Baby sleepovers

[WispaGoldsshouldcomeinmultipac]

Am I the only one who thinks it's nuts wanting a baby to sleep out at someone else's house, grandparent etc when they're under one year old?

I don't think I'd sleep without DD there now.

@aroundtheworldin80moves. Exactly. My daughter was a nurse and went back to work when her baby was 3 months old. All the child minding was done by her and the baby's father plus me and my husband. We all worked different shifts and it meant occasionally baby had to stay overnight in our house. Both mother and baby survived

Absolute judgemental bullshit. Why are you even wasting your time asking this question? And essentially criticising others who seek help. Despite the early years bring “such a short time” I got so little sleep from my first born that he had the occasional sleepover from 16 weeks. It helped me so much.
But honestly, if you’re asking these questions you’ll probably always find a way to judge others.

@ChanklyBore yep the judgement is definitely directed at the mother

Not Going too well for you this thread is it op 😬😳

My mum had my dd overnight once a week from a few weeks old and it saved my sanity. She only lived down the road, but being able to go to bed one night a week and sleep deeply, waking up naturally, was wonderful. I wouldn't have let her go to anyone apart from my mum though.

Why has when other parents leave their children got anything to do with you? For reasons I’m not going into, I had to leave my child at home for 2 nights with their father exactly a week after birth. At the age of 4.5 months they spent their first night at grandparents house. Judge away - I’m sure in your world I’m a terrible parent.

Well DS didn’t sleepover with GP till he was over 2, and they’re very competent. And DD won’t before she’s 1, but maybe will before she’s 2. But then both mine were/are BF at night over the age of one so not really practical. I don’t judge anyone else though, I’m fact I probably envy them a bit!

I trust my parents and my sisters 100%. As do my sisters with me and their children. Some people need a break and others don't. It doesn't make the people who don't need a break a hero. I think if I had waited until mine were older, they would have really struggled being away from me but because they both stayed out from around 3+ months, they're super comfortable. My children are my everything but my life didn't come to a complete halt when I had them. Yes a lot changed but every couple of months it's nice to have the option to do things with friends or for my husband and I to have a night off.

Both my EBF children have stayed (on one occasion each) before 1 with grandparents. I expressed milk and they were eating so was fine.

In my mind, divorce would have a much bigger impact on them, so time spent investing in my marriage with their dad is benefiting them as well. Whilst they are well cared for and building relationship with their grandparents, who live way too far to do short babysitting or regular popping in for tea.

Both of my children didn’t sleep very well as babies, I was constantly shattered and suffering sleep deprivation.
To be lucky enough to have grandparents who enjoyed looking after one or both of my babies overnight occasionally was an absolute godsend and did indeed as thefemalelemur said, save my sanity.
Parents do whatever gets them through,every parent should do what works best for their own family. I was too exhausted at the time to give a rats fiddle what anyone else thought about it!!

Families are all different. We were living with my parents when DD was just under a year and left her for a night for child free wedding. It was normal to her as it was her home. Also worked shifts so knew I’d have to leave her when she got a bit older.

I have "sent" both my babies out from about 3 months for overnight to trusted relatives. Doesn't mean I Love them any less than you. I haven't "sent them away" often, over the years since they were 3 months maybe once every few months. The reasons? Because parents need a break and if it's available why not? I know my children will be loved and looked after. The break does me good and the time with my husband without interruption from the kids does our relationship good. My children are 12 and 8 now and it's definitely done them no harm being "sent away" since they were babies.

My DD stayed with ILs when she was 10 weeks old because we were attending a wedding a couple of hours away. The groom was DPs best friend.

At the time I was breastfeeding- I just expressed plenty of milk and we all survived.

It’s up to you. If you don’t want to, don’t. You’re the parent, it’s your choice. Don’t let anyone tell you you should/you have to/other people do it. Your choice, you don’t need to justify it.

DS slept out the week before his first birthday, it was DH's birthday. We were local and my parents have a very close relationship with him and DM ran a private nursery for 25 years ago not only does she know what she's doing, she's a qualified professional! Other than that I just didn't really want to be apart from him, also I found expressing very difficult it would take days to get enough for one overnight. He's 15 months now and will be sleeping over again soon because we've got an event to go to. Maybe it's harsh but I only ever see it as something necessary rather than just for fun, different when he's older, my DN loves staying with my parents but he's five. He's never stayed with MIL they're nearly two hours away and don't have a cot etc, whereas DM is more local and is fully set up for babies as she used to look after DN at her house two days a week from 6 months to three years.

My mother is a health care professional with lots of experience looking after children and babies. If she offered more I’d be constantly letting my young children stay overnight with her

OP
There may come a time when you look back on this thread and cringe .
When you are desperate for some head space or me time or indeed some sleep, since children’s sleep patterns and behaviour can change.
Hopefully no one will judge you though.

Totally misunderstood the OP... thought it was about baby sleepovers with their friends. Like a ‘sleepover party’ now that WOULD be nuts. But no, seems your just being judgy and our parenting the rest of us 🤷‍♀️ Well done 👏👏👏👏

My dd stayed away from me for the first time over night around 8/12 weeks, can’t remember the exact age. She now at 4 regularly has sleepovers at family houses. My godson first stayed at my house over night around 8 weeks. If you trust the person looking after the baby and their no ebf I see no problem with it.

I think I've worded this wrong and seem to be a bit naive. I'm sorry. It was more a woah, loads of people seem to send their children out to sleep which bemused me because it's something I couldn't do or have seen done in my family until the DC are older. We've stayed in the DCs home with them for parents to go out etc.

Where I live, it seems that it's always mothers leaving babies to go out drinking every night of the weekend that's the norm, I completely hadn't thought about women who work nights. You guys are right it's not my place to judge and no I don't have any one well enough or that I trust enough to have DD for me overnight. Perhaps I'm a bit jealous of people who do but I really wouldn't want to be away from DD yet. I'm sorry for sounding judgemental and for causing any offence.

“Send their babies out” 😐

Leaving the baby with a loving, responsible family member that they are close to is good for my mental health and well-being. My baby didn’t sleep for the 1st 12 months and I couldn’t cope without a break. I was a much better mother after a good night sleep and a lie in.

You do you, but don’t play the martyr. I wasn’t causing emotional trauma by releasing my baby into the wild. It doesn’t make someone a better parent because they can’t bear to leave their baby for a few hours.

I’d love to send my toddler to a relatives for the night, but they probably wouldn’t have him as he doesn’t sleep through the night 😂. I’d probably not be able to sleep without him now as he sleeps in with us and I’m still breasfeeding.

My son slept out from 3 months old. I wanted this to happen early as I knew I would be a) going back to work and b) both of my neices who are now teens won't go anywhere for tea/sleepover/day trips without their parents. They were never left with anyone and as a result wouldn't settle in preschool and both had to be taken out of it. They won't even go to family members Houses for tea. Won't go to bed without both parents being there. As a result, my sibling doesn't do any thing social without the children at all. I was determined that wasn't happening to me.

Fair play to you for coming back to apologise for your judgemental and goady OP and 2nd post.

1st baby left at 2 weeks overnight with mil for mt sister's 30th birthday. I was so anxoous the whole evening. Dont regret it at all.
2nd baby left with my mum at 9 weeks along with toddler dd. Me and dh weng for dinner and drinks. Home for 10pm and had best night sleep in a long time.
Both my mum and mil raised their children just fine. Yes fiest sleepover is full of worry that its easy

My dd has regularly slept at my mums once a month ish since she was 4 months old.

Its nice to have a date night/night out with friends/whatever and not have to deal with baby in the night/next morning.