People using lifts

[Aquarius1619]

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

I can see why you felt frustrated but you can't tell why people are using lifts. I look as though I could walk upstairs but actually I have a back problem that makes it difficult.

I remember finding this so frustrating when I had a child in a buggy. But, when it comes down to it, I had no more right to use the lift than anyone else.

YABU
I walk more than 15000 steps every day, but I have an old knee injury which means climbing or descending steps is very painful indeed. I don’t think many folk willingly would wait for ages for a lift if they could easily use the stairs.

YANBU yes people have different reasons for needing to use the lift and yes these are not always visible but when you're stood there that long waiting with your pram it's safe to say people are just being tight and not letting the mum with the oram go before them. Nobs.

So I'm one of those people who isnt disabled or has health problems that would require me to use a lift.
I will happily walk down the 5 odd flights of stairs. No problem.
But am I walking back up them not a chance... noone needs to that sweaty heavy breathing mess because my fitness levels are crap.
Add any shopping to that... the lift it is

At my work (university) I see late teens/early 20s taking the lift up one flight! I know there is nothing wrong with them as also see them at the gym classes! It puzzles me as they would be quicker taking the stairs!!

You lazy, lazy, selfish so and so‘s.

Totally unreasonable. It's irrelevant whether a person has a disability, hidden or otherwise, everyone is entitled to use a lift.

I’ve got CFS/ME. You wouldn't know it to look at me. I use lifts. But anyone should be able to. They might have flu, be too depressed to walk, or just feel like it. YABU.

I misread your post. You‘re annoyed that people used the lift, they weren’t pushing ahead but were simply in line first.

The thing is, they were equally entitled to use lifts as you, so you are unjustifiably annoyed. Your child having a “meltdown” due to being still for too long is no one else’s fault either.

As others have explained, no one needs to justify why they chose to take the lift. And looking at your list of reasons - you simply can’t be certain that anyone did not have mobility issues as these aren’t necessarily visible.

I can see why waiting around was annoying but it’s also your responsibility to mitigate this by going at quieter times or shopping online, parking on a different floor, bringing items to get your child’s attention etc. Shopping centres are always ridiculously packed on payday weekends.

Dadfodil1
The woman was right to be upset. Able bodied people should have got out to leave a space for the wheelchair. Disabled people in a wheelchair are not portable.

Aquarius
I get your frustration. I’m disabled - hidden disability. I would gladly take the stairs these days but can’t. Before I was ill, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to do so in order to give space for children in prams / pushchairs. Wheelchairs, yes.

YABU- I can walk on flat ground for ages, but up and down stairs causes pain due to arthritis. I'm only 41, but an ex-dancer and wear a heavy and sometimes painful knee brace to be able to walk. Its mostly a hidden brace, but my next option is a total knee replacement. I don't feel the need to wear a badge saying 'give me a seat' or 'I have a disability'. On trains I've often got up for others. No one needs a reason to use a lift, unless its ONLY for prams/disabled.

I have ME and cant use stairs. I look perfectly healthy. My mum has COPD and looks perfectly healthy. I have friends with hip and knee problems, they look perfectly healthy

So YABVVU

I would have offered for you to go in-front of me OP. I get it.

People should be more considerate, surely people who were physically able should have given priority to someone with a pushchair. What happened to human decency? Just because everyone has the right doesn’t mean they should exercise that right above someone who is struggling. Why can’t people just be nice?

Most people with pushchairs are “physically able”. People shouldn’t be pushing ahead but there’s no need to let them go first.

I'd have thought it's fairly obvious that if the lifts are very busy, then the people who have no option but to use them (parents with buggies, people in wheelchairs, people with mobility issues) should be prioritised
I would agree in principle, but then that's for individual to show consideration, not be judge and jury on who is deserving or not to be in the lift.

I used to hate using lifts once my children got last the pushchair stage
Now I have COPD and get very short of breath going upstairs in buildings. I might look perfectly fit but believe me I don't look very well at all after I have to climb long flights of stairs.
I have no trouble with escalators though, so tend to use them rather than a lift.

I am so glad youngest is out of his buggy now. I used to absolutely hate the queues for lifts. Around Christmas time at train stations/shopping centres it took forever and ever and ever it was so frustrating. Then the awkward ride with strangers in a tight space... ugh.

I choose the stairs whenever I have to pick up my 3yo so he's not causing a huge tailback

I’m talking about people who DON’T need to use them for health reasons/extra luggage/peaks/mobility issues it can sometimes get annoying

But you don't know if all those people in front of you were healthy or not. I was in a lift once with a colleague when we were both in our twenties. She only travelled for one stop. An elderly man then shouted at her to stop being lazy and just walk the one flight of stairs. She tgen told him that she used to have polio and could walk but couldn't do stairs. You really, really can't judge unless you're tgeir doctor.

I lost interest in this post when people started to suggest I’m wildly unreasonable for just using a pushchair for my baby and for going shopping in general with a child. Some people on this forum come here for an argument only and it’s pathetic.

I haven't read the thread.

I had leukemia as a very young adult. I was exhausted. Standing up was hard. Public transport was appalling. Getting out at a metro station and realizing there was no escalator made me cry on several occasions. Then during chemo, my hair fell out, and then my eyebrows etc. It made me very sad. It was hard as a young woman. But at least I didn't have people staring at me like I was a selfish cunt when I took one of the last seating places in the metro and didn't leave it to a woman with a toddler or a young pensioner. Losing my hair and looking sick was a blessing in disguise - because I saw all the looks I got before, when i took the lifts , and the seated spaces, and as well as being sick it made me feel like shit to be so judged.

You never know - so YABU.

Says her who came here to argue that unless you had a disability you shouldn’t use a lift...

@Aquarius1619 I voted YANBU.

I warn you, don't ever try to visit Tate Modern with a buggy! I'm a member there and gave up visiting while my kids were little. The lifts are PERMANENTLY full of perfectly able-bodied gangs of teenage (and slightly older) tourists, even though (a) the stairs are very easy and (b) there are ESCALATORS!

My kids have learned to walk up stairs/escalators from a very young age. I ditched the buggy when they got to 3 years old (speaking as a non-driver from London) as the kind of selfish behaviour you describe is ubiquitous.