First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

It would not bother me. I love dogs and we bring our dogs everywhere with us, they don't like being left. Also we only go on holiday in England so dogs can come with us.
I suppose it depends how you are and what you are prepared to tolerate. X

So he's still bringing it, then.

Well, if I were on the market, this would be the man for me!!

Forget sports cars, a big wad (or big anything else) - a nice canine companion would be the magnet that pulled me in.

Obviously if someone has a vicious pit bull, then perhaps not so much, but by and large anyone who cares for a pet gets a light still on from me.

My idea of a perfect date 🥰

So he's still bringing it, then.

It's up to him how he lives his life. If he wants to take his dog for a nice walk afterwards, that's his life.

You don't know people. He may be anxious and want to have something like a nice walk with his dog planned for afterwards. It might be an area he'd love to explore with his dog. Or the dog may not be great at being left alone at home.

Jees, it's his dog, it's clearly always going to be a big part of his life!

@EscapingSoon - If you know you know!

Beagles are a special breed to say the least!

The poster was right upthread: a doggy dating site would be excellent (maybe some adjustment to name needed though...).

It's clear that some people like dogs, some don't. I know I am incompatible with a person who doesn't like animals. They don't have to be soppy about them or even own one, but a person who thinks they are dirty or inconvenient is just not someone I could see myself sharing any time with.

It would be a no from me. If you had arranged a dog walk or something I could see it. But people who can't spend one second away from their dogs are annoying to me. Saying this as a dog owner.

I am open to suggestions and advice but I am hurt to be called uptight.
Just as he has the right to bring his dog, he might be anxious whatever etc what about how I feel? Maybe I get anxious around dogs?
Maybe I would like to be asked how I feel first rather than it being presumed it'll be ok.
As it happens, it is ok as the dog will be in the car and we will hopefully have a lovely time.

Beagles are lovely too.

If you are discussing the ddog over lunch, make sure you say he or she or Fido - not it.

How is this even weird? I would absolutely love this. The distraction of the dog at the start might just break the ice.

I'd be delighted. I wish I had a dog. But you do realise this is to check out if dog likes you? If not, there'll be no second date .

I actually think it's a good idea, after all if you don't like dogs then the relationship will go nowhere, might as well sort it out from the get go.

So the compromise is he is still bringing the dog, except now the dog is going to be cooped up in the car?

They'll be no second date....anyone who loves their dog enough to bring him along and send photos was hoping you'd be a dog lover too.

But him mentioning he would bring it is asking you, because then you could say yes that sounds great, or no, I'd rather not be with your dog.

It's a dog. You like them, you don't, you're scared or you're not, and I suppose a big thing of it is how you get on with dogs if his dog is with him most of the time and the kind of dates he goes on include the dog and dog walks.

I took my (mental chihuahua) on the first date with my now boyfriend. Oops! Funnily enough, another guy I met gave an impassioned speech about how he knew she was part of the deal and we were a unit

Well done for speaking up. I found my dog to be a bit of an ice breaker and actually made things less awkward. The first time I brought him home she pooped and walked through it then trekked it over his chest though

It's up to him how he lives his life

Of course it is!
I was just saying: so he's still bringing it, then. Obviously he's banking on the OP saying that the dog can't be expected to stay in the car the duration of the date anyway as it wouldn't be fair on it. Or he will be rushing through the date to check on the dog/take it for a wee/get back to it.
I wonder if he takes the dog to work with him.

Aint impressed with shutting the dog in the car - whats the point? Leave the dog in the comfort of his bed and water bowl at home.

Err, so he’s just leaving the dog alone in his car during your date? Odd. Wouldn’t it be safer for the dog to be at home or with someone else?

I think this really boils down to how well behaved and how well groomed it is. Frankly some owners are blind to the pungent odours emitting from their dogs. You shouldn’t be able to smell his dog, especially over dinner.

Sorry op I do think you need to just chill out, there was no need for this even to be an issue. If you don’t want dates with dogs just don’t date dog owners.

I sometimes take ddog to work with me, if he's going to be home alone for too long. Sometimes he is with us and has to stay in the car.

I am open to suggestions and advice but I am hurt to be called uptight.

Don't worry about other people's opinions though OP. They're just that, opinions. You can dismiss stuff you don't agree with.

Some posters are stating that if a person has a dog, they "must be a good person". Obviously that's not always true or realistic. Hitler had a dog and I doubt anyone thinks he was a good person at heart but misunderstood! There are people out there who own dogs who are bloody awful, and you can't tell which they are just from their bringing theirs with them when they're going out somewhere.

Personally I would have preferred for him to have run it past me, and openly said "Is it OK with you if I bring my dog?" It's not the most considerate to just assume that it will be fine.

Avoiding saying I would give him a swerve because of the disliking cats thing

I’m not sure I see this working out tbh.
As a PP said, dogs are polarising.
Non doggy people often aren’t a good match for doggy people.
Especially if the doggy person is the obsessive ‘fur baby’ surrogate child type who talks about their dog all the time, posts photos, takes them out everywhere which it sounds like this man might be.

I’m not sure why you expect some sort of odd back-and-forth I gotta compromise pre-date, OP. The man is literally telling you who he is. This is a good thing! You then get to decide if who gets us works for you. By not asking you if you’re okay with DDog being there, but telling you he’s bringing him/her, he’s telling you loud and clear something very important about yourself.

In turn, you’ve replied with something very important about you. How he sees that is the next ‘play’, so to speak.

It’s not about compromise at this stage, it’s compatibility.

When I met my OH, while my pup didn’t come in the date (the date wasn’t suitable), I made it perfectly clear if the pup was an issue then we wouldn’t work out. Pup was family, and pup comes first. That was the baseline I was starting from. As it turned out, OH adores dogs, endured weeks of said pup inserting himself between us to tell OH his place, and now we’ve been married a couple of years. Said dog is currently pressed up against OH’s side with a blissed out look on his face. 🥰

IMO if you’ve having to post an AIBU about a bloke you’ve not even met then he’s not the one for you!

I would absolutely love it if someone I had met was bringing his dog - but then I love dogs. As other people have said, if you're not a real dog lover, you may be better off just not dating dog owners, and if you think you really don't want to be in a relationship with a dog around, you need to be honest about that upfront. I wasted months with my last ex, who basically lied about how much he loved dogs etc but then couldn't cope with the dog sleeping on my bed every night or with the fact that the dog needed walking every day (erm, yes they don't walk themselves...)- rather hilariously told me at one point that 'I don't want my life to be dominated by pets' . Needless to say, once the truth came out, he got the boot and all my dog-loving friends thought he'd been a complete arsehole - but it would have saved time and upset if he'd been honest at the start.