First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

I hate dogs and would cancel if you're not a dog person. Very rude to just assume you're fine with it.

But a lot of dog lovers dont seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs...

I’m seriously thinking about it! What to call it ??

It wouldn't like it. I don't mind dogs, but I'm not a superfan, and would not be impressed if a guy brought his dog on a first date unless the date was a long country walk rather than a pub lunch.

I think people get a bit blinded by the love they have for their dogs and don't realise that not everyone likes dogs, or wants to stroke a dog or have it jump up at them, put muddy paws on their clothes, etc.

I didn’t take my dog on my first date with DH... but he came on our second one And plenty of subsequent ones too!

If DH hadn’t been up for becoming a dog owner then we wouldn’t have been right for one another. As it was, he graduated to being a dog sitter within a few months - a high honour indeed.

Thanks IntermittentParps. They're great.

Honestly, it's this kind of anthropomorphising nonsense that makes people who don't have pets wonder about the mentality of those who do. And I say that as an animal lover.

Horses have evolved as herd animals and as prey. They are incredibly good at reading the smallest of signals in a group. Those signs have to be subtle as they don't want to alert predators to their presence and they have to be quick at reading them. We have then spent some 6000 years domesticating horses and choosing to breed from those that most like humans (by and large). There is a considerable amount of scientific research that demonstrates that horses can understand and remember human emotions. They can also point and do make efforts to point things out to us. That's not me anthropomorphising, there is science behind it thehorse.com/17891/study-confirms-horses-talk-to-human-handlers/

One of my horses is very quick to pick up on any aggression. She hates it. All those little signs that humans miss she reads straight away, for good reason. Horses avoid predatory behaviour in all its forms. So it was important to me that she was relaxed with my OH because she can read very small signals that I might miss, or be inclined to overlook because I was blinded by other things. You might think it's nuts. To me it was just sensible.

I'd cancel. If you find it presumptuous on his part you both aren't compatible....set him free to find a dog loving woman. Lots will happily have lunch with him and the pooch.

OP do you like dogs? The dog will probably wander around the pub saying hello to people and getting made a fuss of.

I'm imagining a crackling fire, old fashioned pub, lovely home cooked meal now...

I’m definitely not a doggy person (or smoker) so either would make it a non starter for me.

Plenty more fish in the sea...

I'd see it as his way of saying 'no sex on this first date'!!

So it's not Tinder then?

My dog did not come on my first date, but I made it quite clear that my dog was a huge part of my life and the the weekends would be out in all weather walking the dog on the beach. Luckily my OH was open to this, I could not be with someone that would not interact with this aspect of my life.

It does not make me right, it just means that for us to be compatible, this needs to be made clear from the start. The same way I would not be compatible with someone that went out every Saturday to get smashed.

It is horses for courses. My dog has got me through death, tragedy and divorce, so I am a little bias.

See how it goes OP, if it doesn't feel right then you can go your separate ways.

I think if the dog is an integral part of his lifestyle, he is being upfront about taking his dog out and about. If that is not something you'd like to be part of, maybe opt out of a relationship with him.
Greyhounds are anything but boring, they are very elegant and friendly.

It's rude not to say 'I'd like to bring my dog for lunch -- is that OK with you?' It's rude not to ask in advance, rather than let the information leak out casually after the OP had agreed to the date.

No, it's really not, because the OP has a voice and she could say if she's not comfortable with his dog being there.

It's like saying 'we'll go to a pub' and the other person can say, 'actually, I'd rather not go to a pub.'

It's not rude if he lives his life taking his dog to places like a pub, it's probably second nature that he would bring the dog, wouldn't even think it could be rude.

After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

Of course you can. And you should. If it's any consolation, I'm middle aged and ripped to fucking shreds: I have no success at all with online dating: nil, nada, zilch. It's nowt to do with your weight. You're probably lovely, whereas I'm a grade A Pain in the Arse

Enjoy your date and let us know how it goes

I'm sure both the OP and you are fine NiceLegs, don't put yourselves down!

Ok latest update.
I asked him if he would consider meeting without the dog this first time but emphasised that I would like to meet him if we get on going forwards.
He has replied to say that the dog will be in the car which sounds very fair to me. If we get on, after we've eaten, I can then meet the dog.
I'm glad I spoke up.
And to the poster who said I'm uptight - I don't think that's fair. I'm entitled to feel I'd like to be asked about something like bringing a dog to a first date.

I would be encouraged by this.

I would love it,but then I love animals.
Animals are good at judging people.
If the dog don’t like you,he won’t like you.

I think it's odd not to ask if you're ok with his dog coming along as, just as he is allergic to cats, you could be allergic to dogs. Or you could have a fear of them, as many people do. I do actually think it's inconsiderate to simply tell you the dog is coming and not check that you're ok with that.

X post OP.

I agree with the poster saying you’re uptight.

Is his dog a Beagle by any chance?

Glad it's sorted OP. Hope you get on well!

Bring wellies and a change of trousers!

OP, you can be as 'uptight' and picky as you like. You don't have to hide who you are or accept someone you're not truly compatible with.

I think its manners to ask.

I'm also not a fan of dogs in eating areas!

Oh, that was a good response from him then - he’s obviously not taken umbrage.
Have a lovely date OP!