Boss blanking me , AIBU to think it's unprofessional

[Pheasantplucker2]

I am a consultant working remotely. She's 15 years my junior.

Our working relationship has been seemingly fine until last week. She sent me what amounted to a performance management email for a junior employee. I am a senior consultant. I responded to all the points raised, reminded her I was a consultant and she could terminate my contract if she didn't like the way I worked and asked for a meeting to discuss the situation.

That was over a week ago. I've emailed twice more, tried to call several times and left a voicemail and a text message. No response.

She is answering emails I'm copied in on, or I've instigated as part of a group project discussion in a determinedly bright and breezy fashion.

Wtf do I have to do to get her to discuss this like a professional? I've accepted the working relationship is untenable, and will move on, but I would have liked her to - well - be a manager, talk to me about her issues (most of which seem to stem from her inability to differentiate between an employee and a freelance consultant and why I should be paid for the hours I've worked)

What should I do? I've never, in 25 years of working, mostly in senior positions, come across anything like it. When there have been professional differences of opinion with other colleagues (not many, I'm fairly easy to work with!) we've discussed the situation like adults and, even if we didn't agree, found a way forward. I don't play games, I'm not involved in any office politics as I work remotely most of the time, and I work hard and effectively.

There's absolutely no point to this. She can just terminate our agreement, and as we were about to negotiate a new contract, she doesn't even have to pay me much of a notice period. Why play such ridiculous games?

Anyone come across anything like this before? Maybe she's having a quiet breakdown, or trying to find an alternative solution to using me, but in which case wouldn't you at least send a holding email saying I need to consider my options, I'll come back to you in a week.

I have a management meeting in the diary for next week, scheduled before this happened. I'm not really a confrontational person, but am tempted to go and ask her wtf she's playing at in front of the rest of the team.

NB I don't need a reference from her!

"But ignoring OP's emails and ceasing the regular phone calls is not 'as usual'."

Nope. The OP said she's replying to the usual work emails. Just not the messages the OP is sending to "discuss" why she's right and the manager is wrong. It sounds like the OP was right, but she should stop banging on about it.

There are many types of contracts for temporary staff such as yourself OP; some will be fixed price, some man-day, some fixed days and some based on hours worked; your approach is not the only way in which any consultancy contract can work. It appears that she didn't understand what your contract was, or may have been unaware that you are a contractor at all. Without reading exactly what she said it's hard to know why it's got you so angry though; any reference to how much you cost doesn't sound professional when coupled with discussion about working hours, but if it was phrased around the amount you're delivering in that time it could be ok, she is your client after all! Earning a high rate is great, but if you aren't providing value at that rate for the company then it's fair enough for her to consider other options.

If it were me then I'd have said something like: "My T&Cs are based on hourly pay, which has always worked like this at X company, I've attached a copy of the contract for you. If you'd like to discuss a change in contract terms then I'll review your request, but I am happy with the current contract so changes may not suit me." Threatening her with "could terminate my contract if she doesn't like the way I work" is likely to come across as very unprofessional because it's disrespectful to suggest you are unwilling to discuss any way in which your work or your approach no longer suits the company. She is managing you and entitled to an opinion accordingly; you shouldn't assume she's wrong to try to change anything just because she's younger than you. If you want to leave then give your notice, otherwise a consultant is expected to discuss what the client actually wants, while being at liberty to say if it won't work (tendering your notice if it doesn't).

YANBU to think it's unprofessional of her not to reply at all. She may be in discussions with HR about dismissing you or letting your contract lapse; even where it's financially appropriate be getting approval for extra permanent headcount rather than a contractor and then recruiting can all take time. Nevertheless that shouldn't stop an interim "Thank you for your reply, I'll get back to you about this in a few weeks".

So, I'm voting that's 2 unprofessional emails and an unprofessional behaviour. As for where you go from here, the only thing you can do is pick up the phone or stick a meeting in her diary to discuss it further and try to be respectful of her position in whatever conversation you have. If she still won't reply then ask her manager, HR or whoever you signed the contract with to step in and help you to resolve this. It's always worth bearing in mind that people do seek informal references and you never know when you'll come across someone under different circumstances in future. In your future discussions resolving the contract or next time you face a similar problem, you might try to go a little more gently regardless of how unprofessional you feel the client is.

It seems like they've wimped out of responding to you after realising they're in the wrong.. YANBU to think it's unprofessional. I guess the question is, how do you move forward?

*How do you move forward - if you want to? Maybe they're waiting for you to terminate the contract!

Get a new contract somewhere else.

Sounds like she’s an inexperienced manager who doesn’t cope well with confrontation. Suspect she may have fired off her initial email having built up a bit of a head of steam and is now just hoping it will go away. Highly unprofessional IMO but something I see fairly often in my neck of the woods

This. I'm prepared to be flamed for this or told I'm being ageist (I'm 47), but I've found, over many years in my industry, that there is no substitute for life experience in a manager. I've known people come into my industry with no actual experience of how it works, but because they have experience of being a manager or even lots of work experience, and do very very well because they have lots of experience dealing with people. One of the best managers I've ever known is a 50 year old, no management experience, but lots of jobs in admin, public sector, project support - basically dealing with people and their shit.

A good friend of mine is currently off work with stress because of her treatment by a young, inexperienced and downright immature manager who is handling a big restructure which will see her job practically disappear. She even rung her whilst off sick to badger her into accepting a proposed model of how she could work after the restructure and got stroppy when my friend said that she didn't want to commit to anything until she was back at work and had gone through the promised consultation process. It's insane.

Oh and it's obvious OP that she has no idea what a consultant does and how they work!

Hi OP

Her complete lack of response would piss me off, it does sound like she is panicking and out of her depth.

Have you tried ringing her to discuss it?

I wouldn't necessarily not renew my contract just because of one email by someone who didnt know what they were doing though! If you are happy working for them in all other respects, I'd go to her boss first and clarify that they are happy with you first. I dont think she has given you much choice if she continues to ignore

She's avoiding you at all costs and looking like a twat by doing so ... none of this is a reflection on you OP ..

I'm disappointed, I read the title as 'bonking me'!

mrsBtheparker that's really funny... I spent most of yesterday thinking Fern Britton has died of coronavirus 😂

thankfully untrue 👀