Is OH having an affair?

[Grigio3000]

A long few months ago now, after a row with OH, I found a Google search “Should I have an affair”. OH goes out to night classes (Which have been even more frequent lately. Which they always dress up for) so has plenty of opportunity to do so. Also seen a few other things on line, some odd behaviour, but no smoking gun yet. Am I being paranoid? How do I confront? What if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick? Trust is then gone. Help.

I think I just have to keep an eye out. Not a nice feeling though. Would like to know. One way or another.

I think it is quite easy to accidentally click on the Google suggestions. I have just typed should I into the search and the first 2 options were pop a blister and buy a diesel car. When I added the word have it came up with an abortion and a flu jab. Those 4 options were all totally random not something I would have googled at all but it would have been very easy to accidentally click enter on one of the options.

'are we happy' and if not 'can we be happy' and 'do we want to be happy'

^^ simple but good. Genuine, non judgemental. More likely to get an honest response than many other methods.

Say nothing. Don't get his guard up.

Maybe just before you go out somewhere alone that needs you to drive say your phone is broken/lost/left at friends and you need to go back for it and you need his in case you break down.

His reaction will tell you everything. He shouldn't need time to wipe it.

So what is the evening class?? Is there a genuine reason that it has increased in frequency and is there a natural progression/ association? Eg if they are doing a literature course, and have also now added a creative writing course?

Okay I have totally Googled stuff like that, it's because I like reading forum answers to people asking those kinds of questions!! It's weird I know... it's fun reading through the drama.

Not sure if men also do this though!

Do you know what the classes are? Seems weird to dress up for computing class but perhaps more normal if it’s a dance class?

Do you know where it is or how much it costs or any other details? Google it and see if it exists. Get your backside down there to a convenient location and wait until you see him come out.

See what he does, chat to guys, chat to a woman, walk off hand in hand with someone etc?

If he catches you have a story ready. ‘I was just at so and so’s house and thought I’d pick you up on the way home/cadge a lift from you on my way home’ or whatever. You must have a story rehearsed. Hopefully he won’t see you though and you can sneak away un-noticed.

Or get a pal who knows him to sit in her car outside and spy on him coming out for you. Preferably in a car he doesn’t recognise.

You may find you don’t see him because he never went and went somewhere else under the guise of a night class...

If anyone did that to me I would very much prefer not to be in a relationship with them.

Exactly. Not gonna happen.

The guys getting dolled up and going to a ‘night class’. And you’re not going to investigate? Er really.

How many weeks will you let it go on? During this time will you just refuse sex, use confirms, or risk being exposed to a potentially deadly std that he may have caught?

You just don’t know what he’s up to.

Oh and why haven’t you said what the night class is for? More than me have asked. What is it?

Condoms.

If he really did Google "should I have an affair" he's deliberately trying to wind you up or being a dick. People stumble into affairs, they don't ask Google if they should have one.

Goady and infuriating though that is I'd say its just evidence that he's a dick, not that he's having an affair.

More material to this is the fact that you clearly don't trust him. And your gut is telling you something is not right. And you've had bad rows. It does sound as if you should do a bit of snooping but I wouldn't get too hung up on the Google thing.

Okay I have totally Googled stuff like that, it's because I like reading forum answers to people asking those kinds of questions

Hmmm similar in many ways to reading Mumsnet...

I'd be wary of this. He is obviously feeling guilty about something