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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my partner is a massive man child?

94 replies

cherryontop94 · 03/03/2020 11:24

just as the title says really...some recent examples:

throws controller when looses on fifa

leaves food wrappers out all over the side even though the bin is right next to it

never knows where any of his clothes are. always has to ask me. scurfs all my wardrobe up looking for specific socks and doesnt rearrange after.

sulks when in a bad mood. dd had a bad night of sleeping last night so this morning hes all I hate life, not going to your brothers later hes a prick etc you're going to need to let me sleep this afternoon because I'm getting up with her now (bare in mind I am the one who gets up with her during the night so was exhausted this morning

these are just a few examples.

aibu to find this behaviour really of putting and to be debating if I want to stay or are they petty things that can be overlooked?

I think it's especially since I've had dd just feels like another person to look after

OP posts:

PickAChew · 03/03/2020 23:18

Chinks123 you don't have to lie in that bed a minute longer.

Booberella9 · 03/03/2020 23:31

Lovely.

YABU as he clearly was like this before you reproduced with him.

SilverySurfer · 04/03/2020 00:02

YABU. Knowing he is a pathetic man-child, you've chosen to remain in a relationship with him and chosen to have a baby with him. Unless he has had a sudden change of behaviour, what is the point of now complaining about him on here?

CalleighDoodle · 04/03/2020 07:03

He is awful. Leave

AnyFucker · 04/03/2020 07:08

If you keep doing what you are doing, you will continue getting what you have got

stouffer · 04/03/2020 07:59

@vhs95. I’m in my late 40s and have been a gamer since the earliest home computers of the early 1980s. They improve hand/eye coordination and motor skills and are a key source of relaxation for many people. I particularly enjoy fantasy & adventure games that enable me to totally detach from real life for a bit. I’ve also never thrown a controller in my life and if I feel frustrated by a game I just turn it off.

I also do all of the things you mention in your post, but am likely to still be a gamer when I’m an old man with pipe and slippers.

Lllot5 · 04/03/2020 08:03

He throws himself on the sofa with his hand over his face because he can’t find his socks? Fuck me what a prick. His mum sticks up for him cos she don’t want him moving back home.

Zaphodsotherhead · 04/03/2020 09:27

He's a man child.

Not just for his behaviour, but for involving 'mummy' every time his girlfriend doesn't do what he wants.

Has he literally never learned to actually TALK to people?

Nanny0gg · 04/03/2020 09:41

@SilverySurfer

Helpful

SilverySurfer · 04/03/2020 11:52

NannyOgg What part isn't true?

Original poster

cherryontop94 · 04/03/2020 11:58

booberella and silverysurfer things are not always as black and white and perfect as I'm sure some of you like to make out. people come on here to get advice - not sure if you saw the part that I am planning to leave and have tried before but i really struggle with the guilt tripping from him and his mum.
also read posts by other poster chinks who is in a hard situation

I literally have nowhere to go right now and am on maternity leave so not alot of money. I posted on here just to give myself a bit more resolve that I am in fact not overreacting and leaving is certainly the right thing to do so that if I start feeling bad/guilty again I can reread this and give myself strength.

actually he has got much much worse since we had a baby as I'm sure is true for a lot of people who maybe underestimate what being a parent entails. it has also opened my eyes to the child like behaviour a lot more now I have an actual real like child who relies on me.

thanks for your compassion and help though, may your lives, choices and options forever be simple

OP posts:

Original poster

cherryontop94 · 04/03/2020 13:42

@SilverySurfer @Booberella9*

OP posts:

mbosnz · 04/03/2020 13:45

Good luck to you cherryontop, I hope those ducks manage to line themselves up in a nice tidy row for you, sooner rather than later.

Moanranger · 04/03/2020 14:00

Cherry Is is clear that right now it would be very difficult lo leave. So have a plan in place that allows you to leave in the future, maybe at end of Mat leave when you can go back to work. Find RL support. Distance yourself from those that undermine you. Visit a divorce lawyer for your free half hour consultation. Gather all financial records & store in safe place, probably off-site. And anything else you need to do to get out at some point. Develop some strategies for not allowing his behaviour to get under your skin. I would suggest you start distancing yourself from him emotionally, as this will decrease your anger, etc at his behaviour. Plenty of people have trodden your path, so you can do this. Good luck!

Isthistrueor · 04/03/2020 14:08

A lot of men do get worse when a baby comes along and by that stage it’s obviously too late to change the decision to procreate. It’s quite common, I resent how much women are blamed for absolutely everything as well. You know, like it’s your fault he’s such a childish dickhead because you shouldn’t have had a child with him .

He’s obviously a huge man child, I doubt he’ll change. You need to weigh up your options really, whether you can go on living like this or whether you want more from life.

Original poster

cherryontop94 · 04/03/2020 14:12

thanks moan I'm meeting my mum later today to see if there is any way we could return there at some point until I can get back on my feet from a money point of view. it's hard to think straight on such little sleep, my dd is teething and going through a regression right now which doesnt help! will definitley try distance myself on an emotional level as I'm strung out already

OP posts:

Whatsnewpussyhat · 04/03/2020 14:40

The reason his mum guilt trips you is because SHE doesn't want him back.

Your answer to her should be, "We are no longer in a relationship. Not my problem"

Any crap about him doing anything stupid, tell them her if she is so concerned she can call the police.

Yas01 · 04/03/2020 15:01

Hello,
I feel really sorry for you. You need to leave the relationship, he will only get worse as he ages. It's not your fault you are with someone like this, he was probably on his absolute best behaviour when you first met and once the relationship was sealed, showed his true colours. Narcissists always wear a mask in the beginning, on e they have achieved what they wanted and have you hooked, that mask slips. Please speak to women's aid and other organisations for advice. Don't waste anymore time on this man, he's not worth it. He only loves for himself and doesn't care about you or your daughter. I speak from experience, regret everyday as I didn't leave early into the relationship as i believed his lies and now feel its too late for me due to old age. Wishing you all the best, may your life become easier for you and your daughter xx

SilverySurfer · 04/03/2020 16:34

cherryontop94 I'm really pleased you have decided to send him back to his mother. Obviously you're not in a position to do that right now but you can take the time to plan for when you are ready and I wish you the very best.

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