To think I should move to countryside for children

[greywoollyjumper]

Pregnant with 2nd child and constantly thinking we should move to the countryside for better quality of life for children. Currently live in suburb of big city next to a busy road and worried about air pollution, crime etc. Not sure if I have a totally romanticised view of countryside living though - is it really as friendly, healthy and wholesome as I picture in my daydreams?? Anyone moved to countryside for their kids and regretted it / loved it?

I know some people on here are saying that they are happy to be a taxi service to their teen dc but that’s not really the point.
It’s that as a teen you have no autonomy. You can’t just say ‘I’m going over to Ellie’s, I’ll be back in time of tea’ and trot off.

Yes @FlamingoandJohn and if you have more than one child it becomes a nightmare of logistics.

We are having the same dilemma so following with interest.

Friends live out in sticks with two teenage DCs and feel like they run a taxi service. But clean air and home grown food...

Yes, all those parents saying they’re happy to be a taxi service ...... until they realise they can never have a drink on a Friday or Saturday night for years.

I grew up in a market town - not even a village - and hated it even as a very young kid. My parents lived in London before I was born and literally from the age of 4 I was berating them for not bringing me up in London. I went to London as soon as I was able and have never looked back. If I had kids I wouldn’t inflict my upbringing on them, they’d grow up in the city and have the childhood I wish I’d had

so will focus on places with train stations

Don't just focus on whether it has a train station; you also need to focus on how good the services are from the station. You don’t want to spend way too many years having to leave nights out early or rush off from events to ‘get the last train’ at a stupidly early time.

Yes, all those parents saying they’re happy to be a taxi service ...... until they realise they can never have a drink on a Friday or Saturday night for years.

Or take a job with shifts or a hobby of their own that clashes.

There is a happy medium. It's not just a choice between living on a main road in a city and living in the back of beyond. Air pollution is a serious thing. I live in a village in a fairly rural area. Air quality is great, but we still have decent local facilities. My dc have friends within walking distance and within a short drive, just like kids in towns and cities do.

We lived in the countryside on occasions as we had to move with work.
Yes it was all lovely and actually particularly good for pre teenage kids and the rest of it but if you are city girl at heart you won’t settle.
I appreciated the fresh air and space but absolutely hated everything else (the mud, the weather, the change in wardrobe, being far away from main airports, not being able to pop into the city, the remoteness of everything, lack of convenience, having to drive everywhere etc). I totally missed the energy I get from living in or near a city.

I grew up in the countryside and got out as soon as was possible. Really, really tedious place to be a teenager. Well until you discover sex and alcohol, which was literally the only entertainment. Nothing to do at any time, no public transport to speak of.

This was my experience is living rurally for part of my teens. Also, as another PP says, drink driving is a massive problem - I’ve seen people sink 7+ pints and drive home. Also, as an older teen, there were lots of drugs at parties - more than I saw in the city.

Place marking as this is my dream too!

@Handsoffisback but taxis are often hard to get in the countryside and need to be booked weeks in advance. Where we used to live it was £17 for a five mile journey if you could book one!

I think it definitely depends what each person means by "countryside". I grew up in a village with fields/woods behind our back garden but on a regular ish bus route (although no evening or Sunday service) and with amenities in the village. Taxis when I was old enough weren't an issue as I was coming home from the town where there were plenty. It wasn't the prettiest village by any means but I wonder if that's the compromise. In my daydreams I imagine somewhere more picturesque and remote but I wonder if the reality would drive me mad in which case maybe better off looking for something more like I'm used to from my childhood.

We moved to a country village to have children, I grew up in one it was lovely

Just be prepared to give teenagers lifts though as and when needed. My mum did that for me and I will do that for my kids when older.

Country life is great though we enjoy it and still go for regular day trips to the local city (45min drive)

It's the best of both worlds I think

It’s true! Because it was rural there were very few taxis and so they were always booked. I’m not making it up or exaggerating.

and I don’t live in the country any more, thank fuck.

My DCs have been much happier since we moved too- so much more freedom.

We have just (3 weeks ago) moved from a city suburb to village. We are only a couple of miles out of town and under normal circumstances there is a cycle path to the nearest farm shop (30 mins walk) and if you go a bit further you can cycle / walk all the way into town safely so great for when the kids are teens. There is a local pub which doubles as an Indian take away, and a playground and community centre.
Unfortunately two days after we moved in the main road flooded and has been under water since, so we have had a taste of what life is like in really rural locations and it's horrible! Hour long commute down potholed country lanes every morning, cant get to a supermarket or even a local shop without a long drive, cant get a take away (pub closed as inaccessible due to floods), Amazon won't bloody deliver as it's too much of a pain to get here, kids are exhausted from long commute to school, bored at weekend as it takes ages to get anywhere and it's hard to even go for a walk as the footpaths are under water and the playground is a bog! Main entertainment is redirecting lost lorry drivers and watching them make a 17 point turn in the road as they realise they can't get through the flood.
I would never live anywhere this cut off permanently. On the plus side it is beautiful here and most of the locals seem friendly enough.
On another note, OP I grew up in a village with regular trains to Manchester and loved it there, my info about it is 30 years out of date but will PM you if you are interested?

I couldn't do it - I'm a city person and I can't imagine how hard it is being a teenager in the middle of nowhere

I live in a town 30 mins from the second city by train - decent transport, shops, Nandos! but also a small town feel, lots of community stuff going on, surrounded by green spaces - best of both worlds really - and cheaper than the city of the 'nicer' rural villages near by.

OR not of!