Hold me back - dyspraxic DS is in the kitchen...

[QueenOfOversharing]

Oh God. DS (21) is dyspraxic (among other things) & he wanted to make macaroni cheese. [we're having a really difficult time of late, so I'm thinking "yay, bonding, sideways talk"]

I've had to sit down in the living room. I may need to go for a walk.

I started him off, making a roux. All good. Then adding milk. Was going great. I saw a few lumps, but hey, do not step in with a spoon, Queen.

I went to sip my coffee & hear "errrrr it's a bit lumpy..." so I pop through & it is like a huge jelly made of pus. He is poking at it with the spoon. There is zero stirring going on. Poking.

I've had to offer help step in - but he is now about to eat macaroni with cheesy jelly. 🤢 I had to taste it. He is eating it "that's really good!" I am trying to look delighted for him I might need a Valium & a lie down

I used to joke with a mum friend at how difficult we found letting our kids do stuff when they are clearly not doing it right - I had hoped I was past that stage. Clearly fucking not 🤦🏼‍♀️

Please can you share your culinary (or otherwise) disasters.

My DS (13) is dyspraxic AND has ADD, and he loves to cook So, nothing in a recipe is done in order, he 'forgets' that something needs doing at certain times, and the kitchen looks like a bomb site at the end. Fortunately, most of the things he's tried have turned out OK, but he practically has to tie me to a chair in the other room so I don't micromanage him to death! 😂

@QueenOfOversharing I’d say 10-15 but worth the wait

@MillicentMartha me and my son have dyspraxia, I taught him to pop the corner of the bag like my mum taught me. Works really well for the most part.

Good trick, atomicblonde!

@MillicentMartha luckily, my DS was under so much scrutiny with health stuff that it was picked up.

@Sweetbabycheezits Hahahaha! In my experience, it doesn't get better! I follow him round the house - it's like a fucking Tasmanian devil has had a party. 😂

@atomicblonde30 you'd get less for murder!! 😂

You should set up tips for fellow dyspraxics - we found ways to work round some stuff. It's amazing that whole "necessity is the mother of invention" thing.

If you freeze bread and then butter it, it is much easier, no holes and when the bread thaws it is as good as if it were fresh.

Not dyspraxic but take buttered frozen bread to work to have with my soup.

@QueenOfOversharing wow I didn’t know about the juggling. It’s a great idea.

There are loads of gadgets and easy grip things that can help anyone with poor grip and/or poor co-ordination, often they're not well-publicised, so I thought i'd have a look round my kitchen to see if there's anything that may help anyone else. Over the years I've bought all of these, although not necessarily from the linked suppliers, do shop around, and some of the gadgets and grips do help a lot. I won't generalise as it depends on each person's difficulty, but some of these mean the difference between someone being able to do a task or not in my kitchen.

Sometimes physically holding spoons forks etc. can be a problem, do any of you find kitchen implements with larger easy grip handles help?
Oxo Good Grips range is pretty good, we also have bread and kitchen knives with a 'saw' type grip like these www.completecareshop.co.uk/products/channel/reflex-preparation-knife.jpg

or these www.completecareshop.co.uk/products/channel/easi_grip_knives_full_set.jpg

and I have found caring cutlery in an adult size that doesn't have just the plain "institutional" beige handles www.nrshealthcare.co.uk/eating-drinking-aids/cutlery-aids/kura-care-adult-cutlery-set

Not surprised this auto stir gadget is out of stock, it does stir but it vibrates and rattles around the pan really loudly, but if someone cannot stir, it's better than nothing. Doubt if it would be any good for a roux though. www.amazon.co.uk/Generic-Kitchen-Utensil-Automatic-Shipping/dp/B06XNWY6SS'?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Whisks, there are some which work by pushing on the handle rather than rotating the hand e.g. www.amazon.co.uk/KitchenCraft-Stainless-Steel-Mechanical-Push-Action/dp/B00C226F9E?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

This holds a slice of bread still whilst you use one hand to spread butter or soft filling www.completecareshop.co.uk/kitchen-aids/food-preparation-aids/one-handed-spreader-board

Kettle tippers can be useful, although the one I have fit the old electric kettle base but does not adjust far enough to fit the new one.

Foam grips for slipper handles can help www.amazon.co.uk/Tensay-GripProvides-Comfortable-Securegrip-Essentials/dp/B07RGQR7W4/ref=pd_sbs_21_img_1/257-8584892-2476326?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I'd never be without a roll of non-slip matting for bowls when mixing and loads of other uses. www.amazon.co.uk/New-Multipurpose-Non-Slip-Mat-Furniture/dp/B00AVJ9GBY/ref=pd_sbs_201_t_0/257-8584892-2476326?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

My dyspraxic 20 year old is the same.
He gets it from me so we are both as challenged as each other.

I think he's the only one who doesn't judge me and vice versa. We are hopelessly uncoordinated. The kitchen will look like a war zone after cooking. I always misjudge things and end up with it down the cupboards and in the floor.

I do enjoy cooking with him. It's the thing we do.

A dyspraxic that can juggle? Well he is doing better then me. I am not severly Dyspraxic, but have a nice bruise fo waling into a door handle. And a new onw where I go the edge of a bin. (Spatial awareness not my thing.) Cooking that comes with practice.

I'm pretty uncoordinated, albeit not dyspraxic and my mum still occasionally has to leave the room when I'm cooking .

And teaching me to knit was... Painful .

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime I love that!!!

@KidCaneGoat it's about laterality - the coordination of your hands with each other across from one side of the body to the other. I swear to you - his maths learning shot ahead exponentially when he was doing it. The same tutor taught him chess too & he got really good at it.

When DD started cooking simplest mac n cheese recipe. 1 cup macaroni to 2 and a half cups milk till macaroni ready then stir in 1 cup cheese!

@BlankTimes thank you for these!! I'm going to have a look through & save them.

@planningaheadtoday I love that you can understand each other with it. I hate getting really stressed, I try so hard to shut up.

@june2007 he was no way able to do it when he started. His tutor somehow knew it would help him. It helped improve so much for him - even totally unrelated stuff. Might be worth trying.

@CheshireChat the very thought of teaching him knitting makes me want to run away!! 😂

DS has thus far refused to learn to drive. Which is fine as we live in London, but I suggested learning automatic, but he doesn't want to.

I hear you op - there are days my nerves are shredded from stepping back to let dd2 try to do things and the ensuing destruction bless her.

She cracked sort of riding a bike - but not the steering part and promptly ride into a lamp post... Twice. Flounced off muttering that "there are too many lamp posts in this park" bless her.

I’m not dyspraxia [ds is though) and I’ve not made a roux in years. Cheats method- milk, butter and cornflour (mixed into cold milk to a paste) all in, bring heat up, stirring, et voila suddenly white sauce!

I do it this way. mix the flour and milk in a cup and pour this into melted butter. as it heats just stir. no lumps whatsoever. It's making the roux first that gets it lumpy.
well done to ds for trying.

@youwouldthink - do you mean that you boil the mac in the milk until it's cooked? If so that's genius! (I'm just too lazy to make white sauce).

Sorry to derail OP - I have a dyspraxic and so I feel your pain. I was grimy satisfied at parents' evening when the home ec teacher complained about the total inability to do anything in the kitchen - at least it wasn't just me who struggled to teach her anything....

well done to your son!! mine made mac cheese for the first time today! i taught him to melt the butter and milk in a pan and then whisk in flour bit by bit until it thickens, then add the grated cheese. no lumps doing it this way! it was delicious and had bacon bits in it too!!

I am a little uncomfortable with this thread. I am absolutely sure it is unintentional but on reading it, it feels a bit like 'Awww, look at those funny dyspraxic people trying to do normal things like normal people. Watch the mess they make when they fail, bless their lesser little hearts'

I say this as a dyspraxic person who struggles a lot and the idea that people might be watching me with an amused patronising smile hurts.

Delia’s All in one method is great. DD has dyspraxia and now older is brilliant in the kitchen, love her food.

cheat method (suitable for people like me ) dd taught this at her school
it isn't exactly the same but it is pretty good (haven't got measurements but look this up) cold milk into saucepan add flour & marg (& mixed spice & salt & pepper) gradually heat milk slowly stir & keep stirring with fork until smooth & heat until slow simmer - simmer & keep stirring when thick enough & cooked through add grated cheese (you can add finely chopped onion when stirring) - cooking with someone who is dyspraxic or has ADHD/ADD is -um -interesting (definitely a two cups of tea job - I am teetotal or teatotal )

@ISaySteadyOn feel uncomfortable if you want, but that's a huge reach. I wasn't asking v for dyspraxic tales of cooking disasters, but obvs ppl recognise it.

@Kuponut my DS managed a bike quite quickly - which at the time made me think his dx was wrong. Though, skateboards. 🤭