To pull Dd constantly for eating noisily?

[Flaskfan]

I can't bear it. I really can't, but I'm worried I'm going to give her a complex, cos I spend most of my time saying:"Dd, mouth", as she chomps away like a masturbating cow, complete with sound effects.

Dd is 9, btw.

The mouth isn't massively open; it's the absent minded smacking and sound of...just everything. I can deal with crunches, but not the sucking, sequencing sound. It's like Death of a Naturalist.

*squelch

@MNHQ this thread needs to go in classics. Masturbating cow!

It's unreasonable to expect eating to be completely silent; toast and apples crunch, for instance, but lips are elastic and muscular enough to remain sealed during chewing!

Table manners matter. Nobody wants to sit at table with anyone who reveals the mastication process, or worse, talks through it.

DD might be overloading her mouth. Does she take huge spoon or forkfuls or fill up again before swallowing what's already there? Is she trying to eat too quickly in order to get back to an activity she loves?

Why not have a a good look and then quiet word at a convenient time? She's well old enough to master this important skill. As a last resort, put a shaving mirror in front of her so she sees her open mouth in action. It's never a pretty sight.

The work you put in now will pay off handsomely for her!

If there is a poor adult model at the table, though, your efforts are probably in vain.

This could have been my thread (minus masturbating cow)

DD is 10yo and mouth breaths, she therefore shovels a load of food in, then can't hold a breath long enough so does a big noisy series of deep breaths. We're reminding her to breath through her nose, it's not blocked, she's just not learnt to do it. We keep reminding her that one day she'll meet some 'special person' and will have a meal with their parents, she won't want to be making the noises she makes now!!

We try to remind her to take smaller bites or breathe through her nose rather than shout about her noises (although it is really hard not to just lose it!). Just commented positively to her now though for eating an apple much quieter than usual.

I’m just here for the typo.

I do the same with my some
Eats a ripe banana like it’s a very tough over cooked steak

My mum was the same with me but now I don't eat nosily anymore and I am glad she did!

Maybe she can't breath through her nose properly. Don't keep going on at her you will give her a complex and wouldn't want that. X

I asked if she eats like that in school and she claims not to, but I.might get her brother to spy. She can do it and makes a point of looking at me with her mouth closed when I bark:"mouth!" This is a girl who takes fitting in with her friends v seriously (but that's another thread!), so might try that route.

Glad my incorrect has brightened so many dreary afternoons

autocorrect. sigh*

My advice would be you need to keep reminding her I have adult family members who were never pulled up on their table manners and they in their 30s they are horrible eaters. They eat with their mouths open, talk with their mouth full and always end up covered in the stuff.

Keep at it - I can not abide mouth open, the schtuking sound and slurping that seems to be very common in most sub 20yr olds now adays.
My niece now 19 - eats with her mouth open and it is foul. I videoed her at a younger age with sound effects and it helped but she still needs constant reminders. I can not sit opposite her at a table and I love her dearly.

as to the masturbating 9 yrold cow - that is probably the mumsnet typo of the decade!

My first thought was can she breathe through her nose properly? ..... my dd (now20) can’t, so is a mouth breather and it does affect her eating. In her younger days she really struggled to eat with her mouth closed. She didn’t make too much noise but absolutely could not close her mouth while eating due to the breathing issue. She also has hypermobility and gets huge pain in her jaw and ears when eating.

Don’t be too hard on her unless you absolutely know for certain that she has no other issues at all.

My 6 year old has started chewing with his mouth open.. I pull him up on it (kindly) every single time. It drives me batty! Can't stand the noise. I see it as us doing them a favour as nobody will able to be around them if they haven't learned to eat quietly before adulthood ;)

Masturbating cow really tickled me!!

I have a huge problem with anyone eating noisily especially my own kids I pull them up constantly!!!

Yeah agree with everyone - keep at it. I used to sit opposite someone at work who ate his lunch noisily with an open mouth. It was really gross. Then all afternoon he would be burping quietly - I guess he swallowed so much air when he was eating that it gave him wind.

When I was at school I am sure that anyone that age would have been pulled up on it by the other children if they ate like that. We were a small school and at lunch time the desks were pushed into groups of four and each one properly set with a table cloth, cutlery and water jug and we all sat and ate together. Great for teaching and encouraging good table manners.

It's unfair to potentially give her a complex about something she can't control, but this is something very much within her control and feeling embarrassed every time it's bought up at home is going to be preferable in the long term than her friends pointing it out at school. Just keep pulling her on it, it's one of those things that everyone gets irrationally irritated by!

To those saying she can control this .... we don’t know that .... IF she is a mouth breather due to nasal problems then she absolutely can’t control it.

A few months back we were having lunch in a café one Saturday. We sat down and there were two men, mid 20s, at the next table. They were two thirds of the way through their food. When they'd finished they sat chatting over their coffees, and one of them was bemoaning the fact that he'd never had more than three dates with the same woman. They all finished with him, sometimes after one date, occasionally two or three, but never more. I sooooo wanted to lean over and say 'I've just seen you eating. I can tell you why you never get past a third date....'

Masturbating cows? Pull the udder one...

I'll get my coat.

I could have written your exact post... without the masticating cow... 😂

francis .... now imagine eating a whole meal several times a day, every single day, constantly battling and trying to breathe ... it’s clear you don’t have this problem.