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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to see my DP because of Coronavirus?

97 replies

sensibleoroverthinking · 23/02/2020 15:01

My DP have just got back from a tour of South Korea and Japan. They have asked if they can come round next weekend to see me and DS, aged nearly 1.

I've said no! I want to wait two weeks to make sure they don't have coronavirus. I tried to say it tactfully but I think they might be a bit offended.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Samcarpy92 · 23/02/2020 15:06

Yes you are.

FortunatelyDark · 23/02/2020 15:07

Have they felt ill?

Avocadohips · 23/02/2020 15:08

What does the foreign office travel advice have to say on the subject? I'd follow that.

namechangerblob · 23/02/2020 15:11

Yanbu. I would feel the same. Doesn't matter if they currently feel well due to incubation period - proven to be up to 24 days with plenty of people testing negative a number of times before going on to become ill. I read that one of the Americans who caught the virus had only just become symptomatic after returning from China on 3rd or 4th of Feb.

BambooBoobam · 23/02/2020 15:14

YANBU.

Toomboom · 23/02/2020 15:21

My son was in Thailand and Japan and got back last week. I have told him that he has to wait two weeks before visiting. While the risk is low I have parents with health issues and very low immune systems, so I can't take the possible risk of infecting them.

He has been fine about it as he understands. I think that you need to just tell your parents no until the incubation period has passed.

Jiggeriepokerie · 23/02/2020 15:25

You're not BU really. Both those countries are in the high risk category so if you've got vulnerable family members then not seeing someone for a couple of weeks isn't the end of the world.

Original poster
sensibleoroverthinking · 23/02/2020 15:27

Thanks all. Interesting to read others' takes on this.

Yes it's the two week incubation period I am worried about. South Korea has just declared it a public health emergency I believe. I obviously hope my DP don't have it for their own sakes, and I know the likelihood is low, but to potentially expose a 1 year old to it feels a bit reckless when they could just wait another week or two.

My poor DM sounded a bit disappointed though Sad

OP posts:
user1480880826 · 23/02/2020 15:28

I would do exactly as you have done. Not worth the risk, especially when you have a baby.

sewingsinger · 23/02/2020 15:31

YANBU and your parents should be taking the lead on this. I think actually that if I had been in Japan and South Korea for a few weeks I would be self isolating as much as I could. For those who are saying 'don't be ridiculous' have a look at todays news and see that South Korea are now on the highest alert due to a surge in cases.

aSofaNearYou · 23/02/2020 15:39

I'd be interested to know why one person has said you are being unreasonable. I wouldn't say it was likely he has it, but can't see what's unreasonable about not wanting to take the risk with a young baby in the house.

aSofaNearYou · 23/02/2020 15:40

Sorry "they" not "he", I always read DP to mean partner.

Fairylea · 23/02/2020 15:42

Yanbu.

StSaulOfSnacks · 23/02/2020 15:44

YANBU

Merename · 23/02/2020 15:45

Yanbu, I’d do the same.

Iooselipssinkships · 23/02/2020 15:45

I understand your concern OP, I think it's better to be caution that not, and not to alarm anyone but it's looking like it's around 24 days incubation now rather than the 2 weeks. Some symptoms in people didn't appear until then. One being 19 days. It's available to read online if you search.

HisValentine · 23/02/2020 15:48

They have diagnosed someone after a 27 day incubation period! See them next month!

Cleo22 · 23/02/2020 15:49

Yanbu

fellyjish · 23/02/2020 15:49

My dad is going to Singapore for work in a couple of weeks. I've told him I won't be seeing him for 2 weeks after he's back and I'd expect him to self-isolate. We don't yet know enough about when it's contagious and how it transmits. I have a baby and don't want him catching it

nutellalove · 23/02/2020 15:50

YANBU

namechangetheworld · 23/02/2020 15:50

YANBU at all OP. Why risk it?

Josette77 · 23/02/2020 15:50

YANBU

Original poster
sensibleoroverthinking · 23/02/2020 15:51

I guess the person/people who think IABU probably think I'm being a bit "precious", and I did wonder that myself, but it's good to know others feel the same as me too.

I expect my parents feel I am being precious, they are much more gung ho than I am and they already think I am over protective of DS so this will just reinforce that! Confused

OP posts:
Mencho · 23/02/2020 15:53

A couple of weeks ago I probably would have said you were being over-cautious but given how much the virus is spreading now here in Japan I think it’s better to be safe than sorry. I think it has been silently spreading here for a while. On the news today there was another confirmed case - a 60 year old school teacher who continued going to work and teaching despite having cold symptoms. It was a week later when she started having with a fever that it was diagnosed as corona virus. I think we’ll be seeing more cases like that in the next week or so.

Pud2 · 23/02/2020 15:57

Advice is that there is no need for a person who has returned from one of the named countries to avoid other people unless they start to have some symptoms. They can still go to work and carry on as normal. You could be standing next to someone on the tube who has just got back from China/Korea etc

However, it’s your call.

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