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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shit birthday

96 replies

madcatladyforever · 23/02/2020 16:00

I don't care about birthdays usually but this year has been really shit. I got divorced, lost my job, had to move to another county and have been unwell and was just gutted that my son just totally ignored my birthday. I've not had a call from him or a card or anything.
I'm on my own. I don't have anything to do or anywhere to go and I just feel really hurt.
They obviously must have remembered at some point this afternoon as I got an impersonal gif on WhatsApp doesn't say happy birthday or anything.
No phone call or email. We normally get on fine. I feel properly taken for granted and really disappointed.
How hard is it to send a card?

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 23/02/2020 16:02

How old is he?

Happy birthday - I know it’s strangers on the internet, but heartfelt nonetheless, from one Pisces to another.

💐

Palavah · 23/02/2020 16:03

Oh that sucks. Have you moved overseas for work? For a set period of time? It sounds as though you've been having a tough time and this is just the icing on the cake.

I don't think it's unreasonable to let your son know that you were miffed he didn't remember your birthday properly.

Can you do something nice for yourself today?

FuzzyPuffling · 23/02/2020 16:05

Happy birthday from me too.
Sounds like you have had a whole heap of rubbish at once which has perhaps made you more sensitive. Buy yourself a birthday present - it will be exactly what you wanted!

Franticbutterfly · 23/02/2020 16:07

Happy birthday! Why not do something nice for yourself tonight? Cinema then a takeaway followed by a tub of ice cream or a big bar of chocolate? Xx

WinterCat · 23/02/2020 16:07

Happy birthday. Flowers

tiredsleepysleep · 23/02/2020 16:07

I'm sorry OP, it does sound pretty shitty of your son. I doubt he's intentionally done it to hurt you, he'd have just not thought.. but then that's the whole issue isn't it, he hasn't thought.

A genuine happy birthday from me! And here is some birthday cake for you too! CakeCakeCakeGrinThanks

Lordfrontpaw · 23/02/2020 16:08

And boys can be a bit rubbish when it comes to things like this (well the ones I know anyway). Don’t take it personally!

I agree with the poster above - buy yourself something nice. It sounds like you deserve a nice treat.

madcatladyforever · 23/02/2020 16:10

Thank you all. He's 40 so not exactly a baby.

OP posts:
RositaEspinosa · 23/02/2020 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 23/02/2020 16:11

Call him. Say ‘hey! Am I not worth a phone call on my birthday?’ And have a nice chat.

Sorry you’re having a rubbish day. Maybe get yourself some nice food sorted or buy yourself something.

Happy birthday Cake

PinkiOcelot · 23/02/2020 16:12

Happy birthday OP!!
That’s shit and no excuse. I don’t blame you for being upset xx

DorisDances · 23/02/2020 16:15

I would feel the same too OP. Birthday flowers from me for you Flowers

Upstartcrones · 23/02/2020 16:15

Call him out on it otherwise it will become the norm. Tell him you are hurt.

My brother did this to my mum for years and she was just hurt over and over. She's passed now and never really said how she felt. Speak up and don't let him be a lazy bastard who takes people for granted.

Happy birthday OP. Wine CakeFlowers

Lordfrontpaw · 23/02/2020 16:16

Remind him - I assume there’s no wife or partner to remind him?

FedUpOfAdulting · 23/02/2020 16:17

Hopefully he's thinking that'll he will call you this evening x

Largeyellowdaffodil · 23/02/2020 16:18

I don't care about birthdays usually

So he is meant to know that this year you do?

YouokHun · 23/02/2020 16:20

I agree with @Upstartcrones, don’t be quietly hurt. Let him know, throw your toys out of the pram!

YouokHun · 23/02/2020 16:21

And also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Flowers

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 23/02/2020 16:22

Definitely tell him how you feel.

Jayfee · 23/02/2020 16:22

Lordfront why should a wife or girlfriend remind a 40 year old about his mum's birthday?? OP just text him and say some thing to remind him. I got a phonecall last birthday and although I am not grabby at all I just said ' so.. no birthday card for your mum?' and two days later he came over with a card and flowers. He probably needs reminding that it matters to you. Happy birthday.

Thedogscollar · 23/02/2020 16:22

Theres always one isn't there largeyellowdaffodil?Hmm Happy Birthday OPFlowersCake

ScarlettBlaize · 23/02/2020 16:24

@Lordfrontpaw

Remind him - I assume there’s no wife or partner to remind him?

Sorry, what?

Lordfrontpaw · 23/02/2020 16:24

Because most men I know need a reminder to buy a card or preset. Sad but true. My brother and dad (and son) were/are the same - the assumption was that mum/sil would do the honours.

TwoleftUggs · 23/02/2020 16:29

Happy Birthday OP!
Your son sounds like my brother. His wife sends cards and gifts on his behalf but I’ve never had a text message or any other kind of message on the day to show he remembered!

Beautiful3 · 23/02/2020 16:35

I would forget his birthday too and see what he says!