To think I should move to countryside for children

[greywoollyjumper]

Pregnant with 2nd child and constantly thinking we should move to the countryside for better quality of life for children. Currently live in suburb of big city next to a busy road and worried about air pollution, crime etc. Not sure if I have a totally romanticised view of countryside living though - is it really as friendly, healthy and wholesome as I picture in my daydreams?? Anyone moved to countryside for their kids and regretted it / loved it?

My Mum moves us all back to the countryside from a city suburb when we were young. I’m so grateful she did, and having gone back and lived in an city myself, there’s no where better to raise my kids than the countryside

‘Moved, not moves’

I grew up in the countryside and was mostly bored out of my mind and we were only 15 mins to the nearest anything.

Yes! If you have the opportunity then do it! We have and we've never been happier.

As long as you are happy to drive your kids everywhere for the next 18 years or have excellent transport links you'll be fine.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere. Fun as a young child. Dull as a teenager. With sporty siblings it meant my parents were never out of the car.

I live in the exurbs. No close neighbors, house in the woods on two acres, etc. The kids grew up with turkeys, pheasants and turtles in the front garden. It's very peaceful and private here. But we still have very good schools and good access to shopping and transportation.

No regrets at all.

Depends what you mean by 'better quality of life'.
Living in the countryside can affect friendships, being able to go to clubs, spontaneous hanging around with friends when a teen etc.

We moved from London to Sussex before number 2. I’d lived in London for 12 years and struggled with the moved. It took a while to settle, 8 years later I love it. I love that we have space and a large garden, that my son can cycle alone on the lane we live on for 3 miles, walk across fields and play with friends without me being a helicopter parent.

The biggest benefit is that I no longer need to queue up to book swimming lessons, worry about school catchments, and fight for resource.

We’re semi rural, we overlook countryside for miles, but are within 25 minutes walk of a mainline station and school via footpaths. We ruled lots of gorgeous houses out because we’d have been reliant on cars and taxis to teenagers.

I grew up in the countryside and got out as soon as was possible. Really, really tedious place to be a teenager. Well until you discover sex and alcohol, which was literally the only entertainment. Nothing to do at any time, no public transport to speak of. Dont mind popping home to visit, but wouldnt raise my dc there.

I hated growing up in the countryside and moved to a city far away as soon as I'd finished my A-levels.
Yes it's beautiful and sometimes when we go somewhere rural on holiday I think about living there but then I remember how miserable I was and couldn't put my DCs through that.
I was constantly bored, couldn't knock round friends' houses because they lived miles away along country lanes that could be dangerous to walk on, had to ask my increasingly resentful parents for lifts if I wanted to give anywhere as no public transport...
Your DCs may enjoy the lifestyle when they're little but be prepared for them to hate you for it when they're teenagers.
Just my experience though and on the plus side I did read a lot of books.

I'm sticking with suburbia, local community facilities and a regular bus route into town.

Many of the rural small towns have drug/ alcohol issues being common amongst bored young people and poor accident rates as 16 year olds seek independence on motorbikes or rushing to drive at 17. Poor drink driving rates too due to lack of public transport/ taxis/ safe walking routes.

Yeah definitely worried about how they'd find it as teenagers if the transport links weren't there. I grew up in a large village (other end of the country from where I live now) and loved playing out when I was little but was constantly getting the bus into town when I was older. Lived in a big city since uni (nearly half my life now!) so hard to work out how I'd find it being more cut off too, although I definitely don't make the most of all the trendy bars and restaurants at the moment!!

We moved from a city to a village before having dc. It was near a town so not properly rural but it had pavements, a village hall, a shop and a school. It was ideal really. You could walk to the baby group, nip out for milk and trot about with a toddler. I wouldn't have wanted to be more rural with dc.

I grew up in the countryside and got out as soon as was possible. Really, really tedious place to be a teenager. Well until you discover sex and alcohol, which was literally the only entertainment.

Oh, god, yes, this!!! Unless, of course, you're the weird kid with the formerly urban hippie parents in a hamlet full of farmers who could trace their family line back to the 1st Anglo-Saxon cowherd ever to have settled in the area if only those pesky Saxon invadors had kept records of such stuff.

If that's you, you may have a hard time finding people to do sex and alcohol with, so you get a downgrade to "masturbation and the questionable results of your mum's experiments with home brewing".

There’s the countryside then there’s the real countryside!
Having to drive absolutely everywhere, even to buy a pint of milk will soon get old. Kids will hate not being close to friends and having shite transport links for school, college and eventual part time jobs etc. Although beautiful, the real countryside isn’t going to suit most people.

However small towns and villages on the edge of countrysides - yes! You’ll pay for the privilege but being in a smallish town or decent village with schools, green spaces, decent bus service and a mainline train would give best of both.

We keep thinking about going abroad because it’s too bloody cold here. Although might wait for corona to resolve itself first!

Will you be happy? I wouldn't. I like to be able to walk to shops etc. I like the hustle and bustle of the city.
When I stay with friends in the country the roads are narrow with high hedgerows and the rest is farmland- you wouldn't let kids walk on the roads and it depends on the farm if there are pathways. The car is king - maybe a close primary but it's a drive for everything else. And it took years before they made friends. Plus the husband has to commute to London four days a week - hour and a half each way plus £££ in train fares. I'm not sure where the 'better quality of life' comes in. There's lots of big parks even in London where kids can run around. And not a lot for teens in the country.

Most of the kids around here - Highlands and Islands of Scotland - head for a city as soon as they can. Lots of bugger all for teenagers for fifty miles in any direction you care to point - apart from bus shelters and the internet.

A lot of them come back pretty quickly right enough.

My friend lives in what was countryside when they moved there 25-30 years ago. Just far enough out of town but easy to get to everything.
Sadly they've built houses to the edge of their property: it's now overlooked. The nice country lane where she used to walk with the pram and see nobody for miles is now full of kids on bikes dogs off lead etc etc. And of an evening the city lines drug runners park up in the layby. Her advice would be move far enough out such that you will not get encroached and pick where you live carefully - they cannot sell easily for a comparable price to the premium they paid when they moved in (due to the overlooking) yet cannot get planning for the plot (big enough for a few houses ) because it is the countryside green gap and their parish council (unlike that of the overlooking houses) is full of NIMBYS. They also cannot get fibre broadband (but the overlooking houses do).

We live rurally and being chief taxi driver was a pain. Going out for a loaf of bread is fine if before 6pm, after that you might have to try a couple of garages or a couple of villages over. I'd suggest see if you can relocate somewhere a bit leafier away from main road but still with all the facilities to hand, and near nice schools so the kids can walk there, have friends round and walk to their friends houses too.

I’m from the city and dp is from the countryside. I lived in the countryside with dp family for a year or so. From my experience, most of the locals in that particular area are alcoholics that begrudge outsiders for buying up the local properties and sending the prices up. I was welcomed warmly because of my connections with dp. I was also a little shocked by some of the racial slurs and sayings that were commonplace. Someone would blurt out, “she’s as tight as a Jew” (when describing a frugal person) and no one in the vicinity would register the crime of the comment. There were a few things like that that made me cringe inside. Nevertheless, I’m not suggesting that the racial slur defines the attitude of the whole countryside- just that people are more openly racist than in cities.

There are a great deal of lovely aspects of the countryside too but don’t be fooled that because a good community exists you’ll be welcomed with open arms straight away.

You’ll pay for the privilege but being in a smallish town or decent village with schools, green spaces, decent bus service and a mainline train would give best of both.

Yes I think this is what we want really.

@LuckyLickitung makes an excellent point re the drink driving problem in very rural places.
An ex of mine grew up very remotely, not far physically from local villages but absolutely no transport link to his house and lots of similar properties. I was astounded by how often I’d see people at the local pub stagger out to their cars, his parents and friends included. He’d actually crashed into a ditch drunk as a teenager, most of his friends had similar stories.
I’d forgotten all about this but yes, drink driving was rife in his part of the “countryside”

Eesh the drink driving would definitely be a worry 😟

Have you watched 'This Country' on BBC iPlayer?

I always find it strange when people say rural kids have nothing to do. It can be the same in a town or city depending on where you live and what the environment is like. DH grew up in South London, and he and his mates did nothing but go to the pub as late teens.

I live in a small Scottish town, within 15 minutes I can be on the banks of Loch Lomond, there's fields and wildlife and hills, currently topped with snow.
I can also be in the middle of Glasgow in under an hour using the half hourly trains, which also goes to Edinburgh.
I do drive, but you really don't need to here.
You don't have to choose between country and city, there's a balance.