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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think my friend was incredibly unfair?

589 replies

Refreshed · 06/03/2020 20:32

I look after a friend's 2 primary school DC's when they've finished school, every Monday. They often have swimming lessons so I take them to that, whilst I have a short swim with my DS and then get ready to get them.

They are on a small break from it so we did a fun swim instead. Their mum asked me to take them to Pizza Express for dinner. The one she was thinking of is no longer there so I took them to Pizza Hut style place instead.

My own DS was asleep and wasn't having anything. We got a huge pizza with bottomless drinks for all of us. The kids had an ice cream each. This all came to £16 so a fairly good deal. Loads of pizza was left over so I packed it up for the kids.

When we got to their house I handed over the change (the mum had given me £40 for their food). The receipt for it all was coincidentally in there to.

I've just received a text from friend saying ''Hi, was your drink at the pizza place paid for by you? Just wondered as the money was for [NAME REMOVED] and [NAME REMOVED]. The pizza was obviously huge so not bothered at that being shared! "

In truth I didn't pay for my own drunk, no. It was £2.70. Yet I don't charge if I've ever picked something up for the boys quickly. I don't charge for petrol going to and from their school or swimming.

Was I really being that cheeky or is she rude? Blush

[Edited by MNHQ to remove RL names]

OP posts:
maddening · 07/03/2020 00:23

OMG hope she realises what a dick she has been!

sunshineandlollypops · 07/03/2020 00:31

Unbelievable 🤭

LaurieFairyCake · 07/03/2020 00:32

There literally isn't a reasonable response

Be very surprised if she responds

Cheekyfuckerslastnerve · 07/03/2020 00:33

Unfair? Yabu to use that word to describe her. She's an unimaginable dickhead. 8 hate tightness.

Cheekyfuckerslastnerve · 07/03/2020 00:33

I hate

Isla727 · 07/03/2020 00:37

You're paid £2.50 each week for hours of childcare? She sounds awful.

Cohle · 07/03/2020 00:38

I'm surprised this has been so unanimous to be honest, I think OP was a bit cheeky.

The money was for her kids meal and you spent some of it on yourself without her permission. If you were unhappy about how much she was paying you for childcare you should have raised it with her, not viewed yourself as entitled to her money and effectively fiddled your expenses.

I mean obviously the friend was tight to bring it up, but morally I'd be a bit Hmm about OP's behaviour.

LucieLucie · 07/03/2020 00:41

It's unbelievable how little people like this value their childcare. She is a rude, mean spirited tight fisted unappreciative cowbag!!

She must think so little of you and your time to grudge paying £2.70 for your drink while you do her a favour!

Wow, who is she?!!

Prepare yourself to be made out to be the enemy now. No good deed goes unpunished.

I hope she sees this thread and recognises herself. Shameful.

itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 07/03/2020 00:43

@Cohle you'd be morally Hmmat a friend buying herself 1 drink after she has bent over backwards for you for weeks?! Seriously. You're admitting to being that kind of person?!

Goodgollymiss · 07/03/2020 00:43

Is that you cf? Hmm @cohle

SisterAgatha · 07/03/2020 00:44

But OP may never have set foot in a pizza restaurant had she not taken the kids there at stingy friends request. If I’m asking a friend to take my kids out for dinner for me, I’d at least allow the friend a drink and not be surprised if she bought one on me. The friend asked her/made her go to dinner.

Cheekyfuckerslastnerve · 07/03/2020 00:45

chole are you the friend?! ArfGrin
You don't treat someone doing you a favour like the hired help. It's a drink fgs

LucieLucie · 07/03/2020 00:50

@Cohle you say if she's not happy at what she's being paid for childcare??!!! She isn't!!! She loosely is given just £10...per Month!!!!!! Shock

Childcare for two kids after school is an average of £20 each for a session! Not to mention being taken to activities, the responsibility of all that plus being asked to take them for their tea!!

That's ALL on op's time! £10 a month is a bloody insult and to have the audacity to begrudge the woman a drink just beggars belief!

I'm grateful I'm not entitled or mean, it's a thoroughly unattractive way to be.

SisterAgatha · 07/03/2020 00:52

You must take my children to pizza and consume only tap water on my bill. You may eat their discarded crusts and the partially chewed mushrooms they spit out. You want a coffee? Get the fuck out.

KatnissMellark · 07/03/2020 00:54

Shock omg OP. Think your friend has found the thread- 1% think YABU

Cohle · 07/03/2020 00:56

I appreciate I'm clearly in the minority on this one, and that obviously the sum of money involved means that the friend was petty to bring it up.

But if a friend gave me money for her kids, it just wouldn't occur to me to spend it on myself.

I think the issue of whether the friend is taking the piss with childcare arrangements is a separate issue. If you knowingly agree to do someone a favour for little or no remuneration, that doesn't somehow entitle you to pilfer petty sums of cash from them.

itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 07/03/2020 00:58

Yes. It really really does.
She was absolutely in the right over getting herself 1 soft drink.

The friend is a bitch who's managed to screw herself over because she didn't realise the difference between a friend and an employee.

weeklycubrun · 07/03/2020 01:01

Hi CF,
I'll drop your money round later this weekend. I would hate you to think I'm taking advantage of you. Sorry.
I do however, after your text, now feel you've taken advantage of me this last 6/7 weeks. To be honest there has been a reasonable expense occurred on my behalf looking after your dc recently, much more than the £2.50 per week you have offered, such as petrol, movie night etc. Anyway, on reflection this arrangement is clearly not going to work any more.

Goodgollymiss · 07/03/2020 01:02

Actually I think it does entitle you to a soft drink Confused

Cheekyfuckerslastnerve · 07/03/2020 01:03

She didn't pilfer it, she showed her a receipt. I see what your saying but it's the amount that makes this an exception. It's so very petty as the op is a friend too. My friends can have the shirt off my back if they want, I couldn't begrudge them a drink.

SisterAgatha · 07/03/2020 01:03

I agree if this was a business arrangement. But this is a friend taking your children to dinner, looking after them, ferrying them around. It’s not the same as having your hand in the petty cash. OP didn’t even need to be in Pizza Hut, she could have been at home having her own drink for free.

morriseysquif · 07/03/2020 01:03

@ cohle being the 1% Wink

CFery !

SisterAgatha · 07/03/2020 01:06

Also, just thinking, would you expect a babysitter to bring her own drink or pay you for the squash she uses at your house?

GlamGiraffe · 07/03/2020 01:16

@Refreshed
You must post an update as soon as she replies

I bet she'll say she didnt mean it like that and of course she doesnt mind you having a drink, she just wondered if the bill was right and how her kids love you blah blah blah, as panic sets in!!

morriseysquif · 07/03/2020 01:17

@cohle

Only a petty grinch would say of OP they were guilty of

"pilfer petty sums of cash from them'