How much of these things do you consider a treat?

[LajesticVantrashell]

Person A has done/given/bought her DC the following this weekend. Person B thinks this is excessive and that they're all treats which should be given rarely and sporadically.

1. McDonald's
2. Soft play
3. Swimming
4. A new book
5. A small bag of jelly sweets
6. A magazine

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home.

How often do your DCs do/have the above?

Swimming and books are not treats for us (bookworms who live next to a lake so we swim very regularly). Magazines are a luxury as so expensive but happy to buy if I can.

Everything else is a treat.

1. McDonald's - 3 maybe 4 times a year, usually if we've gone shopping all day eg at Christmas. It's complete junk so not something we want to make a habit of.
2. Soft play - I hate them so it's only whenever we are forced to go to a nursery child's party at one.
3. Swimming - not a treat, an important life skill. We are about to start a weekly session plus a weekly lesson for our 4 and 2 year old.
4. A new book - not really a treat, we always buy books, we will sometimes say it's a reward for something but we are constantly buying books, our children got 3 new ones this weekend right after swimming actually.
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - we don't really buy stuff like this, it's usually just if they are in a party bag.
6. A magazine - we don't really buy magazines for our children, just books.

1. McDonald's - treat
2. Soft play - it's hell on earth so no treat
3. Swimming - not a treat
4. A new book - no books are essential
5. A small bag of jelly sweets -not treats
6. A magazine - yes a treat as they are overpriced crap

I like my dc to think of books as a treat whenever they get them. It’s nice when they’re happy to receive one as a gift.

I would not see any of these are treats as such.

1. McDonald's - not ideal nutrition so sporadic, max once every couple of months, never seen as a treat as it’s junk.
2. Soft play - not a treat.
3. Swimming - not a treat, all good things to do with kids.
4. A new book - not a treat if you can afford it and others read.
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - not a treat, sweets should not be seen as treats, fine every now and again if everything else healthy, it’s just another type of food, but like other sugary things shouldn’t be excessively consumed.
6. A magazine - if you can afford it and they read it, all good.

My idea of a treat is an outing to somewhere different and special - maybe an adventure/theme park, theatre or cinema to see something in which they've shown an interest.

I don't think it's over the top to do all that in a weekend. You might go swimming every Sunday for example, then on Saturday go to soft play and McDonalds.

Sweets books comics are bought as and when seen/wanted (funds allowing) so no, not treats.

We go to town maybe once a month at most, so they wouldn't be every week expenses for us, but I certainly wouldn't consider it excessive if we went shopping/cinema/Mc'D's in one weekend.

Person B obviously lives a different lifestyle to Person A. That is their prerogative and neither should criticize the other.

I'm confused why people think a new book is not a treat but a new magazine is? Is it because magazines don't last as long?

The magazines my children choose are rubbish. They choose them solely for the plastic stick on the front. They do a few of the puzzles and discard the magazine.

They read books from cover to cover. The books are usually well written and improve their grammar and vocabulary.

If they choose National Geographic or a science mag I’d have no problem buying them. But they don’t.

We get new books every week for the 5 of us
We go swimming everyday after school. Great exercise
Magazines could be a treat
Sweets and McDonalds almost never
Soft play is a waste of time

Who the hell thinks swimming or a book or a small bag of sweets is something that should be done rarely? Swimming is a life skill for goodness sake.

Which one are you op, the dilligent parent or the one with no clue?

It depends - when I’ve not been working they’d have been treats for half terms, but now that I earn a fair bit, mine go swimming every week and soft play and McDonald’s maybe once a month, sweets a few times a week and a magazine once in a blue moon (realistically maybe 4 times a year) because I think they’re a waste of money. Books they can have whenever they want.
If I did that all in one weekend it would have to be a special occasion.

@theschoolonthehill I have every Nat Geo since 1970 and they are very much a staple. The youngest one loves Nat Geo Kids

All fairly standard weekend stuff here. I don’t buy magazines very often because the DC are only interested in the plastic tat and not the actual content, and £4 is expensive for a few bits of plastic! Also don’t buy jelly sweets as the DC don’t like them, but will buy them a small chocolate bar or something instead.

2,3,4 not treats at all. Just part of parenting/activities needed for entertainment and development

McDonald's and sweets - a treat. Maybe once a month for the first, once a week or fortnight for the second

Magazine - my DH and I disagree over this. I think a lot of them are really good and worth the money and also foster an interested in other types of reading than books. I think it's a small treat but happy to give it often

Soft play is a waste of time

Mine love soft play, they’ll run around for hours while I sit and read my book. Not a waste of time in my eyes

It's a lot all in one weekend.
McD is emergency food in this house - usually sonewherexaling the M1.
Swimming or soft play as a wet weekend activity.
Books - freely borrowed from a library. Would buy if couldnt borrow. Not a treat.
Small bag of sweets - treat, and not the same weekend as McDs.
Magazine - we get Week Jn every week, plus Aquila once month, so standard here. The branded ines with plastic stuff on the front, we dont buy.

I don't think any of them are huge treats individually but mine wouldn't generally do/get all that in one weekend so it would be seen as a treat weekend if they did.

These all sounds like regular normal weekend treats to me, we swim every week and the rest we do once a month I'd say.

tryingtoloseweightnow:
During the spring and summer we'll have 2 or 3 big days out a month; farm park, safari park, zoo, beach etc.
.......
That sounds about right. I like all those things too, can I come :-) ?

@crustycrab see what you mean by the fish fingers and fruit bags in a happy meal - that foods not unhealthy but I also wouldn’t class it as a treat. That’s the kind of food I would feed at home so clearly not the typical McDonald’s burgers etc. Also as I don’t eat McDonald’s myself I wouldn’t go out of my way to go to a mcdonalds restaurant to pay for three fish fingers and a bag of fruit every week. That’s why I said I would limit McDonald’s to a treat on the occasional weekend or school hols.
Each to their own though.

I'd think it was quite expensive to do them all. Mind you I've got to the age where I think everything is expensive, God it's depressing when you hear yourself saying, "I remember when you could get those for 6d.

McDonald’s (or another similarly priced fast food or cafe place) probably every week or two, normally for lunch if we’re out anyway.
Soft play and swimming, normal weekend activities, especially in bad weather. Probably wouldn’t do both in one weekend, unless the latter was swimming lessons.
Sweets are a treat, but were (and are!) a regular one. We’d often put a family film on with movie snacks on a Friday or Saturday night.
Magazines, I used to buy the CBeebies ones when mine were small, and they got hours of fun / learning out of each one, with the stories / games / puzzles. Once they got older they could choose to buy them with their pocket money.
Books we mostly got from the library (we went weekly) and new ones tended to be birthday or Christmas presents.

All that said, it’s only excessive if the parent can’t afford it, or the child is now overtired and cranky.

1. McDonald's - It’s just lunch/dinner but not healthy so probably considered a treat by dc as it’s not had very often.

1. Soft play - normal day to day activity

1. Swimming - same as above

1. A new book - reading should be encouraged so I wouldn’t view this as a treat.

1. A small bag of jelly sweets - part of a balanced diet just like chocolate when not eaten in excess

1. A magazine - a treat as my dc don’t get them very often.

I would say it sounded like a nice, normal weekend. Person a is enjoying life and person b is a misery.

Are we talking "treat" from the point of view of spoiling the children, or from the point of view of how much money is being spent?

Soft play, swimming (not lessons) and McDonalds were all treats when my DC were the age that I imagine OP's must be. Simply because we didn't have the disposable cash to spend out on 3 reasonably costly (compared to going to the park, having a picnic, going cycling or going to local free places) things in the space of one weekend. So they would definitely be spread out for that reason. I wouldn't have wanted my DC to think they were everyday occurrences.

Buying books were also definitely a treat (used the library - which also qualifies as "free place") as are magazines (children's ones ridiculously expensive). Couldn't get excited about a bag of jelly tots.

But if you have plenty of disposable income and spending this amount on your DC over a weekend is no issue for you, then go for it.

Leaannb That is nice to have. My kids choose tat like Barbie with free stickers! . I have tried buying Nat Geo and their grandfather has gifted it to them but they rarely look at them. Shame really.