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AIBU?

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Original poster

First date - guy bringing dog

534 replies

Macaroni46 · 04/03/2020 09:02

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy! Hmm

OP posts:
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8
abstractprojection · 04/03/2020 10:40

If I were meeting a friend that has a dog for a pub lunch somewhere that allows dogs and a walk, I would expect them to bring it. It's just what dog people do, take their dogs everywhere they go and pick places based of if they can take them.

I don't think they need to ask as it's a public place. I would expect him to ask if he can bring the dog round to yours though.

In terms of dating I can only see it as an issue if he refuses to go anywhere that he can't take the dog and if you found that too restrictive

cakewench · 04/03/2020 10:40

YANBU, OP. I realise there are loads of doggy people in the world but if you aren't one (and I don't mean, you hate dogs, I just mean you don't bring one along everywhere) this is a surprise.

Basically, just be prepared for this dog to be along with you on most outings. It won't change, so either you like it or you don't, and react accordingly. It's probably good that he's doing it so you know now.

AnneKipanki · 04/03/2020 10:41

If something annoys you at the start it is going to be the reason you break up .

KezQueen · 04/03/2020 10:41

I don't have one at present but was thinking of getting one

OP...are you secretly a cat person? Wink

If so, end this now.

You’ve had a lot of doggy loving people answer on this thread.

But...(cat person here) I personally would find it needy. I don’t know why. I just would.

Zaphodsotherhead · 04/03/2020 10:42

Has he been married or in an LTR before?

I should have taken notice of the fact that my ex hadn't, and didn't have a clue how to show affection to a human. He'd had dogs all his life though, and knew how to deal with them. He did rather assume that I'd be up for 'attention' when he wanted to give it and would just like quiet in my basket the rest of the time.

And yes, for 'attention' read sex. He didn't know how to be affectionate if I didn't have a tail and paws.

fruitbrewhaha · 04/03/2020 10:42

I think if you are not keen on dogs around food, or put out by him bringing his dog it shows you are not compatible.

I presume he is middle aged too. He is just cutting to the chase. He is looking for a someone who will like doing the things he does which is dog walks and country pubs etc.

However - I wasn't a dog person until we got our dog and now I love them. So go with an open mind.

Zaphodsotherhead · 04/03/2020 10:42

*lie. Not like.

Orchidfeed · 04/03/2020 10:43

I think a dog would be a good ice-breaker/distraction on a first date... & that it’s too soon to think longterm implications 😊 Most first dates don’t go anywhere until randomly one does... I love my partner’s dog - I met her on about date 4-5

If you don’t actually mind please don’t get hung up on that he should have asked you rather than informed you (which still gave you time to declare allergy etc) it doesn’t tell you the full story of someone you’ve never met

lynsey91 · 04/03/2020 10:43

I would love it but I love dogs. DH and I met when he was walking his dogs.

There could be a few reasons why he is bringing his dog. Maybe he is a big dog lover and wants to see how you are with them. Maybe he is a bit shy or just worried that there may be awkward moments and a dog is something to talk about/laugh about etc. Maybe for some reason the dog has been left alone more than usual and he wants to take it with him.

A casual pub lunch is ideal with a dog. It's not like you are going to the cinema or posh restaurant is it?

If you like dogs then go and see how you get on. If you don't like dogs then no point in going.

CatteStreet · 04/03/2020 10:44

I'm not a dog lover at all but I think this is fine - it's a pub lunch, he's told you beforehand, and he's also setting out his stall, so to speak - you need to be OK with the dog being part of your life if you are with him.

This would be a non-starter for me, personally, so it's as well to know how this'll be and decide if you're OK with it.

adaline · 04/03/2020 10:45

Ha, I would love this! But I'm a dog-lover myself - I'd just have to hope he didn't mind me spending all my time fussing his dog Grin

puds11 · 04/03/2020 10:45

I love dogs, but I find the majority of people who own dogs assume everyone else loves dogs. I don’t want dogs in my house or next to me when I’m eating. If I did I’d buy a dog. It would put me off to be honest as I can’t be bothered scheduling my life around a dog and that is what you’ll be doing if you end up in a relationship. If you’re happy with that, crack on.

Aneley · 04/03/2020 10:47

I am a 'dog person', DH a 'cat person'. We compromised so now we have two of each + a parrot for good measure. :)

You may love the dog!

Mulledwineinajug · 04/03/2020 10:48

I’d be thrilled but I love dogs.

TheReluctantCountess · 04/03/2020 10:49

I’m a dog lover, and my dog means the world to me, but I wouldn’t take him on a date. And a bloke bringing his dog on a first date would put me off - you will always be number two in his world.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 04/03/2020 10:50

Also, what breed of dog of it? Very important detail, enquiring minds need to know.......

Princessfaffalot · 04/03/2020 10:50

I can’t see if you’ve said above but is the pub dog friendly? I think it would depend on that for me, if he expected me to sit and eat outside in the cold because of the dog then I wouldn’t be going on the date! If it’s a dog friendly pub where you can sit in the warm with the dog under the table (and it’s well trained not to beg) then I think it’s a lovely idea. Dh had a dog when we first met. It was March when we had our first date so pretty chilly and he didn’t bring the dog until end of April/beginning of may when it was lovely and warm to sit outside. If he expected me to sit in the cold then that wouldn’t make me feel particularly special!

Deadringer · 04/03/2020 10:53

I like dogs, I have a dog, but I think it's weird, especially for a first date. If he had kids would he bring them along as well? It would be different if you were meeting up in a park or something but a meal or a drink, no way. I can see I am in the minority here though.

MozzchopsThirty · 04/03/2020 10:53

I think it's odd

I love dogs and have my own, but I wouldn't take her on a date

Toddlerteaplease · 04/03/2020 10:53

If a date brought his cat along, I'd marry him on the spot!

FAQs · 04/03/2020 10:54

I’d take my dog, she is very astute and her opinion would be considered Grin

KatherineJaneway · 04/03/2020 10:57

You are not just going on a date with him but with the dog as well. You need to find out if dog sleeps on his bed, where he eats etc as you said Am always not that keen on dogs in restaurants / near food but appreciate I may well be in the minority in that.

Ilovemypantry · 04/03/2020 10:57

I think it shows he has very caring personality and I would def not have a problem with it

bringincrazyback · 04/03/2020 11:01

I like dogs but I wouldn't like this. I'd feel the 'dog logistics' could get in the way of the actual date. I mean imagine if you go for a walk afterwards and he has to stop to bag up poop, I get that that's part and parcel with dogs, but not exactly romantic on a first date.

More than that, though, I think I'd just find it a bit obtuse of him to presume this is fine. As someone has said upthread, some people are allergic to dogs or scared of them. That said, he probably needs to date someone who isn't, so I'm also wondering if it's something of a test, as others have said. That would put my back up a little, tbh.

GA2012 · 04/03/2020 11:01

For me it would be a great ice breaker as I love dogs. But understand why others may feel it’s odd.

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