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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents bought me a house to rent and I hate it

252 replies

jamjarlife · 25/02/2020 12:53

Fully prepared to get flamed here, NC for obv reasons.

I have 1 dc and I am married, I have rented my whole life and every year we struggle with rent increases, landlords deciding to sell and having to move etc. My parents have just retired and are fairly well off. They offered to buy a house in my city for me to rent from them. I didn't even know they'd started looking when they presented me with a house to view about 15 miles from where I was currently. I viewed it and liked it, area seemed fine and parents had done their research and decided it was a good area to invest in, good schools for dc etc. They proceeded. They spent 3 months re-decorating and sorting the house out and we moved in just after Christmas.

I hate it. I hate the area, I hate the traffic, I hate the (look) of the school my child would most likely go to, I just hate the whole feel of the place.

What do I do? I know its only been 2 months so perhaps I need to give it a better chance but honestly I miss where we used to live. AIBU?

OP posts:
Patchworkpatty · 25/02/2020 19:42

OP stop feeling the guilt and just move to a place YOU would like. You are gaining absolutely NO advantage here and your parents are banking on your guilt to fund their retirement!

IIWY I would look for somewhere YOU like , tell your parents that it doesn't work for you and that have to enter the 'real world' of being LL or sell... that might persuade them to lower the rent and OR be LLs ... you owe them nothing.

Btw are they BOTH your parents ? No 'steps' involved ?

EstebanTheMagnificent · 25/02/2020 19:51

You have to give it longer, OP. You’ve spent the gloomiest part of the year in the house and you need to give it at least six months, if not a year.

BrigidSt · 25/02/2020 20:11

Just move.

GabsAlot · 25/02/2020 20:19

Ive read your update and think yanbu-this move was meant to save you money instead its costing more-try and explain to them its not working out for you maybe they'll lower the rent or you could just move again

I dont understand why theyre charging you so much if they dont have a mortgage

Stinkycatbreath · 25/02/2020 20:25

I feel like you owe it to your parents to at least try it properly you chose the house and viewed it and said you love it. You are really lucky to have security even if you are paying rent they have made an investment in your future. If after you have given it a proper try and you still hate it
Speak to them honestly about how its making you feel. I would offer to reimburse any out of pocket fees also if you sdo decide to go. It costs a lot of money to sell a house.

itsbetterthanabox · 25/02/2020 20:29

Are you paying a huge amount under market value?
I don't get how this is a gift otherwise.
Can't your just rent elsewhere and they rent it out. Nothing is lost.

Ghdsa1 · 25/02/2020 20:33

Do you want to swap with me and live in my damp overcrowded council flat

Ghdsa1 · 25/02/2020 20:36

Sorry I take that back I’ve read your update , I’m surprised there charging you that much rent, what is the point in moving you Asif there going to help you out but it’s costing more. I would of said no thanks

EstebanTheMagnificent · 25/02/2020 20:41

Do you have siblings? Do your parents intend for you to inherit one day?

You don’t mention DH at all in your OP except to say that you are married. What does he think?

HavenDilemma · 25/02/2020 21:15

@DonKeyshot It's not an advantageous rate though, she's paying full market rent! £850 per month!

Isthisit22 · 25/02/2020 22:11

What??
Can't believe your parents make hundreds of pounds off you a month

SnuggyBuggy · 26/02/2020 07:54

I'd give it a token amount of time and if you still hate it then move. Some of these new estates are soulless and isolated so I wouldn't blame you. Your parents can rent it to someone else.

Nomel · 26/02/2020 09:18

@jamjarlife Is there mortgage or not? As you’ve said in one post “ but after costs and mortgage went through they decided it needed to be £850 a month.” and then in another there is no mortgage as far as you’re aware. Sorry if I’m being dense...

Beau20 · 26/02/2020 09:56

I haven't read the whole thread... but

You parents effectively bought you a house, they took your feelings into consideration. You viewed it liked it and liked everything else about it.

Now you hate it. After 2 months.

You are so ungrateful it's unreal. I wouldn't be surprised if your parents bought that house for you to eventually own, so in effect you are paying them a mortgage. You sound so spoilt I'm sorry. Let your parents rent it out to someone else and go back to struggling like you were before. You can't have the best of both words sorry - reasonable fixed rent in a house you don't like (but did at one point) or expensive rent that you can't afford in a house you like. The choice is yours.

Littlebluetruck · 26/02/2020 10:27

@Beau20

Maybe you should actually read the thread.

SudokuQueen · 26/02/2020 11:43

@jamjarlife
I think you should. Op has changed her story a few times already. Other posters and myself have pointed this out already.

SudokuQueen · 26/02/2020 11:44

@Littlebluetruck not @jamjarlife. Damn website.

Casino218 · 26/02/2020 11:49

Beggars can't be choosers! Save up and buy something different!

MarionberryJam · 26/02/2020 11:57

I've read the whole thread, and I tend to agree with Littlebluetruck. And the longer we wait for the OP to clear up some of her contradictions like whether there is or is not a mortgage I'm even more inclined to agree. What am I missing?

At this point, all we really know is that the OP made a deal with her parents for them to buy a home and she would rent it. She probably does not have the credit worthiness to carry a mortgage in her own name. She approved of the home prior to purchase, let them make the needed improvements, and now wants to back out on the deal she made. Even if the parents sold it immediately, they would lose a lot of money in both purchasing costs and selling costs. As they are retired, they are no doubt on a fixed limited income, with whatever savings/income they have will have to last them the rest of their lives.

They used their limited resources to make an investment in their daughter and her family and their future. She's throwing it back in their faces. If she can do better for herself, then she should, and let her DPs get back to taking care of themselves rather than their fickle and ungrateful adult daughter.

Original poster
jamjarlife · 26/02/2020 12:58

Sorry! There was a mortgage initially for half the purchase price, then my parents got some money from an inheritance so they paid the rest off shortly after we moved in. Now there is no mortgage.

OP posts:
DisgruntledGuineaPig · 26/02/2020 13:28

Right - that makes more sense re the mortgage/rent level.

Give it until Easter, then if it doesn't feel right still, dont feel you have to stay there because your parents bought their buy-to-let property in that location.

Favours that come with lots of strings attached or with the intention to control you, or that end up benefitting the person 'helping you out' more than you, should be declined.

Your parents have left you in a position that's no better financially than you were without their help, except now instead of renting a house in an area that suits you, you are now renting in an area that doesn't.

Remember, just because something is wrapped up and presented as a favour, doesn't mean you have to accept.

GreenLeaf88 · 26/02/2020 13:31

Let them rent to someone else and get your own place.

Rezie · 26/02/2020 13:39

My parents own the flat I'm renting. I pay rent and I have tenancy agreement. I benefit from having reliable land lords and my rent is at the lower end of the market rate and they benefit from having a reliable tenant. Per the tenancy agreement I'm entitled to move like anyone else is.

Op, your parents bought an investment. They picked the house and area. You can move out since you dktn like it and there are no financial benefits for you.

billy1966 · 26/02/2020 13:45

OP, I don't know why you are feeling guilty....

They chose the area and house that suits them.
They are charging you a higher rent so that this costs you more.

Your parents sound like a piece of work who are doing EXACTLY what suits them best.

I'm sure they will be fine.

Tell them its costing you to live in an area that you don't like.

If they really wanted you to live there and to help you, they would have involved you in the decision as to where you live....Hmm

Stop feeling guilty and do what suits you best.
Stop decorating a house you may not end up staying in.
Do check the area out further though.
If you change your mind about staying..still talk to them about the cost.
Flowers

bohemia14 · 26/02/2020 13:47

I agree with @SudokuQueen. If the council tax banding is 2 bands higher then you almost certainly have a larger property and therefore if the rent is lower you're not paying market rate.

I can't believe you've even mentioned 'Round 2!!'
There are huge expenses incurred in buying and selling property.

Give it more time. Or go it alone and stand on your own two feet.