First post so go easy on me please.
Tl:dr. Husband wants me to work part time and look after the house. Super high expectations make it impossible and we both feel like crap.
I've been with my now husband for just under two years. We got married in January, a rushed wedding as we'd just bought a house together. The house has needed a substantial amount of work done inxli9a new kitchen and bathroom, costing a small fortune we borrowed from my mum and came from his savings account. The house is in my name and me (and my mum) paid the deposit.
He is a really loving and caring guy. Always puts me first, looks out for me, makes sure I'm OK in stressful situations etc when my anxiety plays up.
When we met I had returned to uni and was going to pursue becoming a primary teacher, then later it changed to accountancy. I had always had a goal of having a good career that would allow me to live the lifestyle I want. I don't want lots of holidays, I just want to do things with my horse. We decided mutually that there was no point me getting a new career underway to then take so many years off to have children, and so I cancelled my uni course and finished with a BA.
Over the last few months and with me working various shift patterns from part time to full time, we have talked so many times about me only working part time and staying at home to look after the house etc while he works full time. We have discussed it that often I don't remember who's idea it was and feel he has been pushing me to give up my job so I an become a good little housewife.
My part time job pays the mortgage and for my horse. That was the deal, and he pays everything else. In return it's my job to take care of the house, do the washing etc. Except every time I do something he has a problem with it. I stopped doing washing in his day off as I was mixing loads and things weren't getting washed properly. I stopped cleaning as I was either doing it too quickly and therefore incorrectly or too slowly and taking too long.
Basically, everything I do he says is wrong, and it's getting me down. Tonight is the 2ns night in 6 weeks I'm sleeping on the couch. I do things a regular person does but everything is wrong and apparently shows I have no respect for him at all.
He is very considerate in some areas. Always makes sure my mum is OK now she's on her own, takes care of all the bills from his pay, wants me to have the best life I can. And in return I just need to treat him the way he treats me. The problem is I just can't. I always mess it up or over think it or only think about myself.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just suck it up and work on being a better wife? Not many folk can say they only work part time with no kids and have so much free time.
Kudos if you go this far.