People using lifts

[Aquarius1619]

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

YANBU in being annoyed OP. I had DS in a pram a few months ago and there were steps and an escalator down as well as a very long queue for the lift. Plenty of elderly people, disabled people and people with buggies. I know not every disability is visible but a lot of young fit looking people were pushing past the queue and using the fact they didn't have a buggy, shopping, a wheelchair or mobility issues to push past people in the queue. I was very annoyed when 20 people pushed past and almost knocked an elderly lady with her walking g stick over when she was in front of the queue. Sadly for them the lift got stuck and most of us made it downstairs before them. But oh how sweet karma felt.

But we are being unreasonable for being annoyed as lifts are for everyone. I guess it's just annoying as before children I never would have had to wait for a lift and preferred the stairs as they were faster. I really feel for disabled people sometimes having to wait ages for a lift and I certainly wish I had more than one option when out with a buggy.

I get this OP but I have a disability and I child that I "babywear" and it does my head in when I'm at a tube station, for example, and tons of people are using the lift.

It would take her days to recover, but being seemingly normal was vital for her psychological well-being.

Justilou
I am sorry your friend is so very poorly. Bless her, it sounds as though her life has been hell of a journey. I have ME and fibromyalgia. I totally relate to this post. One year on from my second surgery and still recovering, I no longer take days to recover from a short trip out and am able to walk my dogs in the morning (not the afternoon) yeh!! I know a mum less ill than me, who has stickers on her car, loud and proud. For me appearing normal is absolutely necessary for my mental health.

What has genuinely surprised me is the amount of people, who have turned out to this thread and said they have issues with stairs. So Bumble I actually think it’s really useful to have a thread like this.

Moomin it must be nice to sit in your ivory tower and judge us. Yes, I’m overweight and I’ve piled on weight. I’m heavier than my full term weight now by 5 kilos. And I put on 4 stone in pregnancy. I’m not choosing this weight. I am choosing not to explain why to you. Even if I did, you wouldn’t understand. Suffice to say for the most part, it isn’t due to comfort eating.

Aquarius
YABU to expect people to free up the lift. YANBU to want them to. And for them to be more considerate. A lot of people cannot understand what it is like until they have the same issue. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t get your dd out and hold her for a while. Or play with her for distraction etc.

I let anyone elderly or in a wheelchair go before me but it wouldn't occur to me to let someone with a child in a buggy go first. You don't mention being unwell or having a disability yourself so was it just because your child was having a meltdown? If that's the only reason then YABU.

@Mummyoflittledragon of course I ended up getting her out of the pram. You’ve made an assumption in your head that I stood there and just left her in the pram which is incorrect. She started to get extremely frustrated with being still and began to cry. Yes I bring distractions. Yes I pick my daughter up when she’s crying. The assumptions people make on here are ridiculous.

look at uk obesity rates, and you have your answer....

• 5 floors?

It's like asking why don't people walk 5 miles to town. Yes, they could, but it's a pain.*

Not an accurate comparison. For a start walking 5 miles would take about 1h 40m, 5 floors 1-2 mins for an able adult.

I’m a big advocate of regular activity when you can get it to stave off the ageing process. If you regularly take stairs it’s a good barometer to your fitness. People don’t stop being active because they get old, they get old because they stop being active.

Regardless, if someone wants to use the lift they are perfectly entitled. Queue jumpers can fuck off though.

YANBU. For every person with an invisible disability (most of whom appear to be on this thread), there are ten more who are just lazy feckers.

I'm not a fan of shopping and dislike crowds but sometimes you have to go but by the end I am tired and grumpy so no, I will not be walking up 5 flights of stairs when there is a lift.

Yanbu OP. This is Mumsnet so I expect 8 pages in there have been all these different reasons why people have to use a lift rather than an escalator (I've never been to a shopping mall or department store where there haven't been both).

But the fact is most people with mobility problems can use an escalator. There may be a few other exceptions but the main parties that are reliant on lifts when shopping are wheelchair users and buggy users.

I can't be bothered going to our shopping mall anymore on a weekend for this reason, as using the lifts is just too painful. I don't believe every single person in front of me has a hidden reason why they need to use the lift and not everyone is going up to the carpark (which I accept is a valid reason).

I think there needs to be better social etiquette taught, fine use the lift if you feel you need to and really can't use an escalator, but all these people who say they they'll jolly well use the lift if they want to because that's their right are bloody selfish. I expect they're also the people that use the disabled loo just because they want more space or some privacy whilst they have a poo.

*as a buggy user.

You would hate me. My son has sen and loves lifts so we often travel up and down in them just for his pleasure no necessity. Would try to avoid doing it in busy periods but anybody can use a lift. And a meltdown is a completely different thing to a tantrum

@clpsmum no I wouldn’t hate you.
It’s blindingly obvious I’m talking about people being lazy who clog the lifts when they don’t need to. Im Actually a very empathetic person. But everyone commenting about their disabilities/families extra needs that require frequent lifts are choosing to take offence to something I’m not referring to. As someone has previously posted out of the 20 or so people queueing for the lift, statistically only a small number would’ve needed to. I’m saying during busy periods wouldn’t it make more sense for people who can without making themselves ill, to just walk up the stairs? That’s simply all I’m saying. Not saying you’re unreasonable for doing that if your son enjoys it either that’s totally different to laziness and I’m sure you know that and are probably aware like everyone else, I’m not talking about people like you.
And I’m fully aware of what a tantrum is thank you. Are you really resorting to nit picking my choice of words? Basically 90% of people on here seem to have an issue with common courtesy...

I have arthritis. I'm not old and I don't look any different to anyone else. You wouldn't know to look at me. Until a recent op I also had an issue with my heart and again you wouldn't know to look at me. My Dh and teen dd would accompany me in the lift if I was using one, rather than us going separate ways. So to an outsider you'd see a normal healthy looking.m mid 40s couple and a teenager taking up room in the lift.

As you say yourself not all disabilities are visible.

Also not all medical conditions are visible either.

Perhaps you could go shopping at a quieter time?

Yesterday in your second post you admitted to taking your frustrations out on the wrong people. I’m sorry you’re getting a hard time. But your post to me really was unwarranted. I have acknowledged your frustration in both of my posts. I made an innocuous comment because I genuinely didn’t understand something. Non combative responses to such comments similar to: ‘oh I did take her out and x, y, z.’ My normal response would be ‘Oh ok, I was wondering.’

’m talking about people who DON’T need to use them for health reasons/extra luggage/peaks/mobility issues it can sometimes get annoying

I know but you really don't know who those people are. As this thread shows there are an awful lot of people with hidden health conditions, disabilities, injuries, etc. So maybe just 1 in each group of 3 or 4 had one. 1 in 4 people having some form of hidden issue really isn't beyond the realms of possibilities. You just wouldn't know, and do you then expect the rest of their party to go via the stairs and leave the one person on their own?

@FrancisCrawford
Your post did make me smile.

Oh don't be so bloody stupid, she's not going to get the kid out of the buggy and manhandle the thing up the stairs ffs.

I think lifts should be like parental and disabled parking spaces, you can only use them if you have a child or a disability. People are just lazy!

It’s blindingly obvious I’m talking about people being lazy who clog the lifts when they don’t need to.

I’m pretty sure lifts are provided as a public amenity - anyone can use them if they choose to do so. What business of yours is it whether I need to use the lift or just feel like doing so?

@Mummyoflittledragon yes I did acknowledge that in my second post because at the time people were giving me genuine responses. Since then I’ve received abuse for going shopping at all with a child, for owning/using a pram, and been called ignorant for not recognising that peoples disabilities are invisible when I have already addressed that. I felt your comment of ‘I don’t understand why you didn’t take her out of the pram’ was frustrating because on top of everything else people are saying, I’m now being seen to be inadequate in my parenting for not entertaining or seeing to my daughter. I just feel as though people just start to jump on the bandwagon of missing the point and picking at other areas of my post and filling in the gaps themselves. It’s very bizarre.

BillyWilliam
FC is disabled. She is making the point that op can use the stairs albeit it would be difficult for her. Whereas many but not all disabled people cannot. There was a post pages back of an able bodied person questioning if the should have got off a lift to let a wheelchair on. This is a general reflection of how poorly regarded disabled people are.

Cross post 😊 and ouch!!