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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People using lifts

455 replies

Aquarius1619 · 29/02/2020 18:59

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

OP posts:
Brettney · 01/03/2020 16:51

Nope, but I also wouldn't assume that even without the pushchair they would be able to use the stairs or an alternative means. They are still people, and has been mentioned several times throughout the thread, you cannot always tell. You can assume that they are using the lift solely because of the pram, same as many people assume other people use it just because they can but could use the stairs, when has been explained that isn't always the case.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/03/2020 16:51

@cologne4711
This thread has not filled up with with people saying why they are special.. Stop spouting disablist bollocks. I have been assessed by an occupational therapist as needing a blue badge as have some others on this thread. And even if not, it is hard to meet the legal criteria. Far fewer people have come on here and stated they are able bodied and will be using the escalator regardless. And seeing as they are entitled to use the facility, that also doesn’t make them speshul.

It would be fair to point out, however, they are only considering themselves rather than the impact on disabled people, many of whom - myself included - cannot stand for long. We don’t all use wheelchairs or even walking aids.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 01/03/2020 16:52

Everyone can use the lifts, but if it's busy and you are able to walk then i agree that the decent thing to do is not add to the volume of traffic using the lift.

why? we wait just as long as anyone else, you chose to go shopping at a busy time, you accept there will be long waits.

  • to enter car park and find space
-to find space in changing room -to pay -to go in lifts
Mummyoflittledragon · 01/03/2020 16:54

JustinCase
Why? See my post. Because your using the facility makes it very difficult if not impossible for people like me to go out. No way would I go into town on a busy day. I rarely do and I have to be having a very very good day.

PurpleDaisies · 01/03/2020 16:55

Nope, but I also wouldn't assume that even without the pushchair they would be able to use the stairs or an alternative means.

Where did I say anything like that? I was responding to someone saying they’d let people with pushchairs go in front of them. Someone with a pushchair is no more likely to have a hidden disability than someone without one.

madcatladyforever · 01/03/2020 16:56

I would always give up my space for a harrassed mum if I could, it's a bit bloody selfish just ignoring other peoples predicaments.
But then you see it all the time now people just don't care.
I'm disabled and I've stood in pain while someone lets their three kids have a seat each on the train or young blokes all seated while an elderly person stands for half an hour.
Ff's whats wrong with people now.

ffswhatnext · 01/03/2020 16:58

I found it so much easier, folding the buggy and carrying, let toddler walk or a combo of the two, and take the stairs.

Lightweight pram that I attached a strap to. Backpack to free up hands and allow the buggy to be folded and up/down we went. I only bought what I could carry in that bag.

Yes, I know but but but it was the 5th floor.
Many of us live/have lived in buildings with 5 floors or more, and either one lift that breaks down, or no lift at all.

Now when I am able to I walk up the stairs. I don't always look ill when I use the lift.

And of course, throughout my life, I have used to lift because why the fuck not? If it wasn't meant to be used, it wouldn't be there. When I lived on the seventh floor, and the only lift, when it worked, was extremly slow on a good day, I didn't care less that the people on the first were using it,.

ffswhatnext · 01/03/2020 17:07

I would always give up my space for a harrassed mum if I could, it's a bit bloody selfish just ignoring other peoples predicaments.
But then you see it all the time now people just don't care.
I'm disabled and I've stood in pain while someone lets their three kids have a seat each on the train or young blokes all seated while an elderly person stands for half an hour.
Ff's whats wrong with people now.

Ask the woman if she wants a seat and they get offended.
Ask someone older if they want a seat, they get offended.

Much easier, speak up and say excuse me, would someone mind giving me a seat?

I've had also had people glare, and make PA comments about me being in a seat. Only they had not mentioned anything to anyone about requiring a seat, and I am not a mind reader. At times I need a seat but because I don't fit whatever criteria I get shit for it.

Moooooooooooooooooo · 01/03/2020 17:13

Entitled, much? You're having a laugh. Give your head a wobble girl. Or, to put it another way, TOUGH, it’s called life, get on with it.

winobaglady · 01/03/2020 17:17

YABVU
As a person who needs to use the lift I actually find your post quite insensitive. I'd love to just run up and down the stairs.
That said, I have let wheelchairs and parents with prams in a lift before me in the past.
I might not now. Hmm

PeterPanGoesWrong · 01/03/2020 17:27

And you know everyone in front of you didn’t have a hidden disability how?..... heart conditions, lung transplants, arthritis?.......

Stop being so judgemental, you do not get to jump the queue just because you have a child!

BossAssBitch · 01/03/2020 17:41

Possibly one of the most entitled threads I have read on here. And that’s saying something Grin

ffswhatnext · 01/03/2020 17:56

It’s blindingly obvious I’m talking about people being lazy who clog the lifts when they don’t need to.

So hospital patients who are able to get up and about for a walk, and who often wear day clothes.
How would you tell if they are visitors or patients to know if they are lazy or not?

And yes this does genuinely happen. Many patients who I have met over the years also get dressed and go for a wander. Sometimes yes to see people on other wards/departments. Wander down to the shop. Rather than wait for a porter take themselves off to the x-ray department etc.

Hospitals are a prime example of what a load of fucking bollocks - they don't look - actually is. Anyone who really believes that you can look at someone and just tell, needs to give their fucking heads a wobble.

Or if you actually do possess these miracle superpowers, then why the fuck you moaning and not using your skills for good use? Much prefer to be looked at, instead of having to go in the massive, horrible machines every 3 months and scans in the meantime. (sorry cannot remember what those bastard machines are called haha)

LolaSmiles · 01/03/2020 18:04

Of course this thread has filled up with all the people saying why they are special, in the same way as them being special and needing to drive their kids to school half a mile, or drive a SUV despite only having one child and living in a city, or leave the engine running when stationary or parking on a pavement or letting dc play computer games without headphones
Correction:
The vast majority of posters on this thread have objected to the OP being annoyed that they had to wait for a lift and deciding that the approximately 20 she was waiting with were clearly unreasonable in using the lift. Aka but I'm more deserving than you and I can tell just by looking.

Within the thread many posters have pointed out how stupid the "but they don't deserve to be using the lifts when I need it and don't want to wait" argument is by sharing things that OP didn't consider because she was too busy complaining that she had to wait for a lift in a busy shop/shopping centre.

Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 19:00

To answer a couple of previous posts
I’m not outraged that people disagree, I get that everyone is allowed to use a lift. I’m not suggesting lifts are policed. I think this has been exaggerated by other posters on this thread by a huge amount.
I don’t expect people to give way to me personally or let me push ahead, I don’t think that able bodied people should be banned from using lifts in general, I don’t feel I’m above/more important than anyone at all.
Before I had a child I would use the stairs during busy times because to me it just made sense as it wasn’t a necessity.
And yes I agree that disabilities aren’t visible as I have mentioned along with illnesses etc. I was outraged by peoples aggressive language and name calling and swearing which I think is entirely more unreasonable than my post!
There’s no need to be nasty.
It’s very frustrating when people are saying I expected people to give way to me and let me jump ahead - I haven’t said that? I’m saying as a general observation perhaps people should use the stairs if it doesn’t compromise their health in any way. As it stands I can see the majority think I’m unreasonable and I’ll take that on board. What I’m not here for though is to be criticised for my 11 month old having a tantrum or being told I’m unreasonable for even going shopping. Come on. Going in on payday isn’t my first choice, I had to go and pick something up and have no one to look after my daughter for me, so as annoying as it is I had to go in.
There’s an awful pack mentality on this post which is just so unnecessary in my opinion but then that’s probably wrong as well. I suppose having an opinion on anything on here where a child is involved automatically means you should be prepared to be criticised for your child’s behaviour and your parenting skills..

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquarius1619 · 01/03/2020 19:02

And also to people who have mentioned baby wearing - I did this until a few weeks ago and found it very useful, I used the stairs then people will be pleased to know!
Perhaps all the baby wearing has contributed to her not liking the pram...
But next time she will be going back in the sling as I don’t want to be in the same predicament a second time

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 01/03/2020 19:21

Just be glad it's only a short while you have to live with this. When you're running up those 5 floors with your 5 year old, we'll still be waiting for the lift with the wheelchair.

Standandwait · 01/03/2020 19:22

OP I'm with you, YANBU at all. And I always wonder why parents with small children don't team up more with people in wheelchairs to lobby for better facilities for EVERYONE needing wheels. I mean why can't buses have more fold-up seats and space for more wheelchairs? Why is virtually the entire London Tube still in accessible?

sauvignonblancplz · 01/03/2020 19:31

@Aquarius1619 YANBU at all.

ffswhatnext · 01/03/2020 19:37

I used to live in an area with a couple of sen schools and absolute crap pavements, traffic lights, store entrances, changing facilities etc. You get the idea.

They teamed up to get a local campaign started aimed at government and local businesses. The latter, more of an if you are thinking about future works, could you look at accessing the building type of things.

Nurseries, schools, various groups, clubs etc all contacted. Lots of advertising to get others to join us. Because these also would benefit these groups directly. We've all had an issue when pushing someone and the door is really heavy to open, never mind hold open and go through.

It was depressing. It was still mainly family, friends etc who had a link with the schools. Very few parents or those expecting wanted to get involved.

Maybe it was just here that had this result and some areas were successful. Would be good to hear

PlomBear · 01/03/2020 19:57

I have asthma, can walk for miles on the flat but find stairs really hard work. Nobody can stop me using a lift.

PlomBear · 01/03/2020 20:02

13.3 million people with disabilities live in the UK. Around 8 million people...

Namechangexyz1 · 01/03/2020 20:08

How do you wear a baby?

I thought one carried the baby in a sling not wore it like a garment.

LolaSmiles · 01/03/2020 20:19

I’m saying as a general observation perhaps people should use the stairs if it doesn’t compromise their health in any way
But as people have said, 20 or so people in a busy shop/shopping centre WILL be a minority of people in town at peak time so it's a non-issue. There's no need to be annoyed and saying people should be taking the stairs etc because already most people take the stairs.

Shops and shopping centres and town/city centres will get busy. That means there will be queues for all sorts of things from lifts to cash machines.

If you choose to go shopping (and it is a choice) then there's going to be people there. If you go when it's likely to be busy, the queues for things will be bigger.
If you get frustrated with lots of people in town (like me) then go when it's quieter or go when it's busy and get over the fact there's people.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/03/2020 20:30

Standandwait
I think that question has been answered for you by ffswhatsnext. Disability is (generally) for life, not just for a sparkly couple of years when a child is in their infancy. Parents can’t be arsed as they know they’ll grow past this stage yet simultaneously expect to piggy back by using any facilities hard won rights for wheelchair and disabled used.