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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People using lifts

455 replies

Aquarius1619 · 29/02/2020 18:59

I’m actually a bit annoyed at myself for being petty enough to post this.
But this really got under my skin today!! I have an 11 month old who isn’t keen on the pram, will sit in there for 15 minutes or so but as soon as I stop moving she has a meltdown.
So we were waiting for the lift as we were parked on floor 5 in the local shopping mall today and I was stood behind a queue of people waiting to use the lift. People with no shopping, no kids, just didn’t want to use the stairs. And it took 20 minutes for me to get in the lift because each time it would come to my floor it was full of people with no kids, no wheelchairs, no walking sticks so then we’d wait for the next one then one of the people in front of me with nothing to carry would get in it. I know every disability isn’t visible either but FFS I’m talking a load of people here. By the time some of them had eventually got in the lift it would’ve been quicker for them to have walked up and down the whole place! Meanwhile DD is having a meltdown because we’d been stood around for ages. Is it unreasonable to expect people to just use the stairs and free up the lifts for people who actually need them? If I have no pram with me I always use the stairs

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 01/03/2020 12:40

according to previous posters I was also making the choice and should’ve folded my pram and Carried that in one arm, DD in the other plus my shopping up all five flights

Yes, I can just imagine you doing that. Only for someone to post a thread on mumsnet about what a selfish entitled arse you are to take up all the space on the stairs with all your children and 'stuff'.

isabellerossignol · 01/03/2020 12:40

In other words, you can't win.

MamaFlintstone · 01/03/2020 12:44

This does my head in at my local John Lewis. There’s a car park at the top floor, and escalators only go to the floor below, with stairs to the top floor. So pushchairs, wheelchairs and elderly people are stuck not being able to get in the lifts which are just constantly going from top to bottom with people who (mostly) can’t be arsed walking that one last flight of stairs. (Yes I’m sure some of them have hidden disabilities and I shouldn’t judge but the numbers are disproportionate to the percentage of people who actually have hidden disabilities.)

It actually annoys me to the point I avoid the shop entirely if I have the pushchair with me.

Surfer25 · 01/03/2020 12:46

So everyone must give way to your howling baby

Perhaps it did her good. Sometimes the pushchair stops and she has to deal with it

sunshinesupermum · 01/03/2020 12:53

I agree with you OP

Falcor40 · 01/03/2020 12:56

@Aquarius1619. Consuls you get in the lift to go down?

RedGal · 01/03/2020 13:10

Really unsure how this thread has turned in to an attack on my parenting. So many trolls on here!

If I was queuing for the lift (which I haven't actually done, happy to take the stairs) and there was a stressed out mum behind me in the queue with a wailing child, I would offer her my space. Same as I would for anyone I noticed was struggling. Not because she's entitled or more important or any other reason other than simply because I'm a mum and I get it. Mine are grown up now but I remember. And the OP hasn't asked for anyone's space. She posted after a frustrating wait with a crying child.

Alsohuman · 01/03/2020 13:15

She’s moaned about other people using the lift when she thinks they don’t need to.

RedGal · 01/03/2020 13:19

Yes, she was pissed off. Probably should have had a glass of wine instead.

EmeraldShamrock · 01/03/2020 13:27

On a 5th floor carpark I'd expect the majority to use the lift.
If in a shopping centre with escalators I'd say yanbu. I only use a lift if I've a buggy, then 9 out 10 times I don't have the time or patience to wait I use the travelator.
I think the majority who use them need to us them, it is frustrating and boring waiting on a lift.

LolaSmiles · 01/03/2020 13:49

OP, you've essentially said people who use the lifts shouldn't because you don't want to wait. Why are you surprised people have given a resounding "hell no" to that premise?

Of course some people can be lazy but that doesn't give you the right to be some sort of lift police because you don't want to wait in a queue like anyone else.

Ilovechocolate01 · 01/03/2020 13:53

I've only noticed this since having to use a pram. Yes anyone can use a lift but sadly common sense is lacking in some people. I would really hate to be disabled in this country with lack of lifts, parking on pavements etc

Jeleste · 01/03/2020 14:07

I dont think youre being unreasonable. Just because youre allowed to use the lift, doesnt mean you have to. Especially when theres already a queue it would be polite to leave the lift for people who actually need it.
But thats how most people are nowadays, selfish and inconsiderate.

PurpleDaisies · 01/03/2020 14:17

Most lifts say priority for pram a , wheel chairs etc.

Do they? I have never seen this.

Schuyler · 01/03/2020 14:19

Unsure of why you posted, you don’t seem to think you’re unreasonable. Perhaps you just needed a vent after a stressful shopping trip. I hate taking mine to the shops, especially when it’s busy!

Your little one will grow up one day and hopefully be healthy and able to walk. You can take the stairs together. People with disabilities often aren’t afforded that option, so I’m afraid my sympathy is a bit limited. It’d be different if people pushed in front of you but you were in a queue! This is a temporary stress for you. Just breathe and Wine.

Nowayorhighway · 01/03/2020 14:22

Most lifts near where I live do state to give priority to wheelchairs and pushchairs, that is what they’re designed for. Of course some people struggle with stairs so they should be allowed too. People just using them because they’re too lazy to walk downstairs shouldn’t be clogging them up and I strongly suspect most of the people in your experience today were lazy.

BumbleBeee69 · 01/03/2020 14:35

YANBU. For every person with an invisible disability (most of whom appear to be on this thread), there are ten more who are just lazy feckers.

even lazy feckers are ENTITLED to use Lifts without explanation... show me on the Lift wall the user guide where it says.. Only Disabled and Baby Prams are authorised to use this Lift... 🤔

BumbleBeee69 · 01/03/2020 14:36

People just using them because they’re too lazy to walk downstairs shouldn’t be clogging them up and I strongly suspect most of the people in your experience today were lazy.

And ? who are you to decide who can and cannot use the Lifts ? There are no restrictions beyond taking your Car into them...

jellycatspyjamas · 01/03/2020 15:42

Most lifts near where I live do state to give priority to wheelchairs and pushchairs, that is what they’re designed for.

I thought lifts were designed to carry goods and people up and down floors, in fact some lifts I’ve been in were definitely not designed with prams or wheelchairs in mind - what a ridiculous thing to say.

ViveLEntenteCordiale · 01/03/2020 15:46

I have a hip problem on one side and an ankle problem on the other. With the ankle issue, going down stairs is harder than going up because of the way the ankle bends when going down. I don't always use a stick because I have a shoulder impingement on one side and a problem with my wrist on the other. Every time I go out I think about where I am in most pain and, based on that, decide whether to use my stick, my crutches or neither, and whether I can go out at all. There is no way I could walk up or down five flights of stairs. HTH.

Flopdrop · 01/03/2020 15:49

YANBU. Of course any individual can have a hidden disability, but it's unlikely that they all did. People under the age of 60 who are in reasonable health should use the stairs and let people with an actual need use the lift first.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 01/03/2020 16:01

I'm disappointed. Straight away you agreed you were being unreasonable! NO NO NO NO NO! You're supposed to ignore the YABUs and keep insisting your right and give all kinds of reasons you are right which get more ridiculous with time!

Alsohuman · 01/03/2020 16:03

People under the age of 60 who are in reasonable health should use the stairs and let people with an actual need use the lift first

When there are notices in lifts that say this you might have a point. Until then, lifts are available for anyone without restriction.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/03/2020 16:04

"most of the people in your experience today were lazy."

It was the 5th floor! And you don't know what other exercise they'd done that day.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/03/2020 16:06

"Most lifts say priority for pram a , wheel chairs etc.

Do they? I have never seen this."

Me neither.