To think my friend was incredibly unfair?

[Refreshed]

I look after a friend's 2 primary school DC's when they've finished school, every Monday. They often have swimming lessons so I take them to that, whilst I have a short swim with my DS and then get ready to get them.

They are on a small break from it so we did a fun swim instead. Their mum asked me to take them to Pizza Express for dinner. The one she was thinking of is no longer there so I took them to Pizza Hut style place instead.

My own DS was asleep and wasn't having anything. We got a huge pizza with bottomless drinks for all of us. The kids had an ice cream each. This all came to £16 so a fairly good deal. Loads of pizza was left over so I packed it up for the kids.

When we got to their house I handed over the change (the mum had given me £40 for their food). The receipt for it all was coincidentally in there to.

I've just received a text from friend saying ''Hi, was your drink at the pizza place paid for by you? Just wondered as the money was for [NAME REMOVED] and [NAME REMOVED]. The pizza was obviously huge so not bothered at that being shared! "

In truth I didn't pay for my own drunk, no. It was £2.70. Yet I don't charge if I've ever picked something up for the boys quickly. I don't charge for petrol going to and from their school or swimming.

Was I really being that cheeky or is she rude?

[Edited by MNHQ to remove RL names]

Awful woman.

I'm on the fence a bit here.

I agree that the 'friend' is being tight and incredibly cheeky to ask for the money. The payment arrangement for the childminding is woefully I adequate and the OP has been underpaid during this arrange. Were I the mum of the boys I would never in a million years have sent that text.

That said, I would not have bought my drink from the same money. I would have viewed the £40 as the children's money, provided by their parent, for their use and I wouldn't have felt comfortable spending any of it on myself unless the mother has specifically stated that I should. In that sense, I think Cohle is correct.

I would say yes and see what she says. If she gets funny explain why she is a CF and stop picking up her kids. She is not your friend.

Why are u looking after her kids every Monday for free and taking them swimming?! That's surely £10 an hour etc

'The OP by her very actions is clearly NOT a cf, nor is she someone who is out to rip anyone off! Like a hell of a lot of people on here, I think that our OP has gone out of her way to help this woman out with childcare and consider her an absolute legend!'

You don't know the OP from Adam do you?

An absolute legend... Calm down, dear!

@skinrash, I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with you!

Baxter I think you might be getting a little over invested in this

Personally I think making sweeping assessments of posters' characters, either positively or negatively, based on a few posts on one specific issue is a little odd. I won't however advise you to "explore self help" because that would be bloody rude.

'Baxter I think you might be getting a little over invested in this'

Hhhmmm just a tinsy bit

CF.
Just cos you take your kid swimming doesn't mean she has a free-for-all for hers to tag along.

Charge her by the hour. Including Petrol.

It's International Women's Day.

When are we as powerful women going to be POWERFUL, Instead of wimps ..

It'a only up to us as an individual....

Shes been taken advantage of you and her asking for the cost of a drink shows this, I'd she was a real friend she would not care If you got a drink with the money she gave you.

YANBU

Sounds like crossed wires between a kind OP and her extremely tight friend
both assuming different things because they have such different outlooks:

imo, the OP didn't decide to "help herself" but automatically assumed that the money covered her meal too at the restaurant,
because such places don't really like one adult sitting there without eating or drinking.

Being a generous person, it never occurred to her that the money was exclusively intended for the friend's kids

The friend expected that the OP would buy her own pizza - her remark was pretty grudging about that ! -
and her own drink
all for the joy of taking out someone's else's kids

since she is such a tight CF

It's not "payback" for all the favours the OP did

That misunderstanding could just as easily have happened if this was the first time the OP had ever helped the friend.

It is the social norm that money to take out kids for a meal includes that of the person taking them.
Hence hardly anyone would think to ask in advance

Glad you told her to do one 🌺

Only here to find out what CF reply was erm unless I’ve missed after it trawling through all 😙21 pages x

My god she is so rude and stingy and she is your friend , my mouth is still open 😦

Wow! That's really CF of her to expect so much from you then throw the cost of a drink back at you
Glad you've put your foot down now she can find some other mug to palm her kids off onto

One thing doesn’t make sense to me. I can understand watching a friend’s children as a favor for free, or doing it for payment. But I cannot fathom why anyone would do this for £2.50 a week.

How on earth did you settle on that amount without telling her not to bother? It seems very insulting to be offered an amount that barely buys a cup of coffee.

And how does she pay you? A tenner once a month?

@Refreshed come on the CF must have replied. Please update.

I'd definately want to have it out with her too, or forever feel like a mug!

What a nerve..

Rise above it as your kids are classmates. No point fuelling the drama.

Pay the £2.70.

Obviously you are now busy this Monday, next Monday; and any other future day she asks you to take her kids...

Rise above it as your kids are classmates. No point fuelling the drama.

No they're not.