To not find ‘useless men’ funny?

[usuredo]

Keep seeing stuff on Facebook about useless husbands/dads and how hilarious it all is.

A few friends shared the same post on FB which was one of those parenting story things by a blogger about a fictional ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ about how mummy just gets on with things without being told anything but daddy needs to be asked to ‘watch the kids’ and given lists about basic things like washing and feeding and bedtime, that daddy gets home from work to a clean house and kids in bed whilst mummy always comes in from her part-time job to chaos and has to run round tidying up and re-sorting out the kids. It was all laughter reaction emojis and thousands of comments along the lines of ‘Hahaa this is so true!’ crying laughing emojis.

I’m also on a few cleaning groups on FB (‘hinching’ and similar) and it’s a regular fixture to see the ‘Lol men are so useless!’ posts where women talk about coming in from work and having to do 100% of all the housework along with eye roll and laughing crying emojis. I see it constantly in relation to different things, even ‘oh I’ve been bed-ridden with flu for a few days and now I’m better the house is completely upside down because my partner was off work and taking care of the kids/running everything hahaha! Any tips on how to do a massive deep tidy and clean in one day?’

It may be a massive sense of humour failure because it’s all lighthearted I suppose but I’ve been through that kind of set-up and it’s actually completely shit and depressing, and I feel like these kinds of posts just normalise it and make it humour and acceptable?

I agree! Its like when you see a dad out on his own with his kids everyone gushes "what a wonderful dad, awwwww so adorable!, i love it when a man loves his kids!"

Um... women go out with their kids all the damn time yet they dont get gushed at about how amazing they are for doing what parents SHOULD be doing. Its so annoying.

Yh agree with you OP, I do not like these parts of fb/ social media. Maybe it's their way of not getting angry and upset about their useless husbands?

YANBU. It’s ridiculous. The bar for men is set so low.

They’ll learn, give them time. But it truly is why I am single. I keep meeting men who cant/won’t even buy me dinner but expect a full porn star experience in exchange for their company of an evening errrrrrm no

Yanbu
It's not cute and it's not funny. In a relationship everyone should play to their strengths ( I like cooking he likes to clean) but when it comes to parenting we are equals. He only works 3 days a week and has done so since dd1 was six months while I work full-time.
Yes people like my nanny say he is amazing while not giving me the same credit but she is an older generation and I accept the differences.

It’s also totally demeaning to the many men who are every bit as functional in the family as the woman of the house. You don’t hear much about that on AIBU for some reason but it does apparently happen.

It's really not funny it's just rubbish that it's true for probably 85 % of households (from my experience)

Men "babysitting" their own children make my teeth itch

Totally agree. The longer people think it's funny the longer society seems it acceptable for men to be useless wastes of space rather than competent husbands and fathers,

I don't think men who can't function as competent adults are interesting, funny or sexually attractive and I'm baffled as to why women marry them.

Deems*

Or they could sometimes be exremely fussy/perfectionist Women and whatever the man does isn't good enough.

I find it pathetic and ridiculous, that men are often excused for infantile behaviour and deliberate incompetence.

My husband pulls his weight, we are equal in our household but its depressing that it still
surprises people that he can cook/ clean/ bath children

Totally agree. The longer people think it's funny the longer society seems it acceptable for men to be useless wastes of space rather than competent husbands and fathers

I don't think men who can't function as competent adults are interesting, funny or sexually attractive and I'm baffled as to why women marry them

EXACTLY this! I couldn't have put it better.

I don't know of one single relationship where the man pulls their own weight. I'm so glad I'm single. Slavery isn't funny.

Rojelio it's the same for me. People make 'jokes' about the fact that he's the tidy one, that he cooks the meals and does most of the cleaning. I'm told I'm lucky. It baffles me that people expect so very little from men.

I have no idea how anyone finds an immature adult attractive enough to shag much less procreate with.

Men "babysitting" their own children make my teeth itch

I know, likewise using “childcare” rather than just parenting.

I don’t find those kind of posts funny. It’s not limited to Facebook though, it’s everywhere. I’ve seem people proclaiming their husband can’t do his job without them etc. I wouldn’t find a man attractive if he was unable to hold down a job or look after a home without a partner personally.

A lot still subscribe to the traditional men work and women don’t which doesn’t help as future generations grow up thinking it’s the norm.

The expectations for men are so low, it's absolutely ridiculous.

It’s unbelievable how low the expectations are for men

Unfortunately, all the time women excuse this behaviour from men and make jokes about it it will continue and a great many of the sons of these families will see it as the norm; and so it goes on.

From talking about this to my daughter I gather it's not unusual in many of their friends' homes that the women do all house and child work and cooking.

I was married - now divorced - to a man who thought his input into family life stopped at the front door; trust me I, at no point found it funny, but perhaps that's because I grew up in a household in which my father was very hands on, and I was born in the late 1940s.

I made damn sure my son wasn't going to be one of those men idle men and that my daughters would expect their partners to be like my own father.

using “childcare” rather than just parenting.
TBF this is what you'd use for e.g. asking for an early work finish time or having to cancel meeting someone. You'd say "because of childcare" not "because of parenting" which you arguably do 24/7.

My husband does the all the washing and all the washing up. My friends are quite envious! The way we see it is we both live here so we share the tasks out equally.

It also means we have downtime together. 😊

It’s just thick people on Facebook really, isn’t it? So many people just aren’t very good at thinking. It’s quite depressing.

I can’t imagine being so desperate to be with a man child. Makes my teeth itch when I read these things and wonder whether my partners in the minority of men who can function as an adult and father.
Pathetic. Not funny in the slightest - just depressing what society will allow and almost applaud