Is OH having an affair?

[Grigio3000]

A long few months ago now, after a row with OH, I found a Google search “Should I have an affair”. OH goes out to night classes (Which have been even more frequent lately. Which they always dress up for) so has plenty of opportunity to do so. Also seen a few other things on line, some odd behaviour, but no smoking gun yet. Am I being paranoid? How do I confront? What if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick? Trust is then gone. Help.

Such a strange thing to Google, it’s hardly as if Google is going to throw up an answer like ‘yeah what a great idea, go for it’ . I would be suspicious about the recent frequent ‘night classes’, yes.

If my DH checked my phone he might find some odd google searches.

We all search for odd things sometimes but ‘should I have an affair’ is a bit out there...

If my fiance Googled that unless there was an outstanding reason why he Googled it I would finish it. To me it shows that he has thought about it enough to ask Google what it thinks.

Could be the OP is male and is familiar with MN, and doesn't want to be labelled as controlling or creepy for worrying about such things.

There always the 90% of the internet set up for and controlled by men. I mean reddit will tell OP she's a bitch who should die in a fire.

It's the willingness to use women's advice while simultaneously believing them to be wrong. Baffling to me.

What kind of muppet Googles that? It's just too stupid.

Surely you would use Incognito

The avoidance of pronouns makes me shudder (in the same way a misplaced apostrophe does or seeing ‘loose’ used in place of ‘lose’. I mean I genuinely couldn’t give a shit about the gender of either the OP or the partner, nor would any advice or opinion be affected by gender. It just makes it so bloody hard to read!?

Personally I would maybe suggest going out for a drink with him/her & asking, maybe even saying ‘I know we all google stupid random shit sometimes but I saw you’d googled X a while ago & now I feel like we’re not communicating well at the moment, should I be worried?’. Then look at her/him and clock the microsecond of her/his initial unguarded reaction..you’ll know your answer then.

There must be other issues if you are so suspicious that you are looking at the search history. This was a few months ago, and clearly you are still suspicious - have you checked the search history again?

What are the evening classes? Why are they more frequent?

Yes, I can say for absolute certainty that he is having an affair. I checked my magic eight ball and it confirmed as such.

It's more likely he's left that google search for you to see.

I can't see many men 'dressing up' for an evening class.

Are they thespians? Is he dressing up in tights?

To the weirdos as usual focusing on minutiae to try and be funny or clever, can you please stop filling up the thread with inanities so we can get on with it? No he's not wearing tights, and no one but you cares about the pronouns here.

Back on topic -

OP @Grigio3000 do you think you're both happy in the relationship?

If you were, would you have been checking his Google searches?

If you think you're both / one of you is unhappy, then is there anything either of you could do to change that?

And are either / both of you willing to change that?

Because that's all that matters, not this amateur detective bullshit people tend to get so excited about on here.

I don't think they are thespians, I think they are lesbians.

Which is OK by me.

Perhaps they did it as a rouse to see if you would bring it up and then they'd know you were raking through their search history?

*ruse

DYAC

Perhaps they did it as a rouse to see if you would bring it up and then they'd know you were raking through their search history?

Would be a hell of a way to catch a snooper.

“They” 🙄

He's as daft as a brush to ask Google to tell him what to do.

On the other hand, at least he's weighing up should/should not rather than just going straight for a dating site.

Silly guy to google in that way!

Him: Google, should I have an affair?

Google: The thing is Dave, you need to think about the repercussions and we both know you have a history of...

You must have already been suspicious to have looked at the search history OP. Is there a background of lying and distrust?

To the weirdos as usual focusing on minutiae to try and be funny or clever

It is honestly not that. It’s about being able to read and process the post without being distracted by the OP choosing to use deliberately clunky language.

There are often posts on MN where the OP is either not very literate, or for whom English is a second language. There no intention behind their poor sentence construction or grammar so I agree they shouldn’t be judged on the whole.

However, in this instance, it is clearly deliberate and not only makes it hard to read but also gives the impression that the OP presumes MNers to not be intelligent or tolerant enough to give advice or opinion unless ‘they’ hide the gender of their ‘OH’ from us, which feels insulting/patronising.

Is it definitely a serious search? I only ask, because just today alone I've accidentally Googled "what is a sloth?", "am I on fire?" and the letter 'f'. Bloody fat typing fingers...

I didn’t expect a grilling. I’m not a regular user of this site so I’m just being cautious about what I say. Nothing to do with non binary etc. Six degrees of separation and all that. Everyone knows someone who knows someone. Sorry I asked now. Silly really.

MN had 119 million users in 2018. S/he won't identify you.

Exactly! Everyone’s on it.

Anyway OP,do you u feel you can speak to your partner about this?
Or would you rather just keep an eye on them and wait to see what comes up?

First of all, find out if the college etc they say they're attending classes at is running the classes they are apparently going to on the nights they're out.
Then, do a little surveillance - is their car there or not?