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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say no to babysitting

114 replies

Noni8 · 01/03/2020 10:58

Sister and I have always had a strained relationship. She seems cold and distant most of the time. Never any warmth from her however we stay in contact and plan things for our children to do together. I have 2 DC, 4 & 6. Her DC are 12 & 13. I looked after her kids one evening last month. I won't go into all the details but at one point my 13 year old nephew was misbehaving and winding little ones up, calling them names and swearing etc and I told him off. At end of the evening everything was fine and my sister came to pick them up.

The next time I saw my sister she told me I had no right speaking to her children in the way I did and they were crying for hours that night (??) because of me! She said I had ruined their week. I gave her the reasons for telling them off and she said I should have come to her first. I said they were misbehaving in front of me in my house so of course I told them off. Her 12 year old then interrupted in the background saying I wasn't her mum and how dare I tell her off! Hmm My sister let her speak to me in that way and then asked me if I think my kids always come to me whenever something is wrong and have a one sided view. I said maybe but they are 4 and 6, that's normal! I said they don't lie to which she replied 'oh yes they do!' At one point her 13 year old interrupted and my sister replied 'just don't hang around with (my DC) again.' I couldn't believe my sister actually said this. I also want to be clear the whole evening was not me telling her kids off, this happened 3 times max and I also told my own DC to play nicely etc and the rest of the evening consisted of them all playing a game then watching a film. They left smiling. I really am still in shock by this phone call. It seemed like a huge emotional outburst from nowhere. I later received a text message from my sister apologising saying she had a bad day (ironically she is constantly telling her DC off and seems stressed with parenting).

However, after this I vowed never to babysit again and to have a long break from communicating with my sister. I have just received another request to babysit her kids. After all she said I'm surprised she has even asked. How do I politely decline? I want to be firm and say I cannot do that after the last time and all that was said, which I'm still very upset by. But I also don't want another emotional outburst and all this ridiculous drama. Thank you!

OP posts:
mummmy2017 · 01/03/2020 15:48

We need to put the children first, better if you get another baby sitter.

Mix56 · 01/03/2020 16:07

"Not a chance, you know why"

QueenofallIsee · 01/03/2020 16:12

I wouldn’t, not after last time! Don’t do it OP, not for argumentative teens who have been given a clear message by their parent that you are not to be respected. I am sure she was sincere in her apology to you, but it doesn’t undo the damage she did

partofthepeanutgallery · 01/03/2020 16:29

She only texted to apologise for her 'bad day' because she realised she needed you to babysit her entitled brats again.

Just say no, no reason needed. She knows.

Noni8 · 01/03/2020 16:46

Oh gosh, I didn't expect this thread to get so many comments. 100% Ianbu Shock Thank you all. I will respond now.

OP posts:
glueandstick · 01/03/2020 16:48

Replies above are perfect. What a cheeky cow!

Fuckmesideways · 01/03/2020 20:08

@Noni8 did you get any flack from her?

NoFucksImAQueen · 01/03/2020 21:14

Also wondering what you said and if she replied

Noni8 · 01/03/2020 21:19

No response yet BlushConfused

OP posts:
itsallthedramaMickiloveit · 01/03/2020 21:21

What did you say?

billy1966 · 01/03/2020 21:51

OP, wouldn't dream of it after your sister and her bratty children's behaviour.

That ship has sailed.

She sounds like she feels you are her punching bag after a bad day.

Big mistake.

Sleepingboy · 01/03/2020 21:55

What did you say though?

Alyic · 01/03/2020 22:14

Reply 'After last time, not a fucking chance'

Rosspoldarkssaddle · 01/03/2020 22:37

After that performance, uh, no.
It was bad enough they went lying to her but for them to do it again on the call and not once did she tell them to stop or ask you if there was an issue with them before slating you? No.
After last time, I think not sister.

PepsiLola · 01/03/2020 22:58

Curious to what you texted back OP...

Mamawingingit1234 · 01/03/2020 23:10

Oh you have to tell us what you said

Mix56 · 02/03/2020 07:41

Dreaming it was,
"I will mot have your foul mouthed children giving my children that example, they have since lied about their behaviour, & you have insulted me by not calling them out on it.
Find another sucker"

Noni8 · 02/03/2020 07:48

Oh it was short but clear. I said after last time I didn't think it was a good idea. I now feel relieved I don't have to babysit again! Such a load of drama. I want a quiet life Grin

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre · 02/03/2020 07:52

You’re not being unreasonable to not babysit.
YABU to think your kids never lie. I’m a reception teacher and most 5 ish year olds lie.

ffswhatnext · 02/03/2020 08:00

I would have laughed at the request.
And children don’t lie 🤣

Chickychickydodah · 02/03/2020 08:14

Just laugh at her and say no!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 02/03/2020 11:56

Nice and succinct.

Well done.

WindyScales · 02/03/2020 16:08

Has she come back to you?

Tistheseason17 · 02/03/2020 18:49

Well done, OP.

strongteawith2sugars · 02/03/2020 19:12

Intrigued to see her reply