First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

It sounds like you’re going to find it tricky OP. Be choosy! I’m plump and middle aged and had a great time online dating 😃

I think it’s a great ice breaker..enjoy.

@madamepewter yes exactly and I've even found some (a minority of) doggy people who are quite harsh and judgemental about it "you hate dogs? You must hate all animals! You are a selfish person" etc. So I don't talk about it much IRL. But I've made my DH promise we'll never get one haha even tho his family are very, very doggy people! (He isn't.) I don't mind taking an occasional dog walk but you're right, in general it's pretty hard to find a compromise. Best to just find a like-minded partner!

Am always not that keen on dogs in restaurants / near food but appreciate I may well be in the minority in that

I'm in the same minority OP. I don't like it either.

I agree with the person above about dogs versus (very) occasional smoking. I'd rather be with someone who smokes say once or twice a week than who has a dog. It is a pretty polarising thing and I neither like dogs nor would want the responsibility for one. Or someone else's responsibility for one messing up the arrangements with friends, whether girlfriends or a male partner.

I'd go along this time, but if you like him, you may well need to say that you'd like to see him without the dog, too!

I'm not a massive fan of dogs and particularly the fashion to have them in every pub and restaurant. I think I would probably know the date and I were unlikely to be compatible. That's me though, you might be different!

Go on the date and see what you think and of course you can be picky! next time pick a cat person

I would LOVE this for a first date. Especially for a pub lunch! But I love dogs. So if you are not a dog person then I'd reconsider going at all. It would be a deal breaker for me (I don't currently have a dog but I couldn't date someone who would never have a dog as I do what one when the time is right).

It wouldn't be his guide dog would it - although I think he would have mentioned this if you've been chatting online beforehand.

I smiled when I read this. I’ve been a dog owner for a year, my first ever dog, and I’ve fallen deeply in love with her. On reading your post I thought if I ever was dating again, this would be me - bringing my canine companion.

BUT I would have asked you if you minded rather than presuming you don’t. You could be allergic and haven’t got round to saying so out of politeness. I always ask/tell friends in advance, even those whose who love my dog. I see it as a common courtesy.

@Umberta
I'm not a doggy person either. I once very briefly dated a doggy person and couldn't cope with the smell and the jumping, and the barking and the not being able to go out last minute. When I decided not to see the person anymore I can remember telling friends that I'd rather a smoker than a dog owner and I got told I must be an animal hater etc by someone, which really isn't true. So reading you make that same parallel really made me smile - I think you are totally right!

I cant stand dogs therefore wouldnt want to continue with the date, couldn't bear the thought of having to live with one! It really depends on what your view of them is, its obvious it's a big part of his life so if that's going to be a problem for you I would knock it on the head now.

I'm a dog owner and even when I wasn't I'd have loved a guy bringing a dog on a date! I haven't taken my dog on a date yet but if I was going somewhere suitable I totally would.

I've dated dog owners who left them behind all the time even on suitable dates when I have suggested they bring the dog - turns out both of them weren't very good to their dogs and it translated into not very good to their girlfriends - so to me him bringing his dog would be a hopeful signifier!

If you're not keen on dogs I think you should bow out gracefully now.

I’d love it if a guy came with his dog, it’s lovely shows he is caring and doesn’t want to leave his dog alone at home. I think he sounds great!

Sounds good to me as I have a springer pup, so date ideally would be a dog lover. I'm not sure I'd bring mine on the FIRST date though as she'd act like it was HER date and get a bit over friendly ... don't think I'd risk her in a pub! A more mature, sensible dog would be fine.

Also I LOVE dogs, but I'd hate it if the conversation was 90% about his dog. That would get tedious very quickly.

I’d love it! I’d be more excited to meet the dog than him.

You’re going to a country pub, that’s likely a dog-friendly place. Plus the dog is something to talk about and is probably a bit of a crutch for him. If lunch is good, go for a walk after.

The only time I would find this a problem is if you were petrified of/allergic to dogs. Which would probably be a deal-breaker for him anyway.

I;d love that but I love dogs.

I think what you should take from this is that he is telling you very clearly that his dog is very important to him. That means that a lot of his life will revolve around his dog. If this is not something you are interested in or can't see yourself tolerating then there is no point in dating him.

It sounds as if you’re not a massive doggy person. You’ll have to take a view after the first date if this man is besotted by this animal or just loves having a dog and they are part of his life. Even if it is the latter, will you be ok with this?

This wouldn't be for me. I would be looking for fun, romance and a bit of a spark on a first date, not cosy daytime dog walking type activities, not for the first date, anyway.

I'd want to meet his dog pretty soon, in first couple of weeks, but the fact he automatically brings the dog without asking tells you- he's basically only going to go places where dogs can go. Not nice restaurants!

That would be too much of a restriction on what I would want from a partner, but I'm not a massive doggy fan and so perhaps it would be best if we didn't get together if the dog is literally going to dominate everything (which in fairness they probably have to do, bit like children).

I don't think this is going to work for either of you if it bothers you; they clearly come as a unit and he might well be bringing the dog to assess whether you're ok with that!

I think the dog is a bit of a red herring. It’s the not asking and just presuming that’s the issue, and that could indicate a general lack of consideration for other people’s preferences.

Not odd at all, in fact I think it shows him as a good dog owner and therefore a generally good, considerate person

You knew he had a dog, he hasn’t hidden the fact, and has made it obvious he’s very fond of it, if you aren’t into dogs why bother continuing to talk to him?

I'd love it! I don't think there's anything weird about him presuming. I suppose he and his dog come as a package. If you don't want him, I'll have him!

It sounds like a lovely idea for a first date, if conversation is awkward or stilted you can talk about the dog! Great ice breaker.
Also as a plump middle aged woman you can be choosy.
Remember to take a few dog treats, get it on side.

I’m in the yes but no camp

If the dates shit at least I’d could play with the dog for an hour or two till it’s over..

But I don’t like the whole can’t be left for 10seconds/all around my food dogs n their owners.. it’s extremely limiting if someone can’t/won’t leave a pet dog (obviously a proper service dogs different).

And I’m not some mad anti dog lady.. I have 3 insane chihuahuas. I’d maybe have taken one or two of them if the date was a walk through a country estate type place but a pub in town I wouldn’t want to bring them for the sake of doing anything else but sitting in a beer garden (none allowed inside our pubs.. might be worth checking)

Also, why are people comparing dogs to smoking? Admittedly I’m a dog lover but I don’t understand how people are equating the two and saying they’d prefer a smoker over a dog owner. Dogs don’t make your breath stink and give you stained yellow fingers... yuk.

Hmm, I personally wouldn't of brought my dog but it might be really important to him that his dog likes you etc