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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People using lifts

455 replies

Aquarius1619 · 29/02/2020 18:59

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2020 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clpsmum · 01/03/2020 08:33

@Aquarius1619 no not nitpicking simply pointing out the fact. As somebody that has lived with meltdowns for the past decade it's a pet hate of mine when people describe a tantrum as a meltdown they are two completely different things.

Personally think it is absolute craziness that people are waiting twenty minutes for a lift and it's not something I would be doing if there were any other suitable alternative tbh. Also absolutely rubbish that people weren't letting more obviously needy people such as yourself, disabled, elderly etc jump the queue and get in the lift first

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/03/2020 08:35

Thanks Francis. I think op is getting very upset now also judging by her unwarranted response to clp. I don’t want to make this a pile on. I don’t recall her being a particularly snippy person in the past.

Burgerandchipvan · 01/03/2020 08:36

I understand OP! There's a family museum here with signs that say priority for wheelchair and buggy users and every time the lift came it was jam packed with families - I understand if there is one person who can't walk up or down the stairs but why can't the rest of you manage it? We ended up wedging DH & the buggy in and I went up the stairs. I grew up with a parent who used a wheelchair and if the lift was busy, me and my sibling would go and run up the stairs or go on the escalator to meet our parents.

Thurmanmurman · 01/03/2020 08:42

In the shopping centre near me there are often drug addicts who hang out on the stairwell. There have occasionally been needles left etc. There's no way I'm using a he stairs as it's intimidating and disgusting to see. My DS 7 is not a fan of lifts but I insist because I'm not walking past smack heads with my children. I would always let a wheelchair user or a buggy in front of us though.

Quicklittlenamechange · 01/03/2020 08:46

Surely people queing or in a lift know better than you do whether they need to use a lift Confused
Its not your call to judge or call people lazy.

Massive, massive assumptions OP and quite rightly you have had your arse handed to you .

adriennewillfly · 01/03/2020 08:46

Why didn't you just ask the people around you? Most people are reasonable if asked.

adriennewillfly · 01/03/2020 08:46

I mean to let you in the lift next.

KahlanRahl · 01/03/2020 08:51

Yanbu OP. This is Mumsnet so I expect 8 pages in there have been all these different reasons why people have to use a lift rather than an escalator (I've never been to a shopping mall or department store where there haven't been both).

So can OP though.

Basically, I think you're wrong to want to police people just because you had to wait with a tantrumming child. It happens.

Arthritica · 01/03/2020 09:11

OP, I think you are dramatically underestimating the number of people with reasons to need the lift who appear fine to a casual observer.

Those people in the queue ahead of you presumably had to wait just as long, and had they been able to use the stairs to their parking level, they would have rather than stand about for 20 minutes. If one of their group had mobility issues, it would be natural to wait together.

You don’t get to queue jump because you have a pushchair. YANBU to be frustrated by the wait, but YABU to make assumptions.

LolaSmiles · 01/03/2020 09:11

I think lifts should be like parental and disabled parking spaces, you can only use them if you have a child or a disability. People are just lazy!
Yes I'm sure people in the following categories who wouldn't make your cut are just lazy:

  • someone with an injury
  • someone with asthma who is struggling with chest pain
  • someone who has had recent surgery but needs to be mobile and try to get some errands done

Don't get me wrong, we all know that people can be lazy but advocating some sort of lift police is just silly frothing.

Let's have a queue at every level change point where the lift police decide who is worthy or unworthy of the lift. 😂
"I'm sorry m'aam, you see whilst you may feel a tightness across you chest and want to get back to your car, put the heaters on and get home having abandoned half your trip, we are afraid you must take the stairs because someone has a tantruning child."

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 01/03/2020 09:20

make out I have an issue with people who need to use a lift - using a lift! Totally not what I’m saying

The whole point is though, lifts aren’t just for those with disabilities, hidden or otherwise, and parents with prams. If I want to use one just because I don’t want to walk up 5 flights with my shopping and children, then I will! Or if it’s one flight and no bags or children (less likely granted!) then I will!

Charlottejbt · 01/03/2020 09:21

YANBU. It's highly unlikely that all the buggy-less non-old lift users had hidden disabilities. Five flights of stairs is hardly Mount Everest!

I'm glad I don't need a buggy any more. People are pretty inconsiderate.

PurpleDaisies · 01/03/2020 09:22

Hidden disabilities etc aren’t relevant here.

There was no sign saying the lifts were for those who needed them. Anyone was entitled to use them. As long as people weren’t pushing in front of the op, nobody did anything wrong.

BubblyBarbara · 01/03/2020 09:26

Like everyone else in this thread, I also have invisible knee arthritis, secret shattering of the pelvis, a phobia of stairs and my non disclosed autism means I need space around me when I’m in a lift but I have a phobia of explaining why, so YABU

CeeceeBloomingdale · 01/03/2020 09:31

No disabilities here but more than a couple of floors would mean I'd use the lift as that's a lot of stairs. They aren't just for buggies

couchlover · 01/03/2020 09:35

I am bringing my children up to not use the lift unless we have to. I often say to them we are healthy and our legs work which many people would love to be/have so we should save the lifts for people who actually need them.

Crazychocolatelady · 01/03/2020 09:36

Anybody is allowed to use a lift. I use the lift whether I have DS or not because i need to. I can use the stairs if I have to but prefer not to as I have a heart condition and some days are worse than others so I'm just unable. I'm 21 so I look young and healthy so I have to deal with judgy people like you thinking I'm just lazy. Everybody has their reasons so like it or not you're just going to have to deal with it.

Snowpatrolling · 01/03/2020 09:41

I use lifts due to a prolapse in my spine. Walking around you wouldn’t really notice I had one but if I use stairs I’m in agony after 2/3 steps.
So I would be that person your whinging about but if I used the stairs I’d be out of action for days!

jellycatspyjamas · 01/03/2020 09:48

I use the lift because I want to, and there’s no law saying I can’t.

hyperhyper · 01/03/2020 09:52

Mmm, I was in a bad road accident in my early twenties, and have had two decades of pain on stairs, and officious people glaring at me in a lift queue or telling me meaningfully how the world would be better if everyone took the stairs more.

I totally understand your frustration at having to wait, but try thinking of it like this - having a buggy with you is a temporary problem that will go away in a few years. You're not going to spend much of your life trapped in a lift queue if you don't want to be, however frustrating it is at the time.

AuntyMcAoife · 01/03/2020 09:58

I kind of agree with you OP and that's coming from someone with MS.

However, bottom line is anyone can use a lift if they want to.

LolaSmiles · 01/03/2020 10:01

BubblyBarbara
Aren't people sharing their reasons that may not be obvious just pointing out the illogical nature of those thinking there's the categories of deserving and undeserving lift users.

Given the choice I use the stairs because I'm too lazy to wait in a queue for the lifts. If I'm sore from the gym and would rather use the lifts then I'll use a lift. When I was recovering from my caesarian I used lifts lots and would consider any eye rolling or tutting from anyone to be their problem, not mine.

They are available for all people to use so people getting annoyed they had to wait because people were using them are being silly.

starfishmummy · 01/03/2020 10:02

YABU for all the reasons previously mentioned. However I do understand your frustration. My son is disabled - he may be in his wheelchair or sometimes not - he can walk on the flat but cant manage stairs or escalators so we have to use the lifts.

In our shopping centre, if you are not on the ground floor when wanting to go up to the car park floors, then you have no chance of getting in. Its quicker to get in an almost empty one going down and then stay in to go back up.

Shakirasma · 01/03/2020 10:03

Just thinking about my immediate family, every one of whom is able bodied;
Stairs hurt my knees but I'm claustrophobic so will use the stairs for less than 3 floors
DDs will always use the stairs
DS has autism and poor spatial awareness. He hangs off your arm all the time so its safer to use the lift.
DH has had a full knee replacement, he walks perfectly ok but stairs would cause pain so he needs to use the lift.
DM and DF are both 79, in good health and would probably use the stairs for 1 floor but their old joints would suffer if any more.
DSis has 2 kids, youngest is 2 and in a buggy and oldest has seen and wont leave his mums side so they would use the lift.

So if we were out together where you were, parked on the 3rd floor or higher out of a family of 10 able bodied people, 8 of us would be queuing for the lift.