First date - guy bringing dog

[Macaroni46]

So I've been chatting to a guy online who seems very nice etc and we have arranged to meet for the first time at the weekend.
We are going for lunch at a pub I a village half way between where we both live.
I am aware he is a dog owner and very fond of his dog. Talks about him a lot, sends pictures of him etc.
Through the course of our message exchange it transpires that he is bringing his dog to the first date. I'm not sure how I feel about this?
AIBU in feeling it's odd? Or should I just embrace it? After all, a plump middle aged woman can hardly be too choosy!

*who he is

It is kind of a dealbreaker, really. How can a dog lover, nay, a dog owner , possibly have a relationship with someone who doesn't like dogs? It would be miserable for all concerned.

I recently went for lunch with my dog in a pub after a long walk. Dog was snoozing peacefully (just the odd chip happened to fall from the table...). The pub had signs such as "Dogs Welcome if accompanied by well-behaved owner" etc and had water bowls and dog treats. Yet there was a couple on the next table who glared constantly at dog. They moved so that they were both on the far side of the table so neither had to sit near dog. He was not even looking at them, let alone bothering them.

If you are the type who thinks dogs shouldn't be in a country pub, then dating a dog owner who likes a walk is probably not a move destined to have great success.

Personally I wouldn't be able to relax on the date knowing the dog is in the car. I hope you have a good time OP.

I'm entitled to feel I'd like to be asked about something like bringing a dog to a first date

Absolutely, you are. You’re also entitled to not like dogs or not like dogs in restaurants, upstairs, wherever. But you asked if he was being odd bringing the dog, and the answer is No.

He did ask you anyway - indirectly. It’s not like he just turned up with it. So if you were scared/allergic, you had an opportunity to say. You don’t sound like a dog person and there’s nothing wrong with that. But implying there’s something “odd” about this is wrong IMO. Pubs and country walks are full of dogs.

@FoxesAreFabulous

Reading through comments this is making me wonder if it is normal for dogs to sleep on peoples beds with them? - Would most people who have dogs expect a person they are dating to share a bed with them + dog?
And for doggy people does not wanting to share a bed with a dog mean that you don't like dogs ?

Sounds like a perfect first date to me. He is clearly going to see you whether his dog likes you or not .

I love my dog. There is no way I would share a bed with her, for one thing she snores.

Look, I love dogs and mine sleeps with his head on my legs.

However, I would not like the fact that he didn't ask you if it was OK to bring the dog.

I would love a man who wants to bring his dog on a first date. But I have a dog and from a dog mad family.

I'm online dating and prefer men who have dogs in their profile pictures 😉🐶

My dog is my world, but he sleeps in his cage at night. Mainly because he is a fidget er and I want a good nights sleep!

I do get, that non dog people may find a dog sleeping in the bed uncomfortable, so I don't think that is too much of an ask to remove the dog from the bed

cestcommeca I think dog owners, in my experience, fall into two camps - those who don't care where the dog sleeps so are happy for it to sleep on the bed (and actually love having the dog there, as I do) and those who would never want their dog on the bed. I don' think that the latter group love their dogs any less, it''s just a matter of choice. We have a miniature poodle so he doesn't take up much room but I know people with bigger dogs, that sleep on the bed. Poodles also don't shed so you don't get a bed covered in dog hair - but again, for some people that's not an issue.
I completely understand that a new partner may like the idea of sharing a bed with a dog and that's fine - but they do need to be honest about this at the start. Then it's up to the dog owner to either move the dog out or say they're sorry but the dog stays. In my case, the dog was there way before the ex was and there was no possibility of shutting him out at night anyway as he was used to being with me and would get very upset and very vocal!!
In future, I think if I met anyone else, I'd be very clear with them early on about all things dog. In hindsight, I should have seen the signs earlier on with my ex - but he turned out to be a twat in other ways too so I'd rather have the dog!!

may not like the idea of sharing a bed

Seems normal to me? I always trust my dog's opinion.

Perhaps he didn't ask about bringing the dog because he was going to leave it in the car!
OP, you do sound a bit anxious about the dog. If the meet up goes ok, please tell him you are nervous and let him help you to overcome it (if you want to go ahead with the relationship).
Letting a Dog into your life/heart is just an amazing thing, IMHO, as a former dog phobe.

Trying to think of good name for a human and dog dating site...

@FoxesAreFabulous

Thank you. I'm not a doggy person, but I briefly dated a person who had a german shepherd. I was more than fine with most things, even though dogs do make me nervous because I'm not steady on my feet and have been tripped more than once. I did let them know as soon as we met that I was very nervous around dogs. And yet I was fine with travelling to them every time because travelling ( and we're talking 40 minutes max in bus and metro) with the dog was difficult. I was fine spending all our free time on walks, with my clothes being covered with dog hair, my shoes being chewed etc - up until about 4 months in the bed slept on the bedroom floor in it's own bed when I was over - but then the dog owner decided the dog should be in bed with us. For me, that was too much! But in that case, I had been honest from the start...

I’m sniggering at these all these canine barometers of goodness. My dog is a shit judge of character. He loves absolutely everyone

@FoxesAreFabulous And then there are those of us who are happy for the dog to on the bed during the day, but at night we need to go our separate ways!

@Bluetrews25 - “One Man and his Dog”. :)

I'm a dog owner who doesn't care if the dog is on the bed.

Mine doesn't right now as he doesn't like the stairs in this house since we moved, so he's downstairs on the sofa, or where he wants.

However, I have only had rough collies, and they don't have that 'doggy' smell like other breeds, I don't think I could sleep with any dog on the bed, especially if they had a more 'doggy' smell.

Seeing as he hasn't asked you then that's rude I think. YOu might be allergic, afraid of dogs or whatever. A considerate person would have asked. I'd tell him it's not suitable for a first date, and his response will tell you what you need to know about him!

I need to know what dog it is !!!

I'd love someone bringing their dog. I love animals & they're a great icebreaker, I'd feel instantly more relaxed. It would only bother me if he can't seem to function without the dog tho, as that's another thing entirely.

I would have loved it. He probably trusts the dog’s opinion of people too!

@Writersblock2

Ah right. He will leave the dog in the car while you eat, and then take it for a walk afterwards (with or without you depending on how you get on, I would guess!). That's exactly what I would do in the same circumstance.

If you aren't happy with the dog coming along like this, it is a big sign that you may not be compatible. Dogs take a central place in their owner´s lives.

I actually think it’s a smart move. He isn’t going to get serious with anyone who doesn’t get along with his dog.

If it were me, I would cancel the date because I don’t personally want a relationship with a man who is that much of a dog person. So his decision saves both of us time and heartbreak because there is no way he would want to be with me either.