To pull Dd constantly for eating noisily?

[Flaskfan]

I can't bear it. I really can't, but I'm worried I'm going to give her a complex, cos I spend most of my time saying:"Dd, mouth", as she chomps away like a masturbating cow, complete with sound effects.

Dd is 9, btw.

Can she breathe properly through her nose? If not she might struggle to keep her mouth closed.

Otherwise, yes, you need to fix it as people will not want to share meals with her. My 9 year old can't stand eating with some of her friends as it's just disgusting.

Keep correcting her because it’s important.

Many years ago I went on a date with a man who had clearly never been taught to eat quietly. I was horrified while he slurped, chewed, chomped and gulped his way through our lunch. There wasn’t a second date!

Second asking can she breathe well through her nose, can she eat with her mouth closed? Also can she chew well, are her teeth ok, her bite, the biting surfaces of her teeth, do they meet together well? Ask the dentist next visit. I had all that, teeth didnt really meet, couldnt breath through my nose, chewed noisily mostly with tongue, v noisy that bit and ate with my mouth open lots, to breath. Orthodontics, some surgery, much better now as an adult but I still have to remind myself of good table manners. Keep prompting her, but check it all out too. I couldn't eat quietly, no matter how much reminding I got as a child. I was embarrassed, I knew.

What is her posture like at the table? Some people eat rather hunched/slumped with their backs bent and faces nearer the plate, thereby reducing their lung capacity and making it easier to mouth-breathe.

She needs to have the self-awareness to understand what she looks like and what she sounds like when she eats like that, as you've seen, verbal comments don't register enough. She needs to know what other people who share her table see and hear.

Once she's seen it for herself and can compare what she looks and sounds like with what the other nearby diners sound and look like, hopefully she should be aware of it and want to change.

How you show her what she looks and sounds like without upsetting her is up to you, but for her own sake, I'd do it sooner at home before one of her peers decides to, kids can be very hurtful.

Crossposted about breathing, I am definitely a slow typist!

That typo has cheered me up so much 🤣

No I agree! You are giving her a gift for adulthood!

She’ll never be on a first date and have her date cringe over the loud munching, or be at a business meeting and have everyone stand further back so they don’t get covered in spit missiles!

thats a vision that's not going to disappear soon when people munch....

I remind my DS, also 9, constantly to close his mouth when chewing. I fear I am fighting a losing battle though because I also have to ask DH to close his mouth and if I dared I would ask MIL too

Omg "masturbating cow" 🤣🤣🤣 best ever typo. Really made my day. Kind of works too!

Germans have a word for this ' schmatzen'. I'm half German, so introduced the word to tell my girls not to do it. They love the word so used to smile and chuckle when I said it - but it would also close their mouth from that point on. And they tell my husband 'no schmatzen' too!

It’s important to correct but I’d be gentler about it than say, @BiscuitBarrels

9 year olds do not require a sarcastic “head tilt”.

We once had a child who was finally allowed (by his DM) to have school lunch in Yr. 6; all sorts of other problems, as he "steamrollered" her at home with many aspects of his behaviour, but we discovered that he could not use a knife and fork. Basically, she had capitulated at home to the tantrums, and he subsisted on food that could be consumed by fingers or a spoon: fish fingers, sausages, burgers, chips, baked beans....
It was quite painful to begin with, but we reminded him more than once that the day might come when he wanted to take a nice young lady out for a meal....it's a basic social skill.
I have also heard, anecdotally, of schools which introduced this as a social skill; sad apocryphal tale of a young man doing well in interviews all morning, only to horrify his prospective employer with terrible table manners when taken out to lunch. He'd done really well in interviews, but the job included entertaining clients...…..
I've related before how my cousin was cured of eating with his mouth full by sitting him in front of a mirror. It screened him from our view, and he didn't enjoy the spectacle either!
I think you can keep reminding her without giving her a complex, especially if she is praised when she does get it right.

Please don't make her self conscious of eating. My mum did the same to me and now I don't eat in front of people

Stamp it out now because adult loud eaters are vile subhumans. Haha it makes me feel ill and I tune in to the sound immediately.

I shared a flat with a very nice teacher when we were both mid 20s. Her noisy eating and habit of shovelling it in and then opening her mouth to carry on talking eventually pushed me into avoiding ever eating with her.
My DD had the habit of putting too much food in to finish quickly to get on with life. I started telling her ("DD, mouth" ) and she stropped and said I was horrible but she doesn't do it anymore.

Keep telling your DD. It's important.

Yes keep on saying it relentlessly.

I do the same with my children.

I once worked with someone who had no table manners. She used cutlery badly, chewed with her mouth open and it was awful to watch. Maybe she was never taught or maybe she never listened. Either way these things are easier to learn as a child.

I can't breathe well through my nose and my teeth don't meet(I'm a proper catch) but I'm still civilised

I am worried about making her self conscious, but rather that than the alternative- which is to make her live in the garden and eat from a trough.

I don't think cows can masturbate, but other animals can (including some dogs, monkeys and bears), but one cool thing some cows can do is drink their own milk.

But more seriously, the closed-mouth eating should probably be enforced, yes.

My right eye doesn't close properly owing to eyelid defect.

I have still managed to use Mumsnet for well over a decade without referring once to wanking ruminants. clutches lapels self-importantly

You've likely got misophonia. You need to ask an impartial adult whether her eating is outside social norms.

The other dc doesn't upset me, so I think it's just her bad habit. It's weird, cos she usually likes to please, but I remind her at every meal. But then, she has 12 meals a week in Cm/school.

I didn't mean to plant the image of a 'masturbating ruminant' But my iPad has a mind of its own.

Definitely need to knock that on the head or people will avoid her. I can hear my housemate chewing salad through a closed door, it's awful.

My DD is 12 now, but was probably a similar age to yours when I really start upped having to remind her. It drove me up the wall.

Every mealtime I had to remind her. She used to try & argue back that she was eating with her mouth closed, but she wasn’t!

It worked eventually but took a long time.

Keep on at her.