to not see the point in getting married?

[MasterMargarita]

The situation is that we are financially independent from each other, will not be having any children (actually unable), are not home owners and most likely never will be, no savings, basically nothing to divide in the event of separation. Both late 30s with a child each from previous relationship, both work FT with approx equal salaries.

Am I right in thinking that marriage will not be benefiting either of us under these circumstances? Very happy to be told otherwise.

For context, my DP has very romantic view of marriage and wants to be married whilst I see it as nothing more than a legally binding contract to share assets which is unnecessary in our case, in my opinion.

What about if one of you gets seriously ill? You wouldn't be next of kin.

If you got seriously ill who would you want to be involved and making the decisions about your care?

YABU. It’s not just about finances. If one of you is seriously ill I’m sure the other will want to be there and make decisions; if you’re not married you won’t be allowed.

In your situation i wouldn’t see the point either.

I got married because I knew I wanted to spend forever with my husband, have a family and share my whole life with him. He felt the same. But this is just what marriage means to us personally.

If you just see it as a contract (completely fair enough everyone has different views) it may not be worth it to you, and that's fine! If we all thought the same it would be very boring.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/15/bereaved-families-denied-benefit-despite-supreme-court-ruling

I would based on what pps have said about one of you getting ill. The thing is is marriage is about being legally bound together. That means for everything not just finances and children. If you were to get married it doesnt have to be a big deal though. In your situation, if you're only to do it for legal purposes just go down the registry office

I agree with others about the next of kin situation. My DH was seriously ill last year and had I not been able to be involved in decisions regarding his treatment/care it would have made a already horrific situation a lot worse.

If you want to keep finances separate, then probably no need. An exceptional case I thought of when l read your question was the author of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. He died suddenly and his partner got nothing from the sales of the books as they were not married. She had supported his writing for decades and the millions went to his father and brother who shut her out. Marriage is not actually romantic in the long term.

Honestly, if you don't really care one way or another but your partner does then why not get married because you love them and want to make them happy. Sometimes it can be worth it just because you love the other person, no other reason needed.

I kind of agree there's no 'point' but isn't it just nice to solidify your relationship. if you see it as just paperwork, then just do the bloody paperwork, you don't need to make it romantic if you don't want to.

Yeah, like PP have said, I'd be concerned about decision-making if one of you got ill.

A pair of family friends got married purely because the man was dying. He needed her to be able to make choices on his behalf. When he died, she was able to file his death certificate, close his bank accounts, deal with all the paperwork etc. If they hadn't have got married, it would have fallen to his next of kin, their daughter, who was only just 18.

Its not nice to think about, but it is important. Being married may not benefit you while you're both fit and well, but if one of you gets sick or dies, that piece of paper will make everything much, much easier during a very traumatic time.

I could never see them point of it and have never wanted to, however, I would happily marry my partner of Over a year purely because I love him and love the idea of making that commitment to him.
I never felt that way about anyone before , including about the father of my numerous dc!
This is a real turn about for me and I am surprised by how I feel.

Very good point about being next of kin, thank you.

@WonkyGenes I also know I want to spent the rest of my life with my DP

Do what my aunt did. Nip down registry office while kids were at school then slung certificate in the draw. No one realised they were married until years later

Why do you assume your financial situation will never change? Just because you can never see yourselves as being homeowners it having savings now, why have you resigned yourselves to that always being the case? Have you no drive to change that?
The same with children. You may change your minds one day and pursue parenting through other avenues than biology.
You are being very narrow-minded to think you will be spending the rest of your lives in your current situation.

You could have a civil partnership rather than a wedding?

Do or don't do whatever you like, but do your legal due diligence. It is really, really important that you don't make this decision from a position of ignorance. There are huge implications on both sides, so finding out the facts is very important.

@MrsPeacockDidIt that's what I am beginning to think. Doesn't matter to me either way but would make a real difference to my DP.

@hannah1992 absolutely, I wouldn't want to make a big deal out of it although I suspect my DP would

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow thank you, very good point re what happens in the event of death

Getting married because you love each other and it is a wonderful commitment to each other was my main reason.

@endofthelinefinally I'd like to think that posting here for opinions and facts is a sure way to not be making a decision from a position of ignorance

I've read all the threads that have recently been going about marriage so am aware of most practicalities but wanted to ask for advice specific to my situation.

No, no, sorry, you have misunderstood me.
I meant proper legal advice via CAB or similar.
MN is great, but I have seen so much wrong advice around this subject and seen some terribly sad and heartbreaking threads too.

@endofthelinefinally thank you, I did misunderstand you

The term usually means your nearest blood relative. In the case of a married couple or a civil partnership it usually means their husband or wife. Next of kin is a title that can be given, by you, to anyone from your partner to blood relatives and even friends.

So it's not true that you can't be his or him be your next of kin. It's whoever you want it to be!

A divorced friend of ours died young from cancer last year.
His carer, who was being paid by his family, arranged a wedding to take place the day before he died.
He had made a will leaving his estate to his children only a few days earlier. This will, of course, was immediately null and void, the carer got everything and wouldn't even allow his family into his property to collect his personal effects.
It was a massive safeguarding issue and resulted in a long, expensive court case. Very stressful for his family.
Just one example where the laws around marriage can have bad outcomes.