To think my friend was incredibly unfair?

[Refreshed]

I look after a friend's 2 primary school DC's when they've finished school, every Monday. They often have swimming lessons so I take them to that, whilst I have a short swim with my DS and then get ready to get them.

They are on a small break from it so we did a fun swim instead. Their mum asked me to take them to Pizza Express for dinner. The one she was thinking of is no longer there so I took them to Pizza Hut style place instead.

My own DS was asleep and wasn't having anything. We got a huge pizza with bottomless drinks for all of us. The kids had an ice cream each. This all came to £16 so a fairly good deal. Loads of pizza was left over so I packed it up for the kids.

When we got to their house I handed over the change (the mum had given me £40 for their food). The receipt for it all was coincidentally in there to.

I've just received a text from friend saying ''Hi, was your drink at the pizza place paid for by you? Just wondered as the money was for [NAME REMOVED] and [NAME REMOVED]. The pizza was obviously huge so not bothered at that being shared! "

In truth I didn't pay for my own drunk, no. It was £2.70. Yet I don't charge if I've ever picked something up for the boys quickly. I don't charge for petrol going to and from their school or swimming.

Was I really being that cheeky or is she rude?

[Edited by MNHQ to remove RL names]

What happened to the just be kind campaign

Indeed- and the OP has been very very kind looking after pizza bitches kids for virtually nothing for weeks and weeks. She’s doing her a huge favour and has been very kind. The only unkindness I see here is from pizza bitch

What happened to the just be kind campaign

People quickly saw through it for the sanctimonious, hypocritical, look-at-me rubbish it really was?

Wondering what her reply will be...

For reference OP I pay a friend’s daughter to collect my two children (9 & 5) from school once a week, she will walk them home and watch them for 2hrs 15mins. We pay her £20 a time, so 60-80 per month.

Your friend seems to think she is paying enough for a nanny/au pair.

It is such a shame when you read about friendships ending due to one persons pettiness.

Just out of interest, if you had gone to Pizza Express and got yourself a pizza and drink too, probably in the region of £12-15 - would you have paid for it or took it out of the £40?

Your "friend" is a user, she knows she has messed up and is probably kicking herself for moaning about £2.70, stand your ground Op she was taking you for a mug

Send her a bill for 6 x 3 hours of childcare + VAT.

@Cohle when one is in a carer position either minding children or adults, when there is an activity out it is only courteous of the client to pay for door charges, parking, activity charges and provide a drink or a meal if the activity includes a meal as

1. Noone should be dipping into their personal funds to facilitate their job
2. If the OP cannot or will not pay for it, quite simply the activity does not proceed.

If my nanny takes the children out, I buy her a meal. Taking the piss on her part would be spending a large amount of money or ordering multiple drinks and meals just because she can. But she wouldn't do that and I in turn do not scrutinise and nitpick over every silly amount.

OP is doing this woman a massive favour. To begrudge her £2.70 for a drink is beyond CFery. She will learn when she has to pay the going rate for childcare how fortunate she was.

She is most definitely NOT your friend. She is a horrendously cheeky b!tch who is taking advantage of your good nature. Tell her to f*ck off & pay someone else the going rate to look after her children from now on! You & your son can swim whenever you like. How outrageously rude!!!!

Pizza Cunt more like what a cheeky fucking bastard!!!!!

I just can't believe she begrudged you a fucking drink!

Has she replied, @Refreshed

YANBU. She's no friend. She will be lucky to get childcare like that for £10 a week never mind a month.

Pizza bitch screwed you over. Go to hell pizza whore.

Just me

So, cohle if a babysitter is in your home you’ll provide a drink but not if they are minding your kids elsewhere despite only being there at your request?

I agree with you bluebell, but in circumstances when the client hasn't been courteous I don't think the best response is to spend their money on yourself anyway, without their consent.

If OP was unhappy taking the kids for dinner without having a kitty for herself she could have refused or clarified the issue in advance.

If a friend trusted me with money for a specific purpose it just really wouldn't occur to me to spend it on myself without their permission. That's all. I don't think it's tight to expect honesty in your financial dealings with friends.

As entertaining a Daily Mail article as it would make, no I'm not the friend in question

What a CF she is.

Blatant and unashamed placemarking.

So, cohle if a babysitter is in your home you’ll provide a drink but not if they are minding your kids elsewhere despite only being there at your request?

I can't really imagine insisting a friend should take my kids to a specific restaurant, but in those circumstances of course I'd tell them to get themselves dinner too.

The point is OP's friend didn't. And however discourteous that may have been, I just don't think the best response was assuming you could spend their money on yourself anyway. Because as OP has found out, that assumption may not be correct.

Tell her you're no longer available on Mondays or any day for that matter.

You would honestly begrudge £2.70 to someone who looks after your children and takes them to activities for you every single week? Bloody hell.

@Refreshed please come back and tell us a bit more about this woman.

Has she responded at all?

@Cohle I know you think you're being all honourable, but really this is not a client.
This was a friend lording it over another friend. She asked her to take her boys to pizza place for tea. On friends time.
Friends baby was sleeping. £40 would more than cover it, £16 bill was the entire total!

If op had tipped the waiting staff would Lordy cf friend expect that to come out of ops own pocket too?

Some people truly astound me with their very black and white thinking, geez.

Op, you'll be glad this happened as you now see this was never a friend, she's a mean person who doesn't have your interests at heart at all.

What a cheek. I'd give her the £2.50 and say well tbh I didn't think it was a problem since I spend money out of my own pocket on treats, film nights, petrol etc which £10 a month doesn't cover.
If you don't want to do that then simply give her the money and say 'sorry I don't think I'll be able to do the Monday pick up from now on, I have other family arrangements that I need to deal with'.

Your pregnant aren't you so probably can't keep having her kids anyway.

I think the assumption was there because there’s no way a decent person would expect an effectively free carer for their children to bring or pay for their own drink in their own home and a restaurant you’ve made someone go to is the same category.

I think the woman is annoyed because it will have been one of those refills and she’d have expected OP to have a sip of the kids refills instead of buying one for herself. She probably thinks you LOVE having her children for free and eating their leftovers.

@LaurieMarlow
Pizza bitch screwed you over. Go to hell pizza whore.
I can sing this in my head but can't for the life of me remember what it's from! Please help

Don't say sorry, in any way shape or form!!

All you need to say is you will leave her to sort her boys out herself and that your disgusted at her treatment of you.