How much of these things do you consider a treat?

[LajesticVantrashell]

Person A has done/given/bought her DC the following this weekend. Person B thinks this is excessive and that they're all treats which should be given rarely and sporadically.

1. McDonald's
2. Soft play
3. Swimming
4. A new book
5. A small bag of jelly sweets
6. A magazine

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home.

How often do your DCs do/have the above?

Softplay- mine are a bit old now. Generally just at birthday parties

Mcdonalds- very rare. But neither kid likes it that much. If you mean eating out, once a month with us. Grandparents take them out for lunch or cake mist times they visit

New book- at least once a month

Sweets- never more than once a week

Swimming- try to most weekends to help with swimming lessons.

1. McDonald's - we have one about once a month
2. Soft play - mine are now tweens so no longer go to soft play but when they were younger maybe once a fortnight
3. Swimming - used to go once a week but cancelled gym membership. Now go once every couple of months. It’s an activity though not a treat
4. A new book - I don’t view as a treat, if they want a book to read I don’t mind buying them one bit we do as a household have thousands of books!!
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - it’s a treat but we aren’t strict on treats. Jelly sweets maybe once a week
6. A magazine - we don’t tend to buy them as they are expensive for what you get although we do subscribe to the week junior

For mine, the magazine = treat. The rest = weekend.

I don’t take for granted that it’s a privilege to be able to do these things with children.

1. McDonald's- infrequently, not a treat more if we're stopping at service station on long journey etc.
2. Soft play - I take my 2 year old a couple times a month mid week in winter so not a treat, regular activity
3. Swimming -not a treat, but a fun family weekend activity. Splash park would be a treat
4. A new book- not a treat
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - weekly treat
6. A magazine - rare treat as very expensive

Sounds pretty average to me. Some weekends my DC would have all these things, some weekends none.

This weekend they have been to swimming and gymnastics classes, which I don’t consider a treat, and lunch out at a chain place at a retail park after being dragged around furniture shops. Older DC has also been to a birthday party today at a trampoline place so no doubt has stuffed herself with nuggets and will bring home a party bag full of junk (she’s still there now).

Next weekend we might shove a few sandwiches in a bag, go for a walk and call it a picnic, costing nothing. Is it the cost that is bothering you? Or the calories?

Oh, and books are considered essentials, not treats.

1. McDonald's - doesn't eat them
2. Soft play - once or twice a week
3. Swimming - once a week
4. A new book - regularly
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - doesn't eat them
6. A magazine - he's 3 so doesn't read them yet.

What's it got to do with person B?

I don’t think any of them are a treat. Swimming & soft play are just things to do, you can never have too many books & I don’t really buy into the food as a treat thing (McDonald’s every once in a while is fine but it’s not a treat, it’s just lunch)

That is a pretty standard weekend for us. But whilst I wouldn’t really consider any of that a ‘treat’, they are things that require good behaviour.

So for example, I would say ‘if you keep on doing X, we won’t go swimming later’ or ‘you’ve been a really good boy in the shop today, do you want to chose a magazine?’

Al fine in my house

It’s excessive for one weekend so I’m with person B

Mine get a lot of magazines, because they really get good value out of them. They've blown their saved up pocket money on a magazine each and a bag of sweets to share, but this has been a quiet weekend. Possibly monthly / half termly.

We rarely go to McDonalds. Excepting other people's birthday catering, I think they've been twice. Ever, not this weekend! But there is a cafe we visit approx monthly after swimming. It is a treat for me as much as them though!

Swimming is a treat, but the kids are free and I have membership, so it's a frequent one. Weekly lesson and approx fortnightly play swim. We are a bit old for soft play now, but every 3-4 weeks back in the day (during the winter, much less in summer).

New new book, expensive, but maybe 4 X a year? Second hand new book, much more frequent. We have a family member working in a charity shop who keeps her eyes open for what we want.
In all it comes to a busy / possibly expensive weekend, but if you can afford it, why not? A weekly McDonald's and bag of sweets won't make a child obese! And there's nothing wrong with books!

Would have classed all as a treat when I was a child as grew up with little money. I'd say for my own kids these types of things are more regular apart from McDonalds and swimming as I don't like either (but could substitute in similarly priced food / activity).

I think they’re all “ treats” to a degree and it would be unusual for me to do all those in a weekend. I think it depends if it’s a weekly event or a once in a while. In our house We now have a monthly subscription to a kids magazine so I probably wouldn’t buy another and I would tend to try the library before buying a book. McDonalds doesn’t happen here although we eat out pretty regularly so I don’t feel there’s any deprivation.

1. McDonald's - our tradition is that we go on the Friday that school breaks up for any holiday. Sometimes MIL will take them on a Saturday if she's having them for the weekend.
2. Soft play - they're a bit old for soft play now, but it used to be maybe once a month?
3. Swimming - apart from lessons, every couple of weeks, they love the fun sessions at the local pool.
4. A new book - when they finish the one they're reading!
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - that's granny's domain!
6. A magazine - rarely - those things are daylight robbery and they only want the plastic tat you get free with them. The actual magazine gets pretty much discarded!

Sounds like a busy weekend to me out and about, with some "treats "'bought to ease the activity beginning / ends

Eg macdoanlds after a long swim
Jelly tots to encourage small children up a hill walk
A magazine/book to be read on the journey to and from the activities

All are routine in our house except magazines. We never buy magazines as everything can be read on line.

A typical weekend if dh and I are both at home;

Saturday morning gymnastics then out for brunch, Saturday afternoon swimming.
Sunday morning soft play, Sunday afternoon play in house or park.

During the spring and summer we'll have 2 or 3 big days out a month; farm park, safari park, zoo, beach etc.

They're all treats imo, but I don't think that they should be rare.

1. McDonald's McDonald's is an occasional thing here. Or a we're out and just need something to eat
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1. Soft play*^ Not really much of a treat, more of a rainy day activity, still something nice though

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1. Swimming*^ Not really much of a treat either, it's exercise

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1. A new book*^ I buy mine a book each around once a month, usually when I get paid. Good for encouraging reading

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1. A small bag of jelly sweets*^ Maybe once a week as a Friday treat

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1. A magazine*^ I don't tend to buy these as I find them a waste of money mostly full of ads. Depends on type of magazine though

I think it all really depends on your family finances though. They're all 'treats' but not necessarily excessive.

1. Bit young here but would be a rare treat.
2. Regular
3. Regular
4. Regular
5. As one above
6. Bit young but likely to be regular.

One child sixteen months.

Only the McDonald's is a treat.

I guess it depends on what the week looks like as a whole. This weekend we’ve done literally nothing other than grocery shopping and sorting out the house. This in perspective of the fact that I’m currently in a low paid flexible way role at work which allows me to collect him from after school care at 4:30 and then attend piano lessons, gymnastics and swimming during the week. In comparison, when I was working in a well paid paid role, he would be at childcare until 6 every night. At weekends we would do lots of activities and plenty of treats. Similarly holidays involved lots of trips both in the UK and Europe. It all needs to be viewed as a totality.

It sounds like a nice weekend for a child to me.
Certainly not something I’d describe as ‘excessive’.

I don’t see swimming as a treat. We don’t do McDonalds.

The rest yes, but not excessive for one weekend.

"McDonald's treat occasionally or in school holds for health reasons"

@Ruby8719

What "health reasons" would there be that mean you can only occasionally have McDonald's?

Person A has given the child a lovely weekend. Person B is either the other parent (separated and jealous), friend (interfering and jealous) or a grandparent/family member (overbearing and interfering).