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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think my friend was incredibly unfair?

589 replies

Refreshed · 06/03/2020 20:32

I look after a friend's 2 primary school DC's when they've finished school, every Monday. They often have swimming lessons so I take them to that, whilst I have a short swim with my DS and then get ready to get them.

They are on a small break from it so we did a fun swim instead. Their mum asked me to take them to Pizza Express for dinner. The one she was thinking of is no longer there so I took them to Pizza Hut style place instead.

My own DS was asleep and wasn't having anything. We got a huge pizza with bottomless drinks for all of us. The kids had an ice cream each. This all came to £16 so a fairly good deal. Loads of pizza was left over so I packed it up for the kids.

When we got to their house I handed over the change (the mum had given me £40 for their food). The receipt for it all was coincidentally in there to.

I've just received a text from friend saying ''Hi, was your drink at the pizza place paid for by you? Just wondered as the money was for [NAME REMOVED] and [NAME REMOVED]. The pizza was obviously huge so not bothered at that being shared! "

In truth I didn't pay for my own drunk, no. It was £2.70. Yet I don't charge if I've ever picked something up for the boys quickly. I don't charge for petrol going to and from their school or swimming.

Was I really being that cheeky or is she rude? Blush

[Edited by MNHQ to remove RL names]

OP posts:
Captaindobbin · 06/03/2020 21:04

I wouldn’t mention petrol money. Just ask for her bank details to transfer the £2.70 and make it clear the arrangements now don’t work for you. What a cheeky cow!

iklboo · 06/03/2020 21:05

'Oh, I'm so sorry. It must have slipped my mind to give it you back. I was a bit distracted looking after your kids for free. Send me your bank details and I'll transfer it. Hopefully your next minion won't be so remiss. I'm presuming you've sorted out arrangements for next week as I'll no longer be able to help. I mean, if I forget to pay you £2.70 I might forget one of your children next time'.

InsideIndie · 06/03/2020 21:06

Goodness me reading that made me feel very sad for you.

How awful that she would think badly of you in this situation and query the cost of a drink.

She is incredibly thoughtless and selfish not to mention rude.

You response is perfect and I’m sorry you were treated like this.

Figgygal · 06/03/2020 21:06

Wow what a cheeky sod
She’s taken a lend of you big time

simplekindoflife · 06/03/2020 21:06

Be my friend instead you sound like a really nice person. I'll buy you a wine. X

Grin Ditto! I'd buy you a bottle! You've been an amazing friend!

Candyfloss99 · 06/03/2020 21:06

Please tell us her reply.

Theukisgreatt · 06/03/2020 21:06

Yanbu.

So rude.

LuluJakey1 · 06/03/2020 21:06

I would just text back 'So sorry, please send me your bank details and I will transfer the 2.70 immediately. I do hope you are not thinking I was expecting something for nothing. I always pay my way.
Here are my bank details so you can transfer £15 a week for the last 7 weeks for my time, petrol and the money I have spent looking after your children. Please note I will not be continuing this as of today so you will need to make other arrangements. '

datasgingercatspot · 06/03/2020 21:06

Wouldn't transfer her a fucking bean!

HollyBollyBooBoo · 06/03/2020 21:07

Oh my God you have to ditch her. Absolute cheeky fucker.

Veterinari · 06/03/2020 21:07

Dear cheekycow

Sorry it hadn't occurred to me that you'd mind me using the money to pay for the whole bill as it was a dinner you'd requested I buy and a cost I wouldn't have incurred if I wasn't providing you with very cheap childcare. However I can see that it's a problem for you and I don't want any awkwardness so you should make alternative childcare arrangements for Monday evenings from now on and I'll return the £2.70 to you and continue to be out of pocket for the regular favours I've done for you.

iknowimcoming · 06/03/2020 21:07

I honestly don't know how folk like that sleep at night!

Captaindobbin · 06/03/2020 21:08

It wouldn’t even have to be an arsey message. Just a simple ‘I think it’s clear this arrangement isn’t going to work for us long term’
I’ve never been so annoyed on a strangers behalf before!!

EmmiJay · 06/03/2020 21:08

What HelloDulling said. Yes, WHO will be picking up her kids on Mondays from now on??🤨

MoveOnTheCards · 06/03/2020 21:08

Well done Refreshed!

Modestandatinybitsexy · 06/03/2020 21:09

Well done OP. I hope she sees the error in her ways but please don't cave, if it's not this again it'll be something else and the relationship has changed now.

Orchidflower1 · 06/03/2020 21:10

What was her response @Refreshed ?

LaurieMarlow · 06/03/2020 21:10

Nice one OP

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 06/03/2020 21:11

Q

halfsoaked · 06/03/2020 21:11

Send her a text telling her you are ending the arrangement immediately as it no longer works for you and then block her mobile number.
Inform their school that you are no longer collecting her DCs and make sure you aren't an emergency contact for them.

84TinsOfBeans · 06/03/2020 21:11

Good for you OP. Do you think that's the friendship over?

gottastopeatingchocolate · 06/03/2020 21:12

I feel sad for you, OP, reading this. I can feel how much that hurt.

MarthasGinYard · 06/03/2020 21:12

Another 'Refreshed'

Special thread

Really don't know where you meet all these people Confused

billy1966 · 06/03/2020 21:12

What an amazing lack of self awareness.

I found swimming a right faff.
Such a kind thing to do OP.

She has done you a favour showing you exactly who she is, relatively early in your arrangement.....imagine if you were a year or two down the line.

I wouldn't be discreet with this story either!
Flowers

PatchworkElmer · 06/03/2020 21:12

Well done @Refreshed 👏

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