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AIBU?

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Original poster

First date - guy bringing dog

534 replies

Macaroni46 · 04/03/2020 09:02

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy! Hmm

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
GCAcademic · 04/03/2020 11:03

I would date him just for his dog.

HumousWhereTheHeartIs · 04/03/2020 11:03

I think it's lovely and shows he is caring and loving.

sadatchristmas1 · 04/03/2020 11:05

Either he is an owner who takes his dog everywhere or the dog his is excuse to his significant other ie wife for why he is going out 🤷🏻‍♀️

PolloDePrimavera · 04/03/2020 11:09

He has made you aware, so you do have a chance to object? But you could say: let's just you and I meet this time but if there's a second date, please do bring Fido, I'd love to meet him.

And I am a TOTAL dog lover.

h3av3n · 04/03/2020 11:11

Dating is about finding someone compatible, if you're not a dog lover or don't like that he is then maybe try someone else

Vanhi · 04/03/2020 11:12

Bringing a dog on a date is fine. Not asking first is a bit odd. I've owned dogs in the past and would have asked. If the date had said no I wouldn't have bothered going, but I would have asked. Dogs are an integral part of your life so anyone dating a dog owner needs to accept them.

My OH had to meet the horses, but not until after we'd been dating a while. I didn't tell him what a tough test this was as one of them hates men and the other one is OK with men but hates me having a boyfriend. Fortunately they both like him, so he is absolutely a keeper. They are a very tough crowd and wouldn't let me go out with anyone who wasn't kind, caring and decent.

IntermittentParps · 04/03/2020 11:13

I'm now wondering if I should say something to him along the lines of I wish you'd asked me first?
I'd leave it, honestly. If it comes up during the date then you could say 'I was surprised to hear about the dog coming' or something; but I think harping on it over text before you meet him is a bit much.

I do agree though with pps that the dog will show you the man! If his dog is well behaved and he's clearly competent in managing it then great; if it's not trained or handled well then that'd be a no for me. A friend of mine went on a date with a bloke who brought his dog (to a street market with food and coffee stalls etc) and was really put off because he couldn't or wouldn't handle it and it kept running off to annoy other people and he kept jumping up to run after it. She was NOT impressed and neither would I be.
But see how it goes!

womenspeakout · 04/03/2020 11:13

I think that's how I'd know he was the one!

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would love it, and he probably goes on his dogs judgement of the people he meets, which I've always gone with too.

It's my ideal situation.

eggandonion · 04/03/2020 11:14

I think it's a test, love me love my dog! I also want to know what breed (I want to know what breed my dog is too, he is a bit of a mixture).
My daughter is away for work just now, and staying in a dog friendly hotel so has made friends with a retriever.
For some people they break the ice, I suppose you have to take it from there! I hope he is a nice man and you enjoy your lunch.

Iwantedthat · 04/03/2020 11:15

What's that saying, I don't trust a person who doesn't like dogs but I always trust my dog if he doesn't like a person. Maybe that's it, the dog could be your seal of approval 😬

JinglingHellsBells · 04/03/2020 11:15

7 pages and counting on whether to bring a dog or not Hmm

IntermittentParps · 04/03/2020 11:16

Vanhi, I love the sound of your horses Grin

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 04/03/2020 11:17

I know what you mean Op - he’s possibly going to end up being one of those people who puts their dog before the feelings of humans. Someone who considers others would’ve asked if you minded - lots of people don’t like dogs so he’s obviously using it as a marker to see if you object. And doing that so early on would put me off a bit tbh.

I can’t usually stand people who are ridiculous about their pets.

TheABC · 04/03/2020 11:20

It's a good lifestyle litmus test. If you don't like the dog, then you know you are not compatible as a couple.

sonjadog · 04/03/2020 11:24

I would be like him and bring the dog along. I wouldn't if it was an evening date, but a lunch date in a country pub would mean that if I bought the dog, I could take him for a walk afterwards. That is pretty much how dog owner life works - you are always thinking about the dog's needs and how they can work with your plans. If you don't like that, then dating a dog owner won't work for you.

I wouldn't bring the dog into the pub though. I'd leave mine in the car outside while we were eating. And before posters get hysterical about dog-theft - I don't live in the UK and it is not an issue here.

womenspeakout · 04/03/2020 11:25

What's that saying, I don't trust a person who doesn't like dogs but I always trust my dog if he doesn't like a person. Maybe that's it, the dog could be your seal of approval

This is it. I could never be with someone who doesn't love dogs, and especially my own.

If you don't like his dog, he'll know nice and early you're really not meant to be.

It's like in You've Got Mail, and he brings his dog to meet her, of course he would, the dog is a big part of his life.

dottiedodah · 04/03/2020 11:25

Well I adore dogs and have a certain spotted lady who loves walks! However I am not sure how I would feel about this .My girl is food driven(not all dogs are BTW)! so would not bring her to a restaurant.If dog is quiet and well behaved OK ,If rather lively not so good! Its an Ice Breaker I guess .Maybe go along with an open mind this time and see how it goes .If he insists on bringing doggy along everywhere ,then maybe a no go .Ours stays at home if we need to go shopping /out in the evening and so on.

BellsaRinging · 04/03/2020 11:29

I would positively love a guy to do this!

womenspeakout · 04/03/2020 11:31

Also, if you don't want him, send his details over to me.

A man who loves his dog and send you pictures of the dog (over dick pics) is something I would be very into!!!

PuppyMonkey · 04/03/2020 11:32

I think the point is, while lots of us on this thread “wouldn’t mind” and “it’s a test ha ha” (Hmm), I definitely do think it should have been discussed beforehand.

diddl · 04/03/2020 11:32

I think that he was rude not to ask.

Lots of us have dogs we love but don't take them everywhere with us-sometimes a dog is happier at home!

dogsdinnerlady · 04/03/2020 11:34

If you don't want him I'll have him. Dog and all.

AJPTaylor · 04/03/2020 11:34

I think it's a time saver. He needs to know if You and dog get on. If not, you are not compatible!

Herocomplex · 04/03/2020 11:35

Ha, this thread has been shared on Twitter.

People def in favour of dog over there.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 04/03/2020 11:36

Awe, can't go wrong with a guy who loves dogs. 😍😍😍

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