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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People using lifts

455 replies

Aquarius1619 · 29/02/2020 18:59

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

OP posts:
EvaHarknessRose · 01/03/2020 10:05

I just think a lot of these places are designed with the lift as default, and not mainly for people with disabilities and parents, so I don't think anyone was doing anything wrong. But waiting so long, especially if anyone pushed in front of you, must have been really annoying. Just one of those things though.

chinateapot · 01/03/2020 10:07

Why is it unlikely that at least a large proportion of the queue of 20 people had hidden disabilities? Sounds like a large, busy shopping centre - that’s probably not a big percentage of those actually shopping there. Also agree that anyone can use the lifts who wants to - but baffled at the idea that a buggy user should get priority or get to jump the queue. Someone with a disability feeling unwell - absolutely yes - but someone with a kid in a buggy who doesn’t like being in a buggy?

Saxineno · 01/03/2020 10:07

My local shopping centre the lifts are not adequate for the size of the shopping centre so it has big signs up saying if you can use the escalator please leave the lift for those who need it. At Christmas they even have staff managing lift queue to discourage those who don't need it! I have a hidden disability and end up using the escalator out of fear of being humiliated out of the queue!

Seasprayandsunshine · 01/03/2020 10:08

I don't begrudge anyone using a lift, what I do disagree with is massive families/groups using the very small lift up/down one or two small flights of stairs when there are elderly, disabled, people with pram's waiting.

When we are out with the pram if it's busy/small lift one of us will go in the lift, the other will find the stairs.

KahlanRahl · 01/03/2020 10:33

I also think that the OP is underestimating how many people have hidden disabilities.

woodhill · 01/03/2020 10:37

Lifts are for everyone as we are all customers of the car park and shopping centres.

However I will walk up stairs etc or wait for the lifts when I see fit particularly with heavy items.

I would try and shop when it is not so busy when possible

WalkingDeadTrainee · 01/03/2020 10:41

When there is an escalator there is no need to use lift for most people. But when it's x flights of normal stairs. Nah.

MadameMeursault · 01/03/2020 10:48

Wow I can’t believe how many selfish and lazy people there are in the world! Fine if there’s an actual reason, but using stairs is a good way to get a bit of exercise, something many people could do with.

Quicklittlenamechange · 01/03/2020 10:54

This the current way isnt it?
Outrage at people using a lift, how dare they, Ignores the fact that most people can tell for themselves whether they need to use a lift.
"You are all lazy and selfish"
But dont forget
"Be kind"
How about F*ck off with that !

isabellerossignol · 01/03/2020 10:59

Wow I can’t believe how many selfish and lazy people there are in the world!

I think most people will admit to being lazy on occasions. I know I mostly use the stairs where they're available (although in modern buildings they are often very out of the way, sometimes only accessible as fire escapes), but sometimes I'm tired and I just don't want to. Me using a lift doesn't mean that someone with a buggy or a disability can't use the lift, it just makes the lift busier, and maybe people have to wait for a while.

But selfish? On what possible logic is it selfish to use a lift for its intended purpose? Is it selfish to walk on the pavement? After all other people might want to walk on the pavement too. Selfish to go to the theatre? After all, other people might have wanted to book those seats that you got. What if you go to the shop and buy a loaf of bread? Other people might have wanted that loaf of bread.

Quicklittlenamechange · 01/03/2020 11:12

isabelle
You have nailed it !
It really means get out of my way Im more important than you Grin

Friendsofmine · 01/03/2020 11:29

Quite a sad thread really isn't. We're all people trying to get by and KOKO every day aren't we.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 01/03/2020 11:31

Again, using the lift because you want to is a good enough reason.

No need to be a permanent martyr and always put yourself behind everybody else.
Pushing people out of the way, or pushing past a wheelchair, disgraceful.
Waiting your turn to use the lift, absolutely fine.

Falcor40 · 01/03/2020 12:10

@KatherineJaneway but if the lift was too fill to get in. How could she get down?

JKScot4 · 01/03/2020 12:13

Maybe you should put your energy to use on your DD not having tantrums in her pram🙄

Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 12:16

@JKScot
Really unsure how this thread has turned in to an attack on my parenting. So many trolls on here!

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 12:17

I also assume you’re either childless or lucky enough to have a kid who had never had a tantrum then?

OP posts:
NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 01/03/2020 12:22

Lifts aren't specifically for the disabled. I wouldn't walk up/down stairs if I was on the fifth floor.

KatherineJaneway · 01/03/2020 12:23

@Falcor40

She said she was going up, nothing about the lift going to the basement or lower levels. That might have had some room in it. You get in, go to the basement, stay in until it goes back up again and when you get to the ground floor, you are there looking out at the large queue.

JKScot4 · 01/03/2020 12:24

No I have 4DC, but I’ve never let a very small child’s behaviour allow me to be an entitled arse. Calling ppl trolls because they don’t agree with your ridiculous attitude is childish, having a child doesn’t make you special or better than anyone else.

ShriekingBansheela · 01/03/2020 12:28

If we can (IF... to head off protests of dodgy knees, heavy shopping, heart murmer, vertigo etc etc) I think we should all make the stairs our first choice rather than using electricity.

But people are gormless, they see the lift and just stand there. Also the design, decor and information could do more to encourage us to use the stairs.

Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 12:33

I’m not entitled nor am I an arse and all the other things I’ve been called on this thread. It’s completely uncalled for to get personal about how I handle my child and begin name calling as others have as well. I have not been personal about anything here I’ve said if people have no illness and the lifts are rammed is it unreasonable to think maybe they should use the stairs. There really isn’t anything nasty or entitled here. I do understand people’s perspectives but the sharp and aggressive replies I have received are nasty and left me feeling like I have to defend myself because I won’t be made out to be a lazy/incapable parent because my daughter had a tantrum yesterday, whose child doesn’t?!

OP posts:
sauvignonblancplz · 01/03/2020 12:34

Most lifts say priority for pram a , wheel chairs etc. People are so lazy, take the stairs and leave the lifts for those who need them.
Also if someone with a walking stick, wheel chair or a pram was there would you not offer them first as they have no choice whereas someone who is able bodied is making a choice to use the lift.

Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 12:35

I don’t feel special or better than anyone either, I am far from that! Can not believe the tone of this

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 12:36

@sauvignonblancplz according to previous posters I was also making the choice and should’ve folded my pram and Carried that in one arm, DD in the other plus my shopping up all five flights Confused

OP posts: