To ask you if you have a real life crush on anyone?

[Rainbowb]

And would you do anything if you could completely get away with it?! Mine is my daughter’s swimming teacher, he has the sexiest smile and is so good with the kids. Totally gives me the flutters but I’m guessing he’s not into overweight bespectacled women in their forties!

Don’t forget

#hasntquitefiguredoutheisanadultTom

@SecretWitch

Yes because It doesn’t stop once you have made contact (‘first encounter’ to the geeks)

There is the continuous purring of approval and reassurance of their needs.

Feck Nick and Tom. A cat would be easier.

Yes 😳 someone I work with, he’s just so beautiful. He has a really sexy accent and when I read fifty shades of grey I pictured him lol
He actually wears a grey suit sometimes and it makes me weak at the knees 😂

#shadyTom

My Tom is three of those hashtags. My previous Tom crush is the other two.

@TomPettysTopHat You're definitely in. At this point, you should be brisk, smiley and friendly. Think Kate Middleton visiting a Sure Start centre. Engage the Tom as much as possible but make sure he sees you engaging others too. Particularly OTHER MEN. Slowly, the Tom will come out of his shell. And slowly the Tom will think, if I don't nab her another guy will.

n.b. It may take the Tom a couple of years to act. If you want to land a Tom, be prepared for the long haul.

@SecretWitch Nick is the low hanging fruit. You will need to climb higher up the tree to reach the exotic Tom varieties.

@y0rkier0se Those are crushes rather than Toms. The Tom is a sub-species of crush with geeky attributes. Call the bad boy. Have some fun before coronavirus strikes.

@SuckingDieselfella

Kate at sure start!!!!

@Disneygeek30 Oh yes, the accent is another Tom feature.

My Tom has one too.

#regionalTom

There are a lot of them about, actually.

Yes I have, and I got caught checking out his arse, and body in general. By him 😳 pretty sure he did it back. And he knows. He must know. I flip from feeling embarrassed, to 'well I'm only human' and I indignant. The worst thing is I told someone I thought was a friend, who has told someone I don't get on with.
But fuck, at least my libido is alive and kicking

My Tom has a very slight Manc accent, and just a calm sexy voice. I've rung his work phone, just to hear his outgoing message when I know he's not there.

@squishedgrapes

Your Tom is Professor Brian Cox.

If his arse is worth checking out, keep checking it out. (My Tom is very geeky but his arse definitely isn't.) We'll all be quarantined pretty soon and you need to get your fun where you can.

Mine is a woman I work with, she looks like a younger Gwen Stefani. Nothing would ever happen, she’s married (to a man) and they have a child, and I’ve been with my male partner for about 10 years, she also lives half way across the world so I rarely see her in person anyway, but I do like to imagine!

@SuckingDieselFella a couple of years you're not kidding...it's taken three to get this far!

Think Kate Middleton visiting a Sure Start centre This is truly an amazing tip which I shall employ tomorrow and feed back

@squishedgrapes

There is a small territory within the Manx accent that is tolerable and actually quite nice. It has to be softly spoken.

Matt from the pottery throw down show has it. Too strong and it brings up visions of Gallagher, too soft and it’s almost Yorkshire.

Same could be said for the Liverpool accent. But they would be wrong.

#NorthernTom

Manc not Manx. Never heard anyone from Isle of Man.

Yes. Grey hair.bearded. Devilishly handsome with a filthy twinkle in his eye.
Unfortunately/fortunately he felt the same and we had sex. However every silver lining has a cloud- his cock is tiny 😢😢😢😢

G*ge Cl**ney has a tiny cock?

Wow. No wonder Amal looks angry all the time.

Ha ha no he is far more manly than George

Apart from the cock issue obvs

Work colleague I sit next to. He is about 15 years younger than me and has a girlfriend of course.

Message my Tom about a work related issue on instant messenger and he was very polite and said ‘you’re the best’ but only in a professional mannner. I though maybe would be an opportunity to chat, but he was super busy as he’s been off sick. I think I’ll give up, if it’s going to happen it will happen. Plus he has young kids - his wife has left and he seems to live at home with kids (they have a nanny). Sure his wife has access / maybe shared care but in reality whilst Id love a few dates / bit of fun, my kids are 26, 16 and 12, so I couldn’t go back to young kids. Better off single!

Darbs, the first rule of snaring a Tom is to lose interest.

He'll come running now for sure.

#tinyTom (that one is for @changemynamechangemynamewhen)

Well, mine have gone into hiding. Clearly, I was just too much for them.

However, I was called beautiful today and was busy admiring myself when the young lad on the bus offered me a seat. I thanked him and said 'no' and added 'gosh, I must look old' and he just replied 'yes'.

Crushed.

I wonder if competent Toms have gone in to survival mode what with all this virus stuff.

It's right up their street. Dystopian novel where the geek saves the day comes true. It's got international virus, world governments, medicine can't do much so its over to the tech guys who are furiously working out stats, exponential growth, data visualisations and predictions whilst their buddies in computational biology are using AI to identify strains of virus.

It's all there. Competent Tom has taken on the role of Goldblum in Jurassic Park - the man of the moment guiding the people to safety (cape optional).