First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

I didn't tell him what a tough test this was as one of them hates men and the other one is OK with men but hates me having a boyfriend. Fortunately they both like him, so he is absolutely a keeper. They are a very tough crowd and wouldn't let me go out with anyone who wasn't kind, caring and decent.

What's that saying, I don't trust a person who doesn't like dogs but I always trust my dog if he doesn't like a person.

Honestly, it's this kind of anthropomorphising nonsense that makes people who don't have pets wonder about the mentality of those who do. And I say that as an animal lover.

Thank you for the text suggestion Pollodeprimavera. However the problem is, he hasn't asked me if I'm ok with it. He's just resumed.
Tbh it's the presumption that's putting me off! The not considering my feelings or how I feel.

Not a dog person. Would put me right off. It's best to know in the begining, so good move on his part. He would know from minute one I am not the woman for him.

I think he's testing you.
Maybe he's had problems with dates before where he's got on really well with someone and then when they've met the dog it has transpired that the date didn't like dogs/was allergic/dog didn't like date.... so to avoid wasting time he brings the dog on the first date.

In your case, I'd be more concerned that he doesn't like cats. You say you were thinking of getting one and he doesn't like them and he is allergic. So if things get serious with him you'd never be able to have a cat again... I couldn't live like that so I'd not continue to date him.

Also the dog is going to be coming along on just about every date so if you're not ok with that then I'd just dump and move on now. Also the assumption that the dog is coming and he hasn't mentioned it or asked if it's ok is a bit off in my opinion.

LOL. This is the ONLY kind of date I'd want to go on!

But seriously, you can be a choosy as you like. You get to choose who you date. You don't need to justify yourself.

I think I'd still go to the lunch, see how you get on, but forewarned is forearmed as they say!

I suppose he might think he has already asked, or was a dog friendly place suggested?

Well if it was me, the first date would be the last! Can’t stand dogs, been attacked by them too many times. And he should have asked first.
I’m totally a cat person.
Are you ok with this smelly slobbbering creature sharing your bed, OP? And what about the dog?!

In my experience, people who aren't interested in my animals won't be compatible with me. No problem with that. If you're not keen on the dog coming on the date/him not asking you beforehand, I suggest you tell him that you're not interested.

Sounds like you're not a good match.

I'd have loved the dog idea, but then I wouldn't date someone who didn't love dogs. You sound a bit uptight.

I love dogs but no I wouldn't be pleased, firstly because he has presumed it's ok when you wouldn't take your child on a first date - I appreciate a dog is different but still it's meant to be about the two of you.
Secondly I like many others on here suspect he's bringing the dog to give its seal of approval on you. Like bringing a friend along to check you out! Which, on a first date is not appropriate!
But, I wouldn't say anything either...I'd go on the date and if it goes well then maybe you can gauge whether or not to say anything. Maybe he's attached to the dog for companionship?

I'd have loved the dog idea, but then I wouldn't date someone who didn't love dogs. You sound a bit uptight.

It's perfectly possible to 'love dogs' and still not want to have it presumed that you're OK with someone's dog coming on a first date, unasked. And there's nothing 'uptight' about requiring basic manners from someone you haven't even met yet.

Tbh it's the presumption that's putting me off!
Cancel the date then. You don’t like the way he’s handled this, you’re annoyed with him before you’ve even met, so why waste your time (and his)? The relative merits of responsible dog ownership are by the by.

Maybe when he said he was bringing his dog he could have been expecting you to either affirm or say no don't bring it.

Either way (and I would personally love it) keep us updated Op.

I would rather a dog than a sad little child, a packet of cigarettes or a blooming vape thing. As long as it was a nice dog like a border terrier,not a boring greyhound or a mad bad red setter (sorry).

It's perfectly possible to 'love dogs' and still not want to have it presumed that you're OK with someone's dog coming on a first date, unasked. And there's nothing 'uptight' about requiring basic manners from someone you haven't even met yet.

If you really love dogs, then no, it really doesn't matter.

If he springs it on you when you're dressed to the nines, then maybe, but when you know it's a casual pub lunch and a dog, a real dog lover would absolutely love this.

Why does a dog need to go on a date? Your date might be be really flatulent and want to blame it on the dog, or can't relate to other humans without canine back up.
I'd cancel, it's really not for me 😂 and the idea of the dog approving you is so demeaning. No one needs to validate you, much less a dog.

a real dog lover would absolutely love this

I can assure you I am a 'real' dog lover, and I still think it's rude.

I’m now wondering if there is a gap in the market here for a niche online dating site for pet owners. We have dog friendly cafes, restaurants, cinemas, hotels (maybe not the first date)

I’m not a dog person at all their smell, their hair that just gets everywhere, the barking and jumping god all just awful, so I would utterly detest this.

I don’t think dogs should be around food either in all honesty, it really annoys me when I’m out for a nice pub lunch and all I can smell is wet dog and having them snorting and barking all about your feet, grim.

I would have liked to have been asked as opposed to having it just be presumed that the dog was coming too. I’m selfish enough to want to be more important in someone’s life than an animal so this for me would set the tone and I probably wouldn’t go.

It's perfectly possible to 'love dogs' and still not want to have it presumed that you're OK with someone's dog coming on a first date, unasked. And there's nothing 'uptight' about requiring basic manners from someone you haven't even met yet.

None of this is relevant. The guy is telling the OP who he is, she should listen. If she does not fancy making room in her life for a dog in the way this guy has, then he is not the right man for her and there is no point in bothering with further dates.

*a real dog lover would absolutely love this

I can assure you I am a 'real' dog lover, and I still think it's rude.*

How can you think it's rude? He's mentioned it, so if there's any objection it can be talked over. It's not rude to want to have a pub lunch and a dog walk as a date, how on earth can it be?

As a dog lover, and not one who takes her dog everywhere, but if I turned up and saw a an meeting me with a dog, I'd be absolutely fine with it, not even asked or mentioned. It's a dog, not toxic waste he's bringing with him!

boring greyhound
Aww, greyhounds are beautiful.

I’m now wondering if there is a gap in the market here for a niche online dating site grin for pet owners. We have dog friendly cafes, restaurants, cinemas, hotels (maybe not the first date)

OMG brilliant idea! I'd sign up for that! Ex decided after years together, the two of us with loads of animals, that he was no longer interested in animals - it was a huge issue in our relationship. I wouldn't consider dating someone who did not have the same approach to owning animals as me because it would be a massive waste of time.

How can you think it's rude? He's mentioned it, so if there's any objection it can be talked over. It's not rude to want to have a pub lunch and a dog walk as a date, how on earth can it be?

It's rude not to say 'I'd like to bring my dog for lunch -- is that OK with you?' It's rude not to ask in advance, rather than let the information leak out casually after the OP had agreed to the date.

Pub lunch in a village so I wouldn’t think it was overly unreasonable to bring a dog. If you were younger expecting some sort of hot, steamy first date then it would be very strange .