Is OH having an affair?

[Grigio3000]

A long few months ago now, after a row with OH, I found a Google search “Should I have an affair”. OH goes out to night classes (Which have been even more frequent lately. Which they always dress up for) so has plenty of opportunity to do so. Also seen a few other things on line, some odd behaviour, but no smoking gun yet. Am I being paranoid? How do I confront? What if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick? Trust is then gone. Help.

Not enough to go on yet, but I’d never ignore an instinct.

Is he secretive about his phone?

Call him when he’s out at his classes. How does he sound?

Ask him about his classes, what they are doing etc. Get some details.

It’s not what I’d say is a very high probability of an affair, but minor red flags which are worth investigating more.

minor red flags

Really? Searching 'should I have an affair' online is a minor flag? Seems like a massive great big one to me, there's no innocent explanation for that even if he was simply considering it.

I might be in denial here.

I don't think that's something you'd Google unless there was a person there that you were considering have an affair with.

But that search was months ago after a big row. I felt like it myself. But...I haven’t.

The fact that he googled it would be enough for me. Who googles something like that? If someone isn't happy in a relationship not contemplate cheating.

Doesn’t mean they have

Do you know where the classes are held? I'd turn up to one and if he's not there, you have your answer.

It doesn’t mean that they have but it means that they’re seriously thinking about it

I agree the online search doesn't look good but does not mean he has done anything, although I would be hurt by it. How are things between you otherwise? You have a niggle, but try not to blow everything out the water when it could be nothing. Me, I'm too much of a hot head and would sit down and ask him and tell him why I feel this way but if you want more time to look for a more concrete answer then I don't see anything wrong with that either.

And if that was a few months ago and he’s been going to night classes all this time, and your instincts are telling you something is up? I agree. Turn up to the classes one day and see if he’s actually there?

Should I have an affair. Wtf

That’s it. It could have been a wobble. Which is forgiveable if it’s not acted upon. But it’s curtains if it was.

Who would even think google would help with such a question ?
Just ask him outright why he searched that

I felt like it myself. But...I haven’t.
This could have been his mentality? A google search, a simmer down and then it’s put to bed. But if you’ve considered an affair and he is searching for answers about affairs it’s clear this relationship is on very fragile ground.
Are you happy? Do you want to be in this relationship? Have you talked to your husband about your relationship?

I’ve no doubt they’re at the classes but it could be someone In The class if you follow me. So no point turning up and making a scene if I’m wrong.

I haven’t considered one. I meant, we were both mad at other. But no, nothing on my part.

What answer did he get from his Google search, and how obedient is he?

Obedient? It’s my partner not a Labrador. No idea what answer.

LOL! What did he expect Google to say? Yes Dave, go and have an affair mate. Seriously, who would search for something like that?

I know. It’s odd. Always Googling stuff though.

I think it's an odd thing to Google unless someone is planning on having one or tempted by someone imo

No a popular opinion on here but I'd have to look at his phone

Difficult. Always has it.

First thing I’d do is ask him. Sounds bored to me.

First thing I’d do is ask him. Sounds bored to me.

Right, because asking a partner if they are having an affair always gets a truthful answer? Why does this suggestion always come up on these threads?

Hey Dave are you having an affair?
Yes I am.

It doesn't work like that unfortunately.