WIBU to shout at neighbour rummaging through my skip?

[Bobthebobbin]

Moved to a new area and managed to fall out with a neighbor already.

I came home the other day to find an old man rummaging through my skip and a pile of "treasures" on the floor that he was helping himself to.

I asked him why he was on my property and what he was doing, he said he needed a few bits! He then proceeded to turn his back on me and carried on sorting through the skip. DP was at home but the man did not knock or ask to remove anything.

I said he can't just come on to my property and help himself to whatever he likes without asking. He said it's in the skip so fair game.

Things got a bit heated and I shouted at him to get off my driveway.

I am furious but also shaken up by an attempted burglary when we first moved in so perhaps that experience is colouring my view.

Genuinely cannot tell if IABU.

Genuine question: do people really get territorial about their driveways? I mean, I know it's technically my property, but someone being on it is nowhere the same IMP as someone in my enclosed back garden or inside my house. Random people are on it all the time when they deliver stuff, visit, when they come to put charity bags through the door. I can't imagine screeching at someone to get off my property when they were just on the driveway!

He should really have asked first but I'd be pleased if he was taking stuff out. My problem is that I usually arrange stuff in the skip to maximise space so it is annoying when people mess that up.

I was also under the impression that skip rubbish is sorted and not just sent to landfill.

It may be rubbish but it was legally your rubbish. And he trespassed. I think in this case it's more the principle of it that's the issue.

Anything in a skip is your property- even if it's in the road - until it is taken away by the skip lorry.

I had this also but with two random men. I work from home and have a long drive. The skip was right outside my window and I noticed movement in the reflection on my screen. I turned around and two big blokes were right outside my window (where they could clearly see me) rifling around the skip. They were well dressed and had parked their van at the end of the drive just slightly out of view. I banged on the window and told them to leave to which they just waved me away and carried on rummaging. I banged again and told them to go again at which point they slowly meandered their way back up the drive.

They really shook me up. Thing is, if they had knocked and asked I'd have probably said go for it but they saw my car and me inside and just felt it was fine for them to carry on.

He's elderly. Norms and values change. He was probably surprised and shocked to be shouted at and that you thought he was doing something wrong. He's a neighbour. Be nice to your neighbours until you have actual proof that they're hostile to you for no reason. I see no evidence of this yet here.

BreconBeBuggered

He should have asked. And if he had, you'd have told him to help himself to whatever he could reach without falling in or making a mess, presumably? I suppose he had that conversation in his head and decided to cut out the awkward asking bit. YWNBU.

Yes, in fact someone came and took our radiators before. Knocked on the door and asked if we were getting rid of them. Asked to take them, but needed to get car so he "hid" the rads behind some other stuff then came back with a friend. It was fine. This was also before the attempted break in.

Yea YABU

You're not having much luck if you've only just moved in! Is it a dodgy area?

do people really get territorial about their driveways?

I do, it's just as much my property as my back garden or living room. I don't expect unwanted or unasked randoms on it.

Delivery drivers and postmen are of course welcome.

He turned his back on you because you were being defensive and unpleasant

No, he did that because he was rude.

I'd have no problem with someone taking stuff out of a skip if they had asked if it was OK. It's basic manners.

You have a perfect right to shout at someone going through your things on your property, OP. Whether they are in a skip, or bin, or bag, on your property, makes no difference.

I once knocked an asked if some paving slabs in a skip were going to landfill (If so, I'd have them) - but it turned out that the owner had just put them in there to stop other stuff blowing away, and he still wanted them! If I'd jsut taken them off his property, I'd have been committing theft.

So was your neighbour.

But at least you have now laid down firm boundaries and he will think twice about crossing them/you again. With some CF neighbours (which it sounds as if this is) this is a definite Good Thing.

He should have knocked first to be polite but every time we have had a skip people have taken things out of it.
Making enemies of your neighbors without very good reason should be avoided.
People who raid skips aren't particularly likely to want to rob your house they are very different activities.

Yes, he should have asked.

Around here, we tend to put unwanted items on the street in front of the drives (radiators, old bath, old machines) and they are taken away by scrap men within 24 hours, you don't even need to call them. They are making money, we are saving money, everybody is happy.

As long as people don't put rubbish everywhere, and don't add to your skip...

However, rubbish within the properties are not a free-for-all, so if I leave a radiator by my front door, it would be theft if someone nicks it, same way as if they help themselves to my bike.

Oh dear. I've got visions of you either farmer style pointing your rifle from the upstairs window "get orrrf my laaaand" or Peggy Mitchell

It's the driveway, not your bedroom. It does feel great to actually own your first home but put it into perspective.

People saying it's no big deal, would you be ok with someone walking up your driveway and going through your household rubbish?

Well I can't see what they'd hope to find but wouldn't bother me.

So all these posters thinking it's okay would do the same? Rather than knock on the door and ask if it's okay to use some of the stuff?

No. I'd ask. Equally it wouldn't bother me if someone didn't ask.

I'd be fine with it, in fact I'd welcome it because it would leave me more space in the skip to dump more stuff!

We had a skip last summer, I’d have been more annoyed if people kept knocking on the door to ask if they could take stuff. We left any metal in front of the skip so that people could take it without rummaging around.

I'd be fine with it, in fact I'd welcome it because it would leave me more space in the skip to dump more stuff!

The only thing that has annoys me when I've hired a skip is when people throw their dog poo bags in there as it makes the skip reek and that isn't pleasant if it is on your drive!

One of my neighbours had the lip on last week because scrap men had taken some patio furniture out of her front yard. It'd been there about 3 months and her car's plenty big enough to get it in and take it to the tip but she obviously couldn't be bothered, so I seriously couldn't understand why her toys were out of her pram!

Oh dear. You fell for the burglars casing your property in the guise of wanting the radiators yet shouted at an innocent man doing the same except because he needed a few bits rather than sussing out if your windows had locks.

Totally unreasonable btw.

DesLynamsMoustache

You're not having much luck if you've only just moved in! Is it a dodgy area?

I say "just" but it's been about 6 months.

It's South London. Previously we rented in a naice area in SW London.

DP and I decided that we wanted a house for our money rather than a flat, so we moved areas. I am wavering on and regretting this decision to be honest. I feel constantly on edge here. But I do have a garden now, and we did manage to get a couple of BBQs in before the weather turned

BookMeOnTheSudExpress

Oh dear. You fell for the burglars casing your property in the guise of wanting the radiators

What??

I'd be less bothered that he's going through the skip and more bothered he's on my property.

YANBU. How rude and cheeky is that. He could at least have asked you first - I mean who walks onto someone's drive and goes through their stuff. Its like someone have a root through your dustbin outside your back door.

My judgement is coloured by our CF neighbours. We let them get away with stuff at first, but they pushed and pushed - chopping parts of our garden down even though it was on our side, telling us to report our nice ndn because their hedge was too high which did not even affect them, coning off the road with at least ten cones so no-one could park anywhere near their home. I think just about everyone has fallen out with them now.

My point is that whilst its nice to be nice to your neighbours, you need to make clear your boundaries early on. Our CFs were seeing how far they could go before we responded because they are bullies and always will be.

Attempted burglary, Really? He took some stuff you had already clearly thrown away. He wasn't climbing through your window. Are you always so over dramatic?