Two Saturdays ago I tried a Zumba class that I don’t usually go to at my gym. I went again last Saturday. There is a woman who I have found a bit strange and it’s now making me anxious about going tomorrow.
I went in and picked a spot to stand in, as you do... Shirley came over (not sure what her real name is) and started saying to another woman in the class (let’s call her Nisha) indicating towards me “Nisha this looks like your daughter!” and repeated it. Nisha just laughed. I’ve seen Nisha in other classes and don’t think she looks anything like me. We are both brown, possible the only two non-whites in the class.
When the instructor came in she approached me as I was new to her class. Shirley then said to the instructor “It’s Nisha’s daughter!” I said no I’m not her daughter. Shirley repeated “She is shes Nisha’s daughter”. Instructor then said something about having met Nisha’s other daughter. I said no I’m really not... Instructor didn’t know what to say and at some point went to sort music.
I then noticed Shirley was still hovering v close to me and she went on to say how this is where she usually stands so she can see. At one point touching me as if you actually push / place me further away. I said yes I like to be near the front too so I can see how especially as I haven’t been in this class before. She went on (can’t remember what she said) and then said “so shall we just swap places?” I said “can’t I just stay here?” She said yes of course you can... She kept touching me a lot. It was weird. She was sweaty and ive never met her.
One of the other women, who I know from other classes, commented on her being known to be a bit difficult sometimes and said I was right not to move.
Last weekend I went again, stood in a similar place. She was standing right next to me and then told me “you’ll have to move over there as I always stand here”. She wouldn’t move so I ended up moving across and back a bit during the class probably getting in others’ way.
No I’m nervous about going to the class tomorrow. I really enjoyed it and have booked on but how do I deal with this woman if she just stands next to me and doesn’t move. I consider myself somewhat assertive but I also suffer anxiety and have been feeling anxious about this all day.
I get that people gravitate towards certain spaces. I do too. But if someone got there first I wouldn’t dream of trying to move them. If I just stand somewhere else I’d probably be in someone’s preferred spot so why not hers?
I also think the strange comparison of me to the other brown person in the class was weird and possible racist but not sure if I’m being insensitive.