Posters being horrible on Mumsnet

[glitteryboots]

Why can't I or anyone else ask a genuine question on Mumsnet without being called horrible names. If you think the original post is insensitive or just wrong why can't you say this without tearing into the OP? I am the first to admit when I am wrong and my beliefs have sometimes been changed by (reasonable) responses.

You started a thread criticising the way someone is grieving their dad.

I think starting a thread about someone who has just lost their dad, criticising them going out and posting about it, criticising them posting and tagging their sibling and mum in it, and trying to get other to join in is far more horrible than posters pulling you up on it.

The thread literally had no benefit to you, even if everyone agreed with you, it makes no difference to your life at all, other than to let you continue to be so self congratulatory on grieving the correct way while your 'friend' does it wrong.

The fact is that some people on here will turn to social media for support, and your thread will have made them feel shitty, or make them question whether you're on their facebook and slagging them off.

This is a site people often use when they are recently bereaved, in fact, many years on from the death of our loved ones many of us still turn to MN for support.

You would do well to remember that when criticising others then calling everyone horrible.

Leave then? Go and join net huns where you can be more fake nice and passive aggressive?

Mumsnet are actually shit hot on deleting personal attacks (unless you're American ).

Honestly, if you post on aibu and you're being a dick you'll get told so.

If you're posting looking for validation and people to join in a bitch fest about someone else then aibu is the wrong place.

I like it, a couple of times I've posted about issues and been in the wrong and had my ass handed to me. I think it's actually helped me not make bad decisions and be more self aware.

MrsTerryPratchett for the record she is not a friend - a Facebook friend and there is a reason for her being a Facebook friend I don't want to get in to. However, if a friend of mine was constantly posting on Facebook I wouldn't criticise them, I would check they were doing ok and as if I could do anything for them.

@faracrossthepond obviously doesn't consider hit a raw nerve did I with a passive aggressive smiley to be rude and negative Typical of the stirrers.

people think it's fine to call people horrible or say they are glad they're not their friend

That’s because it is.

& stop being so disingenuous.

Telling people that their way of grieving isn’t acceptable, when all they’re doing is posting on their own Facebook page, isn’t ‘But I was just asking’.

You were being nasty about people attention seeking while grieving.

You got handed your arse on a plate.

Own your behaviour & accept it was horrible behaviour.

idontusuallypanic really don't take offence at getting my ass kicked with a reasonable argument. That was why I asked.

would NEVER say what they say on here, in real life But that's because in real life you have to be polite, and can't risk offending someone because you have to maintain a personal/working relationship with them. So most the time you don't say what you really mean.

Whereas on here, its anonymous, so you don't have to worry about your honest opinion (whether its mean/catty etc) making things awkward in real life.

Most people are much more honest on MN than in real life.

AmelieTaylor didn't I later admit that I could see I was in the wrong? That was only due to the comments and examples that made sense without ripping me to bits.

Most people are much more honest on MN than in real life.

exactly.

Basically, posters write what in real life they would only say behind your back. So now you know. No one has a worst judgment on line than in real life, you just know about it.

That includes the hysterical haters, who are probably just as hateful inside as they are on here. But in real life I imagine they send some vibes anyway and you avoid them.

It's a good thing. You cannot want a world where your boss, your neighbours, your doctor, or your kids teachers really tell you to your face what they think. They might be right, or wrong, but it would be rather painful!

i saw that thread, just caught up with it and you actually got off quite lightly!!

its just a chat forum. log off if you cant hack a few home truths

say they are glad they're not their friend

how is that even a horrible comment anyway?

I think there’s a difference between saying ”that was a horrible thing to say/do” and ”you are horrible”. On your thread, I think some of what you said was a horrible and I also think you had horrible replies.

This is life. Some people are nice, some people are horrible. Most people are somewhere in between. We are capable of doing/saying nice things and horrible things.

I don't think someone saying "you sound like a horrible person" as constructive.

It’s Mumsnet. People are weird.

It's not compulsory to be constructive.

Well. You did sound like a horrible person tbh

Unfortunately there are a lot of judgemental snobby twats who think they know everything about everything on this forum, OP.
I don't know what the answer is, maybe just post on threads that really interest you?
Personally I would advise to never seek advice on mumsnet about anything really.
Always google first, then use your common sense.

and there are a lot of very angry posters who come up with gems like that "Unfortunately there are a lot of judgemental snobby twats" 🤷

And there are a lot of posters who say that there are lot of posters who say “ Unfortunately there are a lot of judgemental snobby twats"

"Unfortunately there are a lot of judgemental snobby twats who think they know everything about everything on this forum"

Fucking hell, someone phone Alanis Morissette 🤦🤣

@Hingeandbracket well simple really. I am not a nasty person so i wouldn't say something horrible to someone in real life so wouldn't do it on the internet either 🤷🏼‍♀️

Isn't there anyone you'd say something "horrible" to?

Fucking hell, someone phone Alanis Morissette

They'd have to explain irony to her first. That seems a lot of work.

Jesus. How do you cope with life in general OP? Have you never have a boss tell you off for being wrong? Or a colleague? Or a mate?

By the sound of things, you posted to find out if people agreed with you, on an open forum, which regularly has posts regurgitated in low rent shit rag papers, which could've meant to add to the grieving process your supposed mate had to read the thoughts of you and other randoms online in the press on how they grieve, and when people said they were pleased you aren't their mate, you got miffed.

Hence this, which, btw, is against the MN rules which they enforce regularly and indiscriminately, as it's a TAAT.

You got your arse handed to you so suck it up buttercup or as someone suggested, off you go to NetHuns where everything is twee and nice and no one ever utters so much as a low level cuss.

BiBiBirdie ffs how many times - she is not a mate. And this is not TAAT - just a general observation. I can take what people say but I would hate to see someone seriously upset by some of the responses they get.