First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

I'm with you OP, I think it's a bit strange tbh. I have no issue with people taking their dogs places, although like you not overly keen on them in places with food but i would think it's odd on a 1st date! Oh the other hand as pp say it will be a good ice breaker/conversation point.

I'd give it a miss, it sounds like you aren't compatible, he's allergic to cats and you possibly want to own cats he's got a dog and you aren't happy he is bringing the dog.
Life is too short.

As long as the dog is house trained...I'd not have a problem.
I met a bloke who had a toy dog, aged 3, and the dog just soiled everywhere...Completely untrained...He turned up with the dog
His excuse was ''He's just a puppy''....At 3 years old? A Cavalier King Charles spaniel. Needless to say, the bloke was hopeless. However, if the dog is well behaved, quiet and clean, no problem.

I really wouldn't message him about it, it sets the whole 'date' up as a some sort of serious business deal with a set of principles that need to be agreed beforehand. .

Just go along, have lunch ..... see how you get on, you might not like him so what's the worse that's happened? You've met him (& his dog), hopefully had a nice lunch and that's the end of it.

I reckon if you don't like dogs then this relationship may not be for you then!

There's no point trying to tell him off by text/message at this stage of the game. Why start arguing before you've even met? Either go, knowing he wants to take his dog everywhere, or don't. You aren't there to correct his behaviour, just either go with it or run away. I'd run away, I'd want someone to be focused on me, not the dog and if the date was so awkward that we needed a dog to talk about, it wouldn't be a very good date.

You're questioning yourself about your feelings, and sounding ready to settle for less than you want due to putting yourself down. You've not even met him yet.

Tell him how you feel and see how he responds. Then decide if you still want to meet him.

better than leaving it at home driving the neighbours nuts with hours of barking.

it does demonstrate the massive tie involved with dog ownership, so if you don't want to be sharing that, find another one of the 3.5 billion men available!

You can definitely be choosy OP, at any age.

I agree, I think it was dis-courtesy not to check with you.
I don't think you would bring a child on a date.

Each to their own but I prefer not to eat in restaurants with dogs since years ago being in one mid meal and a dog owner walked it with a wet dog and proceeded to have a good shake by our table....🙄. We were not happy.

I don't know if I would get into a discussion about it, but it wouldn't bode well for me....very poor manners from him.

I think he is showing you who he is and the types of things he likes, places he likes to go. Its a good thing. Lots would like it, lots wouldn’t. Both are fine. Go. See what you think. You might find you like the idea more than you thought. Hope it goes well.

It's just a first date OP, try to chill a bit! If you don't like his dog, don't see him again. If his dog doesn't like you, he won't see you again. Easy.

Perhaps he's been to the place before and always takes his dog, so didn't think to mention it.

Personally I think it's nice - he's a caring, responsible dog owner, he loves his dog.

Caring? Check.
Responsible? Check.
Loving? Check.

Sounds like good potential boyfriend material to me.

Oh and of course you can be choosy. If you decide you don’t like pub lunches with the dog, he probably isn’t for you.

It's good because you will be able to see if he's nice to his dog or do indulgent the dog was like an extra guest.

I think I agree with @Nearlyalmost50 that there's probably little point in saying you would have preferred if he'd asked first by text in advance of the date. If the whole thing is a turn off at this point, just cancel. Or you could go to meet him, and if you like him and think the relationship has potential, tell him face to face you'd have preferred it if he'd asked about bringing the dog - you'll be able to tell a lot from his response.

If you go and it's a damp squib, you can point out that future dating partners might be as unimpressed by an uninvited canine third wheel as you are.

I’m on the fence with dogs at pubs/places to eat. Well-behaved and relaxed, so we can chat and eat and have a nice time - ok. Jumpy, barky, fighty- no thanks - especially on a date which then means dog owner is having to “manage” said pup, much like a toddler, and then it’s half-finished conversations “oh sorry, just a minute” “ahh back again, sorry what were we talking about” 🤯🤦🏻‍♀️
Good luck OP

This would be a bonus for me. If you don't like dogs though, I wouldn't bother going. He will always want to have one. Before I even went on a first date I would mention I had pets and liked animals, I'd they didn't then we wouldn't be compatible.

better than leaving it at home driving the neighbours nuts with hours of barking.

Well, yes, but that's hardly the OP's problem, unless he turns out to be her nextdoor neighbour.

I like him already! But don’t put yourself down, OP - be as choosy as you want to be.

I presume he didn’task if you'd mind becausethe dog has been part of your conversations up till now. But watch out that he doesn’t take you for granted.

He probably brings the dog on all first dates to screen out anyone who's not sufficiently 'doggy'.

I love dogs and would absolutely love this, but I agree that he should have asked. The 'part of a package' thing is beside the point. So are my son and I, but I didn't take him along to my first date with my now DP!

Don't write him a message telling him off, either go on the date with an open mind or don't. I think online dating is difficult if you are only sending messages back and forth, have you spoken to him on the phone? I think a phone conversation would be a really good idea to guage how you feel about the date.

I absolutely LOVE my dogs, DH and I do so much with them and for them that actually, I quite like going for dinner or lunch without them! They're dogs, they are far more settled at home than in a strange restaurant or pub and for a first date his attention should be on you both, not on whether his dog's getting it's lead wrapped around the table leg.

I'd love it, I'd probably bring mine as well!

there's probably little point in saying you would have preferred if he'd asked first
^ I agree.

Go along and enjoy the date: If it’s fun, go for another (maybe at a non-pet friendly place next time to see what happens). If it’s not fun then write it off but be glad that you tried.

By reading this I realise I took all five of my dogs on our first date! It was just a pub lunch and they did stay in the van though. Married 18 years now so it was OK. DH not particularly doggie either but he accepted they were part of the package.

I don't think it's overly odd but if it was me I think I would have said 'do you mind if I bring my dog?' rather than just assuming you'd be ok with it.