Baby sleepovers

[WispaGoldsshouldcomeinmultipac]

Am I the only one who thinks it's nuts wanting a baby to sleep out at someone else's house, grandparent etc when they're under one year old?

I don't think I'd sleep without DD there now.

Would personally not be my choice as I feel both our parents have done their parenting our children are mine and fiancé's responsibility, I would not want to spend time away from them, and I also remember how upset I got as a young child if my DM was not there so would not want to put my own kids through that until they were emotionally mature enough to understand it's just for a short time etc

I really hate the suggestion that it's acceptable to leave your children of you're working but god forbid you leave them with trusted carers to do something fun
And let's not forget- we only ever judge mum's. Never dads.

I loved having my nieces and nephews as babies and toddlers overnight, and mine would stay with my aunt or mum overnight, I could 100% trust them, as their childcare was how I learnt mine.

@lovepickledlimes
But my mum and aunt would ask to have them.
And I will love having my grand children, I don't feel that 'I've done my bit' to me it's all part of the loving process.

I think some people are getting a strong and secure attachment confused with dependency.

You can forge a strong and secure attachment with your baby/small child without being attached to them 24/7. It is precisely because my child DOES have a strong and secure attachment that he can spend time at nursery, visit relatives and stay overnight at Grandparents. Secure attachment leads to confident and independent children who feel safe. Your child being upset or hysterical at being separated from you (normal phase of separation anxiety aside) is not a sign of you having a strong attachment and is really not nice for your child.

My DS has gone for sleepovers at my parents house since he was 3 months old. They're happy to have him and I'm happy to have a night off once in a while. I know friends with 2/3/4 year olds who have never been away from them overnight. No judgement on either side, different things work for different people.

@MaryShelley1818

Perfectly put.

Being with your child 24-7 does not equate to a strong and stable attachment.

@MaryShelley1818 Yes, this, exactly. Secure attachment is about children feeling able to go off and explore and engage with others and then return to a secure base, safe in the knowledge their carer will be there for them. I see it with my DD when we go to toddler classes - she'll happily take off into the fray without needing me to come with her, but every so often she'll come back to check in with me and then go off again.

Also to the PP who tried to claim it's just because they're soooo attached and soooo bonded x a million.

And I say that as someone who generally is with their child 24/7, but I wouldn't ever presume to think my attachment or bond is stronger than someone else's.

I couldn't have as mine would not take a bottle despite my best attempts to sub in a bedtime bottle after the recommended 6wks!! My MIL offered to take my DD to 'give us a break' - kind offer given she was up eleventy million times a bloody night but I personally didn't want to be apart from my DD at that age even if I could have been.

As long as you are not put under pressure by relatives demanding 'their turn' (which happens and is bang out of order in that instance!) when you're not ready then it's really up to the parents whether they are comfortable or not if they are able to take up such an offer.