Is this deathbed cfery? Or AIBU?

[ohwellherewegoagain]

Very sad situation, elderly aunt is very poorly, having palliative care in hospital. She has a large family on her side, many visitors over the last few days. Her husband, my uncle, is my late father's brother, and I am one of few relatives on his side. We have all been visiting to provide some support. Naturally as you do in these situations people have been introducing themselves to each other, as some of us are at best, distant relations. I introduced myself as aunt's niece and was promptly corrected by another niece, who said that you only called yourself that if you were a blood relation ie in this case a child of one of aunt's siblings. So therefore I was uncle's niece, not aunt's niece. I was a bit taken aback, I consider myself every bit an aunt to my "inlaw" nieces and nephews as my "blood" ones. The marriage makes the relationship, doesn't it? Am I being too sensitive? And wasn't it a bit cfy to for that person to bring it up in a deathbed scenario?

I just asked DH, is my niece your niece he said no, so I asked him is your mums-brothers-wife your aunt? He said yes....
I said, well my niece is your niece! He thought and then said, oh, I guess you're right, weird though

"based on relationships having started from before I can remember stuff (ie my aunts) and relationships starting when I am in my 30s/40s ie those with my other halves family."

But your own aunts were also adults when you were born, exactly like you were an adult when your nieces and nephews were born . Like Noveltyfunsys DH you don't seem to have quite thought this through!

marriage is literally about creating familial ties through means other than blood!

The terminology used doesn't impact on the relationship. Just because they are my aunt- in-law doesn't mean I can't be as close, if not closer, than I am to my aunt.

I don't consider my other halves Neices and nephews as mine too, even though I have known them since they were born. Same with his uncles and aunts.My aunt who is married to my uncle, she had been around since I was born so yes I consider her an aunt

So your Neices and nephews would consider you their aunt as you’ve been there for their whole lives (just like your uncle’s wife has for you) but you don’t feel like that reciprocally with them??

"The terminology used doesn't impact on the relationship"

It does though, or why would we use familial terms at all? And why would people get snippy about whether or not someone was a 'blood' niece/nephew if the implication wasn't that you had 'actual' nieces and nephews that were 'real' family. Some cultures call all close family friends aunt and uncle, I find it boggling that people could be so nitpicky as to deny the relationship with an actual aunt or uncle just because it is 'only' by marriage.

It does though, or why would we use familial terms at all?

No, doesn't. The terms are descriptors that give information about the connection from a genealogical perspective. I never use titles for aunts/uncles. Neither do my nieces/nephews nor my dh's.

No, doesn't should read No, it doesn’t.

I wouldn't called Cheeky but I'd call it spiteful