Shit birthday

[madcatladyforever]

I don't care about birthdays usually but this year has been really shit. I got divorced, lost my job, had to move to another county and have been unwell and was just gutted that my son just totally ignored my birthday. I've not had a call from him or a card or anything.
I'm on my own. I don't have anything to do or anywhere to go and I just feel really hurt.
They obviously must have remembered at some point this afternoon as I got an impersonal gif on WhatsApp doesn't say happy birthday or anything.
No phone call or email. We normally get on fine. I feel properly taken for granted and really disappointed.
How hard is it to send a card?

Last year I went for CBT and it helped me realise the only actions I can really control are my own.
It’s the same for you.
Don’t brood tell your son he has really hurt you by being a selfish man child . He is old enough to take some responsibility
And next year I would remind him in plenty of t8me. But don’t let his actions control whether or not you enjoy your birthday, after all it’s your day not his. Book yourself a treat so whatever happens you will celebrate it.
Happy Birthday 🥳

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday xx

Happy Birthday!!🍹🍰🌈🌻🌼🌸🌷💐 hope things improve for you very soon.

Firstly I wish you many happy returns and hope you do find something nice to cheer yourself up. It’s completely miserable to feel so neglected on your birthday.

Next I say you need to call him out on this. Set some standards and mean it. I would consider sending a message along the lines of, ‘DS, I’m sure you haven’t meant to upset me but I really am hurt and sad that after all that’s happened in the last year you haven’t sent a card, called or made any kind of effort whatsoever for my birthday.’ No apology for calling him out. He needs telling.

And for all those who think it’s outrageous that men might need reminding of a birthday, well yes, in an ideal world they wouldn’t and I’m sure plenty don’t. Unfortunately many really do, my own DH for starters. It’s hardly the end of the world for me to buy his parents a card and it would be crappy of me to refuse to do so to make a point.

Happy Birthday from me too. I’m sorry he has forgotten, I would feel hurt as you are. 💐

Happy birthday xxx

Happy birthday Madcatlady, I’m sorry you’ve not felt special. I’m raising a glass to you right now.
Spartonian really? Did you just skim. Op isn’t 40, her son is.

I’d tell him what a useless arse he is and that I’d spent the day up-dating my will.

I was merely pointing it that my dad and brother was/is spectacularly rubbish at remembering to send cards (some men - and women - are you know) and my late mum used to have to remind them to do it (she was the family organiser).

It wasn’t/isn’t because they didn’t/don’t care - dad never remembered anyone’s birthday and my brother is on the spectrum and doesn’t really ‘get’ giving you a card if he doesn’t see you (and since he never sees anyone that’s a given).

One sibling is prodded by her husband to do these things because he always remembers dates (now that mum is dead), another had dementia so never remembers anyway (and her family have enough to deal with) and another sometimes remembers if she is in the country.

So please don’t do the ‘shock horror - why would anyone ever remind a man to send a card!’ at me - this is my family dynamic, and I’m sure I’m not unique (and I only got two 50th birthday cards between the lot of them which was pretty good going).

This is me too - my birthday yesterday. Happy birthday from me!

My DS is 21 & lives at home! He has no money (long other story), but I gave him £10 the other day & he didn't even get me a card! He did give me a hug.

I just posted really passive aggressive posts on FB & Instagram as only 1 person posted on my fb. Ffs everyone gets a reminder on the day! I always post on my friends'. I see them posting on other ppl's.

I'm really hurt. I'm unwell too & my MH is really bad at the moment. This morning I counted how many diazepam, propanolol & tramadol I have & sat there sobbing. I could have told someone, but then "ppl who say they're suicidal don't actually do anything". Then, as recent news, those who do "should have spoken to us".

Sorry, I'm really low and that was a kick in the teeth for me yesterday.

Fuck. I meant to NC 😫

@MatildaTheCat
And for all those who think it’s outrageous that men might need reminding of a birthday, well yes, in an ideal world they wouldn’t and I’m sure plenty don’t. Unfortunately many really do, my own DH for starters. It’s hardly the end of the world for me to buy his parents a card and it would be crappy of me to refuse to do so to make a point.

Does your dh have a brain injury?

Does he work?

Does he drive or use public transport independently?

Does he manage to get to appointments, meetings, and social engagements on time?

What do you imagine is the reason that he 'needs' you to buy cards for HIS parents?

What is the magical power you have that he doesn't?

Does your vagina come equipped with a magic calendar feature? Mine doesn't.

You can still name change . Contact MNHQ.

Happy Birthday OP.

It isn't fair when no one seems to be bothered. My DS is 21 and doesn't always think to get me a card, he is improving and I think he realises that it is important to make some effort.

Treat yourself to a nice evening. Get a takeaway, wine and watch a movie.

Here is a bunch from me

Happy Birthday Op

Buy a Happy Birthday Mum card on his birthday.

Queen and madcatlady Happy birthday. Wish I could think of the right thing to say to make it better.

Oh QueenOfOversharing - don’t think like that! 💐

I’ve realised it’s just a day and I never really enjoyed birthdays since you stopped getting a party with you classmates with jelly and pin the tail on the donkey (which may happen next year - who knows?).

The nicest birthday I had (a while ago now) was when I took a day off work and spent a day in the spa at my gym. I read, I chilled out and didn’t have to speak to anyone.

You shouldn’t have to rely on anyone else for your own happiness. It’s nice if they remember but if they don’t - pah, stuff them!

@AnneKipanki thank you. Done.

Exactly scarlettblaze!
I’ve stopped sending cards for DHs family but he still manages to remember one of his sisters as she’s the one that kicks off if anyone forgets her birthday.

Queen also, please don't read this as me downplaying your feelings (I'm honestly not) but in my experience February is the shitest month of the year by some distance when it comes to mental health. It's an absolute kick in the teeth of a month.

Oh shit, sorry. I've reported my posts as they mention you.

@madcatladyforever happy birthday 🎂🎉🎈
Please tell your son how you feel, that’s it’s been a rotten year and you would’ve liked a card/phone call

Does your vagina come equipped with a magic calendar feature? Mine doesn't