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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my partner is a massive man child?

94 replies

cherryontop94 · 03/03/2020 11:24

just as the title says really...some recent examples:

throws controller when looses on fifa

leaves food wrappers out all over the side even though the bin is right next to it

never knows where any of his clothes are. always has to ask me. scurfs all my wardrobe up looking for specific socks and doesnt rearrange after.

sulks when in a bad mood. dd had a bad night of sleeping last night so this morning hes all I hate life, not going to your brothers later hes a prick etc you're going to need to let me sleep this afternoon because I'm getting up with her now (bare in mind I am the one who gets up with her during the night so was exhausted this morning

these are just a few examples.

aibu to find this behaviour really of putting and to be debating if I want to stay or are they petty things that can be overlooked?

I think it's especially since I've had dd just feels like another person to look after

OP posts:

smartiecake · 03/03/2020 12:34

His mum is also enabling his pathetic behaviour. And that old 'he will do something stupid' thats to control you as well and to control your behaviour.
The throwing a strop because he cant find a pair of socks is enough for me. Ffs you have an extra child to look after with him! You deserve an adult who behaves like an adult not him and his appalling behaviour

Frenchw1fe · 03/03/2020 12:34

Has he got a dominant dm who has spoiled him?

If my dh threw himself on the sofa in a huff I’d laugh at him and tell him he’s acting like a toddler. How would he react if you laughed?
My dh occasionally gets a grump on but soon gets over it when I tease him.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/03/2020 12:34

She’s not the one living with him and his pathetic behaviour. If she’s so fucking worried about him she can take him in and mother him. It’s not your job to do so. You have a baby, she’s your responsibility, he’s not.

Honestly, you know this isn’t okay. He’s not going to change because he has no reason to.

Prisonbreak · 03/03/2020 12:35

My ex was like this. I got out and I’m so much happier!

AryaStarkWolf · 03/03/2020 12:36

He sounds a bit like my 15 year old but my 15 year old isn't even that bad tbh

Frenchw1fe · 03/03/2020 12:36

Perhaps next time he loses his socks you should ring his dm to come find them for him.

dottiedodah · 03/03/2020 12:37

FFS hes an absolute loser ! I am usually the last person to shout LTB but in this case youve no option .How old is he ? He sounds like a badly behaved 10 year old to me .Honestly love, he will only get worse as time goes on .Can you talk to your family at all ,maybe go back home with DD while you make plans ? .Ignore his family they are probably fed up with him as well!

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 03/03/2020 12:37

My only question is Why on Earth Did You Have a baby with such a poor specimen of manhood? Leave him, it won't get better.

Lunafortheloveogod · 03/03/2020 12:39

He must spunk atleast £50 notes each time? Even then I think I’d have locked him in a shed for my own sanity.

He’s not 5, he’d be told that and so would she.. your mental health and your daughters is worth more than a man child’s tantrum.

MaxNormal · 03/03/2020 12:40

He sound horrific! Total man-baby, your skin must crawl if he comes anywhere near you. Please just do yourself a massive favour and kick him out.

Original poster

cherryontop94 · 03/03/2020 12:41

I think she just doesnt want to have to deal with him herself. he rings her up asking for stuff all the time so probably likes the fact she can share the load.

I do really wanna get out truthfully but I honestly dont know where to go. I havent got space at my parents and I have little dd with me. also how do you handle the guilt tripping? I always end up feeling bad and getting upset myself and inevitably going back on myself hoping itll be okay because I end up feeling like I've done something nasty!?

OP posts:

BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/03/2020 12:41

Throws himself on the sofa with his hand over his face over a pair of socks , how did you stop from wetting yourself with laughter!!

GinDrinker00 · 03/03/2020 12:45

He throws his controller when he looses at fifa? What is he 5? Is he your toy boy or something?
Him and his mum sound like narcs. Leave him, go to the council if you have nowhere else to go they have to help you. As to regards to the guilt trip, simple don’t answer the calls or texts. Just say “I will be in contact in a few days regarding contact with DD when we’re settled until then do not contact me.”

HollowTalk · 03/03/2020 12:46

He throws himself on the sofa over a pair of socks? He's like a two year old!

AryaStarkWolf · 03/03/2020 12:48

Would your parents squeeze you two in somewhere while you get yourself back on your feet? (are you renting with your partner?) Remember you're raising a daughter in this environment, you don't want her to grow up thinking that behaviour is normal

UYScuti · 03/03/2020 12:48

His mum wants you to do with him so that she doesn't have to....

TraumaQ · 03/03/2020 12:48

if we cant find said pair of socks as an example "were not going" and throws himself on sofa hand over face ignoring me

I think you should put this up as gigantic neon light up posters all over your mind as a reminder of how ridiculous his behaviour is.

I'd expect that from a 6 year old, not a grown adult with his own child(ren).

How the fuck does he function in life? I bet he doesn't sit down on the floor in Barclays and kick his heels if they tell him he can't withdraw money he doesn't have

UYScuti · 03/03/2020 12:50

How do you handle the guilt tripping?
You see it for what it is... a technique designed to keep you there so that he can exploit you

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/03/2020 13:06

No matter how complicated it is you do it for your daughter. It’s not her fault she’s got a useless father. But it’s your job to mitigate the damage to her by ending the relationship.

LukeSkywalkingOnTheseHaters · 03/03/2020 13:24

LTB

vhs95 · 03/03/2020 13:30

I'm in my 60s and can't quite get used to adult men playing computer games tbh let alone losing their rag over it. The old-fashioned side of me says why isn't he cutting the grass, building a shed, washing the car or cooking dinner. Sorry, not helpful I know! Good luck.

LagunaBubbles · 03/03/2020 13:37

thanks for honest responses - sometimes when I think about things in my head I think am I overreacting but it's truly exhausting

Do you have issues that would make you feel you are over reacting because obviously you're not.

WellGoshDarnIt · 03/03/2020 13:40

Does he have a job? If he does, is he a massive baby there as well?

tiggerkid · 03/03/2020 13:42

feel a bit trapped because his mum is really on me too, whenever I've threatened to or even disappeared for a few hours she rings everyone who knows me saying how worried she is about my partner that hes going to do something stupid and manages to convince me that its not as bad as I think then gets all his family on board too then I question myself

His mother clearly knows it won't be easy to hand him over to someone else after you! Once you aren't enjoying the relationship most of the time, you really ought to get out and move on.

Chinks123 · 03/03/2020 13:46

Dp is exactly the same. Well he doesn’t throw himself on the sofa when he can’t find socks, but the throwing controllers and smashing headsets when he loses (costs a fortune every time.)
Had a go at me earlier when he couldn’t find his keys, even though I hadn’t even touched them, because I have to find everything. If something goes wrong he starts shouting and stomping around, and woke ds from his nap. The keys were on the sofa...where he’d left them.

This thread has caught me at a bad time but I’m in tears, and so fed up. I did leave years ago but went back and had another dc, so I sort of feel I’ve made my bed (literally because he does sod all) now I have to lie in it for another 50 years.

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