Hold me back - dyspraxic DS is in the kitchen...

[QueenOfOversharing]

Oh God. DS (21) is dyspraxic (among other things) & he wanted to make macaroni cheese. [we're having a really difficult time of late, so I'm thinking "yay, bonding, sideways talk"]

I've had to sit down in the living room. I may need to go for a walk.

I started him off, making a roux. All good. Then adding milk. Was going great. I saw a few lumps, but hey, do not step in with a spoon, Queen.

I went to sip my coffee & hear "errrrr it's a bit lumpy..." so I pop through & it is like a huge jelly made of pus. He is poking at it with the spoon. There is zero stirring going on. Poking.

I've had to offer help step in - but he is now about to eat macaroni with cheesy jelly. 🤢 I had to taste it. He is eating it "that's really good!" I am trying to look delighted for him I might need a Valium & a lie down

I used to joke with a mum friend at how difficult we found letting our kids do stuff when they are clearly not doing it right - I had hoped I was past that stage. Clearly fucking not 🤦🏼‍♀️

Please can you share your culinary (or otherwise) disasters.

I’m dyspraxic and I’ve given up on roux and make my mac and cheese with cream cheese as a base. Much less angst!!!

@waggydog21 ok, this is the information I never knew I needed!! Thank you. Bless him, but he stirs with one hand & doesn't use the other hand at all... it's one of his things & I honestly don't know how he gets through the day sometimes 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Honestly I’m a nightmare in the kitchen for making mess and getting in a flap and I try to make things as simple as I can. Cream cheese and a bit of water and you’re laughing!

My sister once put dry weetabix n nutella in the microwave n wondered why it was smoking lol.

I'm dyspraxic and really struggle with cooking, I did manage to force myself to learn how to make a good mac and cheese (because I love it so much) but my god it took me ageeeesssss

Strangely, I'm fine with baking... !

@waggydog21 I do feel for you. I know how difficult it is for him, but I have to bite my tongue so I don't say anything!

@Tooyoungforthisshit Hahahaha! What was she trying to make? It sounds delicious.

Although, that being said, I was terrible at baking to begin with too but received lots of praise and encouragement. Keep being positive OP, he'll get there!

I’ve heard that doing separate things with two hands with dyspraxia can is really hard. So good things to practice are doing drumming on a table with alternate hands. Dyspraxia must be so frustrating for people who have it.

@LucyAutumn people don't realise do they? I obviously saw he was struggling when he was little, but some of his quirks do make me laugh. And him! I should have thought making mac & cheese wasn't going to be easy.

He does shortbread - but it's 4 ingredients & he does it all by hand (good for his hand strength too).

Spread it on a baking tray, wait till it cools and solidifies, then cut into chunks, roll in bread crumbs and deep fry.

He’s inadvertently created a culinary masterpiece I think.

I feel you though, my brothers dyspraxic an the temptation to just step in and do it yourself almost overcomes you at times.

Easy cheese sauce - heat up creme fraiche gently in a pan on the hob. Stir in grated cheese until melted. Done.

(I do not have dyspraxia, just too lazy / impatient to make it using a roux)

A whizz with a hand held blender can get all the lumps out fast - may need to cook it for a bit longer afterwards but it's top for getting rid of lumps. Also warm milk goes less lumpy than cold milk onto the roux

Use a whisk for the roux. Works every time.

@KidCaneGoat best thing my DS did was his tutor taught him to juggle. It's to do with crossing the midline and coordinating the hands. I should try to get him to practice it again.

@BanjoStarz that actually sounds incredible! Though the thought of him deep frying is giving me the fear 😂😂

Cornflour is much easier as you mix it with water and add it at the end, after mixing the milk and cheese and everything.

Fair play to him, and you, it can be nerve wracking watching alright and you don't want to take over because it completely deflates them and they never want to try again.

My eldest ds has dyslexia and dyspraxia, when he's buttering bread, he uses one hand, the bread ends up flying all around, the butter is not spread and is in a lump, most times it ends up with a big hole in it. When cooking he can't use two hands, it's so dangerous, pans flying across the cooker, food not mixed properly, taking so much time to read and re read and re read methods and ingredients that the food starts burning. Poking is their thing, stirring and spreading is nearly impossible.

@BeBesideTheSea this sounds perfect (for me too). Thank you. I'm glad I posted, now I'm getting cooking tips!!

@FreeButtonBee I should have thought if mixer / whisk thingy!! I did remember warm milk.

@ThatsWotSheSaid that's my poor planning! 🤦🏼‍♀️

@CheshireChat oh, that's a good tip. Thank you!

@Lipz OMG that's making me so uncomfortable just reading it! I know it so well. The spreading butter thing - he makes it look so difficult.

I honestly do feel for anyone with dyspraxia / dyslexia - it makes everything so tough. I know my DS would be exhausted just trying to do the littlest things.

I have dyspraxia and I can make an AMAZING roux. I am also 29 and only just cracked it last year after moving out at 17 lol. All in all 12 years but it was worth the wait

I'm dyspraxic and make a bloody good roux. It just takes ages and ages to do.

@atomicblonde30 haha! You need to start a YouTube teaching fellow dyspraxics how to do stuff like this. I mean, 12 years for a roux, how long til your video on meringue? 😂

To be fair to him, DS does do a mean chilli and bolognese (not mixed together 😳). It has taken ages. Chopping things is difficult. Today's cheese grating was painful to watch.

DS3 isn’t dxed with dyspraxia but the family is neurodiverse. He can’t spread butter, stir cake mixture, tie his shoelaces or write much without pain. The most noticeable thing is he really struggles opening a packet of crisps. He’s such a sweetie, though.