I'm a terrible parent as my one-year-old
DD had some chicken nuggets yesterday and not for the first time!

@crustycrab - DD would be full after a portion of lasagne but after a Happy Meal she was hungry 1/2 hour later when she was 5 and older. And if you ever looked closely into how commercial chicken nuggets are made (not just McD, most of the shop bought "reformed meat" ones as well) I also think there are better ways to feed a child.

I don't mind her eating them if she is out with a friend or at a party but I prefer spending my money on someting better.

Loving the Mumsnet virtue signalling about Mcdonalds (the horror! only once a decade at most) and books (oh yes we buy a whole new library each week to show how cultured we are)

Maybe people just really don't like MacDonalds and really do try to encourage their kids to read. Why does that provoke such a response from you?

That's a rhetorical question btw.

I’m horrified to see a book described as a treat. They’re a necessity in this house.

@Alsohuman I have masses of books as do my DCs, they are still a small treat.

@Delaneyblue it’s not unreasonable to avoid McDonald’s, it’s expensive, doesn’t taste great, is unhealthy and very unpleasant inside (makes me really miss the Australian version which is much nicer). Re books, they’re a bit of a necessity when you have children, unless you’re buying your kids Dostoyevsky I don’t think you get cultural kudos.

Loving the Mumsnet virtue signalling about Mcdonalds (the horror! only once a decade at most).

I don't see how people saying they don't take their children often to eat salty, processed, deep fried MC Donald's is virtue signalling to be honest, it's just saying you don't take them often as you choose not to. I can't imagine people care two hoots what anyone else does.

You’re not me, are you?

I’m horrified to see a book described as a treat.

Buying a book is a treat.

Reading a book is not (well not from the point of view that it's out of the ordinary; from the point of view that it's very enjoyable it's certainly a treat!)

When my DC were younger we went to the library every week and the DC would pick a whole selection of books that they wanted. But they knew actually buying a book was definitely a treat - generally reserved for birthdays and Christmas.

Everything other than McDonald’s is normal

1. McDonald's - don’t really have them, 6 year old DS has had them maybe 3 times if we’ve been travelling and stuck for food. We do eat out or have fish and chips or a pizza most weekends, it’s just McDs isn’t our thing
2. Soft play - it’s rainy day activity rather than a treat.
3. Swimming - lessons are essential. Standard swim is a rainy day activity rather than a treat. Water park type place is a treat
4. A new book - fairly regularly, as and when rather than a treat
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - every week
6. A magazine - occasionally as I hate the plastic tat that comes with them. DS has been getting pocket money lately so has used his money for one

We’re very fortunate that we can afford most of the above to be a fairly standard weekend rather than a treat. If you can’t afford it these things are bound to be more of a treat.

We don’t go to macdonalds because we are vegetarian. Nothing to do with their shitty food or ‘virtue signally’.

Sounds pretty standard. My 10 year old has done
Trampolining fri night with friends
Played football match sat morning
Went to football match sat afternoon
Inflatable fun session with friends sat night
Trampolining with friend sun morning
Played roller hockey matches sun afternoon.

He has eaten McDonalds too and had chocolate bar.

He plays in an ice hockey team, football team and roller hockey team so weekends tend to be busy. He has had plenty down time too and has chilled watching movie with me and playing ps4 etc

1. McDonald's Yes
2. Soft play No but only cos we opted for family movie instead
3. Swimming twice a week
4. A new book World book day voucher
5. A small bag of jelly sweets chocolate
6. A magazine last week

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home. we didn't do park or walk but that would be exercise anyway

I think it's fine as long as it's appreciated and not expected - any of the above is fine - it's only bad if they become entitled/it's seen as I ask I get.
Personally I have no issue with books as I pick up second hand a lot. Park and swimming are exercise as is soft play (different for us maybe as we have leisure passes so unlimited). I do Maccy Ds once a week which is probably bad but the only one on your list I consider a treat is the magazine - given the amount of tat they have in them. That said if yours actually read it then no harm is there if you can afford it - all reading is good.

I think all apart from McDonalds fine once a week as the activities are healthy active ones and reading books and magazines always good. If your children wanted new books every week l, I would suggest using the library more or trying second hand book shops first but depends how affordable it is for you. McDonalds ok now and again but I wouldn’t give it to my kids every weekend. Not because it’s too much of a treat, just that it’s not the healthiest. I think a small bag of sweets every weekend is fine.