WIBU to shout at neighbour rummaging through my skip?

[Bobthebobbin]

Moved to a new area and managed to fall out with a neighbor already.

I came home the other day to find an old man rummaging through my skip and a pile of "treasures" on the floor that he was helping himself to.

I asked him why he was on my property and what he was doing, he said he needed a few bits! He then proceeded to turn his back on me and carried on sorting through the skip. DP was at home but the man did not knock or ask to remove anything.

I said he can't just come on to my property and help himself to whatever he likes without asking. He said it's in the skip so fair game.

Things got a bit heated and I shouted at him to get off my driveway.

I am furious but also shaken up by an attempted burglary when we first moved in so perhaps that experience is colouring my view.

Genuinely cannot tell if IABU.

People saying it's no big deal, would you be ok with someone walking up your driveway and going through your household rubbish?

Anything in black bin bags, no. That can be personal stuff that I wouldn't want someone else to see. But anything that's in a skip or recycling box is fair game, IMO. I'd probably ask if there was anything in particular he was after and point out anything still usable. I don't like stuff going to landfill so if someone else has a use for it, great.

YANBU.

It escalated quickly because he was fucking rude!

How difficult would it have been for him to say 'Oh sorry. I would have knocked if I thought anyone was home. Would it be ok for me to rummage a bit, I'd love to have x and x?'

If he had, OP would have replied 'Oh no problem! Help yourself'

And there would have been no thread.

Rude man gets the boot. YANBU.

Walnutwhipster

Attempted burglary, Really? He took some stuff you had already clearly thrown away. He wasn't climbing through your window. Are you always so over dramatic?

Those are separate incidents. Is your reading comprehension always so poor?

The attempted burglary was someone breaking in through the back door at about 2am one night, tripping over some tools, making an ungodly racket and hightailing out of there as we woke up and came down to see what was going on.

I get annoyed when people put their stuff in my skip, taking stuff out is great as I can get rid of more stuff.

YANBU. The issue isn’t him taking your discarded items, it’s him going on your property without permission.

Unless he was making a total mess on the drive, he was doing you a favour.

Less stuff in a skip, means you can put more stuff in there yourself.

Be grateful. Round my way, neighbours who see an open skip pile all sorts into it.

I swear, they save up mattresses round here.

I think he should have asked, although it's good to know that less went to landfill!

He could have handled it a bit better but, tbh, I was delighted when neighbours took stuff out of my skip as it made room for more shit I didn't want.

Knock, ask, sure take whatever you want.

Trespass and then behave like an arsehole, hard no.

All those people who say there are fine with strangers on their drive, I am sure you also won't mind if we pop over on a sunny day and have a bbq. Come on, just give us your addresses!

making more space in my skip - what's not too like the cost of dumping stuff - unless you were rethinking of reusing it yourself?

I couldn't bring myself to care to be honest. You get more room in your skip, he gets some junk that he clearly had a use for - win win. Why on earth does it matter?

Bit of both - it's not like you want the stuff, but it is good form to ask (particularly if you're caught without asking first!!)

I think given your recent attempted burglary it's understandable that you are on edge. It can take a long time to feel safe again when that happens but it gets better. With regards to the man in the skip you over reacted but he was rude and if he had said 'sorry for not knocking but I didn't want to disturb you' or similar you would probably have reacted differently.

So many people walk across our drive (it's on the bend in the road, so it's shorter to walk across it, than round it), that I'd permanently have a sore throat if I shouted at them all. It falls within the category of "live and let live".

Meh, I can see why it got your back up and you'd rather be asked but I certainly wouldn't fall out with a neighbor over it. If he's old and lived there a long while he will likely have told everyone what an arsey cow you are....personally I'd go on the charm offensive with him and the other neighbours. Neighbours can make your life hell and there's fuck all that can be done about it really. No way I'd poke the bear in the zoo over stuff in a skip. That wasn't terribly clever.

RedskyAtnight I wuold be seriously tempted to do something like put wet concrete downa nd then sit and watch

I think this may partially be a London cultural issue, tbh. In London I really think there's an accepted culture that one person's trash is another person's treasure (plus fewer people have vehicles to do tip runs or much in the way of driveways/front gardens) and so people are if anything glad to see people helping themselves to stuff they are done with and there is a tacit acceptance that anything you have clearly finished with, you are happy for someone else to have.

As PP say, it would have been polite to ask, but I really don't think it's worth getting worked up that he didn't, and a "get off MY PROPERTY" attitude isn't going to get you far in a city of this density where we all have to accept the mild intrusion of others and live and let live.

It’s YOUR property - from what some people are saying, as long as it’s in a skip anyone has the legal right to go on to your land as long as they are getting stuff that is going to be chucked, and would no longer be classed as trespassing?
I am sure if he, as someone you recognised as a neighbour, knocked at your door and politely asked if he could have a look it would be win-win all round but to turn his back on you and carry on going through it is bloody entitled behaviour!

He absolutely should have asked, but how did you know he hadn't beforehand?

My mum might have reacted as you did, she would have said it was the principle of the thing and it was irrelevant whether you wanted the skip contents or not. Me, I don't like that attitude and prefer to just get on with people so if I recognised him as a neighbour, I would assume he had asked DH and asked what sort of things he was looking for and make suggestions. (Like "There's some wood at the bottom there, is that any good to you?") Seeing as it would all be going to landfill/tip anyway. I'd rather get on with people than make a big stand over something so trivial, and you may be living next door for a good while.

I'm not advocating being a doormat, I just don't get why it was necessary to have a squabble with a neighbour over stuff you don't want and are getting rid of?

Also, OP, you might want to bear in mind that from a home security perspective one of the best assets you can have is friendly neighbours who know your habits and are disposed to look out for you.

YANBU! I'd be fuming.

He was impolite to come onto your drive and start skip diving without even saying "hello, would you mind if I had a look at what you're getting rid of? I'm in need of a bits and pieces." Turning his back on you was really rude. I'd think differently if it was just on the road and could have feasibly belonged to a number of houses. Going onto someone's property is different.

Oh god there's an old fella lives opposite my rental house side driveway. When my dd initially was my tenant she painted some shelves in eggshell paint, did a lovely job and left them at the top of the drive in the sunshine to dry one side before painting other. Went in house made a brew came back out to see Steptoe driving off with her shelves in trailer. She doesn't drive so couldn't follow him. She tore a strip off him when he came back and he denied taking them. She told him that he knew full well she only left stuff on the boundary at bottom of drive that she didn't want.
I have even had to warn subsequent tenants about him as he's even been known to take stuff taken out your car whilst you vacuum it etc so l warn them to be very careful of putting anything on the ground in the drive for even a split second or he'll be over.

We had this when we were clearing DM's house. I wouldn't have had such a problem if it had been on the road but people were coming onto the property and rummaging. When I went out on CF asked if he could have the wrought iron gates that weren't on the skip! We had to move them out of sight before the thieving bastard came back for them!

YANBU.
He should have knocked. It was very rude of him. I would have dug my heels in when dealing with someone so rude too.