to not see the point in getting married?

[MasterMargarita]

The situation is that we are financially independent from each other, will not be having any children (actually unable), are not home owners and most likely never will be, no savings, basically nothing to divide in the event of separation. Both late 30s with a child each from previous relationship, both work FT with approx equal salaries.

Am I right in thinking that marriage will not be benefiting either of us under these circumstances? Very happy to be told otherwise.

For context, my DP has very romantic view of marriage and wants to be married whilst I see it as nothing more than a legally binding contract to share assets which is unnecessary in our case, in my opinion.

@DrCoconut you are so right! Asset-stripping is what it is.

so in my will I could insist my child stays with DP in the event of my death even though the other bio parent has full parental responsibility?

No. You absolutely cannot will your child.

You can note in your will your preference and your reasons for that and that can by used by that person as part of any court case for residency, but you cannot will a child. Especially away from someone with PR.

.Gov.uk table on marriage and CP rights: www.gov.uk/government/publications/marriage-and-civil-partnership-in-england-and-wales

My brother has been in a relationship with my "sister-in-law" for nearly 17 years My SiL was married before, and has no plans to marry again. They have been through a lot together and are happy as they are. My brother and his DP have made legal arrangements for their kids and joint assets. The only thing that is missing is other legal rights such as Widows Pensions etc. and the NOK thing. I hope they get a CP one day...

Drcoconut - it has always then thus. The higher earner usually always loses out. Up until recently it was only men moaning about being screwed over. Nowadays its both sex’s

Sorry! @MasterMargarita . I misread your OP!

I guess another thing to think about (since you live together) is whether or not you'd be able to maintain your home and your current lifestyle (or close to it) if your DP were to pre-decease you and how marriage might change things. Whether that's enough reason to marry or not is your decision. It may be that you wouldn't mind having to move. It may be that if survivor's benefits enable to stay where you are it's worth marrying.

My primary concern would be protecting my children's inheritance be it £1million or £1. And seeing that any 'worldly possessions' went to them as I would wish. For those reasons alone, if you are seriously considering marriage, it would be wise to see a solicitor. Even if you think you 'have nothing' you might be surprised at what you actually do have and how marriage may affect your children. I know pre-nups aren't enforceable in the UK and I don't know whether or not a person can 'will away' a legal spouse's rights to inheritance. These are questions you need answers to.

Re equality, I suppose speaking in general about the "traditional" scenario, the wife in a divorce got assets from her husband as she had not worked and was caring for the children. A sort of compensation for not being able to self support. The husband would by and large be a hands off dad anyway (again I'm generalising about the underlying social assumptions in the past) so having the kids at the weekend and buying their school shoes worked. Now mums can be expected to have sole responsibility for their children, earn a living (see universal credit expectations) and pay out to their ex who is living responsibility free and perfectly capable of working. I think this is really different. Mums in this scenario should get 50:50 as an absolute minimum. Probably more. (Or dads if the roles are reversed for whatever reason, I've used mums as women make up the majority of people in this situation from what I can tell).

OP, well meaning comments on MN are no substitute for proper legal advice. I don't think you've even said which country you live in, and the laws vary from one country to the next

And people mean well, but don't always know the legal position. Where I live, it's a common misconception that being married confers lots of powers as next of kin

@justmyview I am in England. The comments on this thread have given me plenty to think about. At least now I know what I need to look into